At least it is real Darling, unlike the dodgy hair implants on you cricketing beau 

no that was entirely left in my care but you know how it is when the so called 'star' of the show wants the best outfit.  They always want me to make them look younger and slimmer.  I'm good but not that good - when things go south, nothing short of an industrial bra will hoist some into an outfit and that's just the men  . 

Between you and me *shifts nervously*  there are some that take the tango a bit too literally   it being the dance that was born in the brothels.

Some of the outfits they want me to make, make them look like a cetain type of lady if ya get my drift and that doesn't do my reputation as a costume designer any good.

They stick that shoe inside his head the poor old fool he end up dead. It's all so sad ain't it? The show being cancelled I mean

Ah, the lovely Goochy, he told me he was the inspiration for your moustache. I wasn't convinced, the whole world knows it's Merv hughes.....

Good question Marky boy...I'm glad you asked.

*checks all the girls are watching......runs his incredibly large hand through his glossy hair*

I turned it down when I was first asked.....poncing about in sequins and tight trousers.... I thought I'd be the laughing stock of the dressing room...erm....locker room.    See, even just mentioning sequins can make a man 75% more girly. Fact IMHO.

BUT...then! Ah, then I started thinking about it a bit more deeply! Hurt at first, but I took a couple of aspirin and carried on..... I thought about all the female dancers..... the female judges...... the female audience.....the female viewers at home..... I had to do it for them Marcus. I'm a young strapping lad as you say, this was the perfect way to show all the ladies my sensitive side ......and get 'em all to fancy me.

*gasps gracefully*

I was stressed Vi, the murder had upset me so much and then Wilma gatecrashed my room. Then of course there was banging noises that carried on most of the night I had to contend with, and the cetral heating pipes seemd to be groaning  I have complained to the management, it was totally out of character

Howzat???  

*stiffles LOLOL groan*

You wouldn't happen to be talking about Hugary's favourite export, would you? I will never forgive them for choosing to export her here, if ever there was a good reason for closing our borders...

  best just to laugh or you'll be on a sticky middle wicket   oh hang on!   That's exactly where I'd like to be 

Well, it worked with me.

Wow! Is that Wilma? 

*has new respect for the Dance Factor's makeup artist*

So you are not normally so stressed then? What has upset you most, the murder, the Hungarian or the final being cancelled?

Oh and I think you're right, the heating is a bit dodgy, it was scorching in room 465 last night 

You stiffle stuff way too much Reeda. Groans should never to be stiffled! It's such a waste.

I snapped her as she was getting tango'ed, ain't she a looker?

You're beginning to sound like Vi depsperate

Careful there! Some of them plugs may not be fully bedded in yet

perhaps in bad taste all things considered but I usually resort to gutter humour when I'm upset and stressed 

Well Mr Duck were you not really worried that  all of those sparkley costumes might not give some hopeful people the wrong idea about your sexuality

*quivers lip*

I'm normally calm in moments of stress, last night was just too much! Of course the murder upset me the most, a man died for gods sake.

I was in the next room 466, did you hear any banging?

I think we are all behaving out of character Roxy

And it sure is sticky now 

Wilma looks...different

Button it Moustachio nut.

So ...is it true that you and Reeda have been doing the horizontal tango? It's about time you trimmed that caterpillar of yours .....it seems to be effecting your eyesight. You do know she's like....at least 40 don't ya?

Not really, I had a lot of grunting and groaning with the odd coyote type wail thrown in. Did you get any of that?

LBW?   Little blushing wench 

*runs to slap more make up on*

Yes I did, I think one of the pipes must have been well blocked

Don't you be worrying about that matey

If anyone starts to get the wrong idea..... I just show a glimpse of me rippling dancers muscles.....

....and bust a few moves....

Doesn't really work when you do it though Marcus......

..... must terrify those poor little kiddies.

Careful you don't crush the flowers with a pose like that Duck. An d FGS put some clothes on 

Have I missed anything? I have been holed up with the programme's sponsors, They are not happy. Cancelling this show could end in a huge law suit,

Curse Crane for getting himself killed,

Well saying as he show ain't going on I will slip into something more comfortable

Been there, done that, got the lockjaw.....

Any mention of my pay cheque?

Hey there Eileen. I've been hoping to catch up with you. What did you mean when you said you and Crane were "special friends"? Were you and the Crane dude getting rude or to what do you allude?

I'm sure he didn't plan on getting killed, did he?

Have you got the same 'crap with money' gene as your relative in Vegas??

*slips into a coma to save poor eyes*

Cancelling  this show could mean the end of your career as well I bet Eileen? You being a bit old and past it like. What are you going to do now it's over?

Any connection to his exotic bedroom tastes??