mesef??? I still don't get it.

WILMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...come and translate please!!!

There's a sentence I never thought I'd say

with an L thrown in for good measure 

I've missed the L out too Duck feck off go away

It's the blue carpet in The Hotel it's disracting me, I used to have it

Eileen, Reeda, Dazzler, Wilma and myself all had alibis. 

Woody is just too freaking old (Cowl would have had to give him a hand) 

Marcus would have had to us a pink stilleto (he's that camp) 

So that only leaves Roxy who seems to be obcessed with red stilletos..

especially me wearing them.  

Oh and the whole rigging thing

t?

I can feel a gameshow coming on.

Ooooh...didn't delete quick enough there Reeda!!!!!

changes accusations

Holds hands up..... I am pissed

Eileen, Reeda, Dazzler, Wilma and myself all had alibis. 

Woody is just too freaking old (Cowl would have had to give him a hand) 

Marcus would have had to us a pink stilleto (he's that camp) 

So that only leaves Roxy who seems to be obcessed with red stilletos..

especially me wearing them.  

Oh and the whole rigging thing

You have got to be joking 

Vi did it, in the bedroom, with a candlestick

*gulp* no need to make it 3 for 3 

Thought so

Whos's Roxy?   

often

She sure did!

Eileen, Reeda, Dazzler, Wilma and myself all had alibis. 

Woody is just too freaking old (Cowl would have had to give him a hand) 

Marcus would have had to us a pink stilleto (he's that camp) 

So that only leaves Roxy who seems to be obcessed with red stilletos..

especially me wearing them.  

Oh and the whole rigging thing

Ooooh....I don't think anyone has ever agreed with me before  

correct

Every night!!

 Really? Couldn't tell.

Thought you were walking funny

where do i post my accusation please

Well ladies and gentlemen these are Roxy’s rambles thoughts on who did it in her best Hercule Poirot leetle grey cells way 

Here are the facts:   There was no struggle put up by Crane so he knew and was comfortable with the assailant.  The murder weapon was a red stiletto, the heel of which was sharpened.  Crane was heard to say “It’s a bit cramped” and various other mumblings before he was kebabed by said shoe.  Let us remember that a stiletto is not a normal weapon of choice, so who went to the trouble of sharpening it?  Someone with a lot of patience but the fatal blow was delivered with anger and passion! 

Let me look at the suspects in turn and say why I think they did or didn’t do this monstrous deed:

Eileen  a judge on the show who made a mistake and fell in love with Crane after a love affair of one weeks duration.  Eileen poor Eileen was dumped for being crap in the sack but would she kill him for that?  No I think she had too much dignity for that.  She’s not the murderer. 

Reeda  a dancer on the show who normally reads the news.  Crane made a bet that she and Emma Emmanuel  would reach the final and they did with my help.  Does Reeda have any talent or did she sleep her way to the top?  She was writing a meaty tomb and her publisher was going to publish it after competition.  Was Crane going to put an end to it?   It’s true that the book is worth more now there’s been a murder! But remember Crane did give her good marks in the competition and was fixing it for her and Duck boy to win.  So no She’s not the murderer.   I can’t help wondering would a woman take the time to sharpen a heel? 

*Jumps* I really shouldn’t do this while watching Salem’s Lot – it’s scaring the bejesus out of me!  

We’ll come back to Wima. 

Now for the men:

Marcus  a Judge.  He minces about a lot but is that just a ruse? He knew Crane 20 years ago at a dance academy.  He’s always trying to get us to believe that the murder was nothing to do with the competition.  Well he could be right.  Is the shoe subterfuge as he states?  Crane was going to replace Marcus in a Razzamatazza wotsit show.  He was also hurt with a bunch of red stilettos – did he keep one? Were Marcus and Eileen in on the vote rigging – they must have known what Crane was up to even though Crane was the Head judge when casting votes?  Was he fed up of Crane taking centre stage?  However, would he seriously wait for years and years to do Crane in?  He’s had ample opportunity to do so but hasn’t.  No he’s not the murderer. 

Woody the show host.  He  claims he’s going to be on the Ice Factor show and was about to be replaced with Crane as a younger version of him on Dance Factor.   He was sacked from this job for spying on the young dancers. The perv   Likes to sit in the wardrobe department ‘feeling up’ the costume material – especially silk. The freak! Finds it funny that both Marcus and Crane's careers were ended by a red stiletto.  I have to agree with him on that point.    Woody possibly could be moving on to bigger and he thinks better things.  Would he leave?  You bet ya, but although it would be an embarrassment to be sacked from the show, he had other eggs in the basket so no I don’t think he’s the murderer. 

Dazzler aka Duck boy a dancer and crappy cricketer.  The only thing he takes in the slips is Vi.  Has stated on many occasions that cheats make him angry.  Could he have flipped when he found out that the competition was rigged for Emmanuel and Reeda to win???? Alas I fear he is all mouth no trousers (and not because Vi dislodged them).  If you ask me, Duck boy doesn’t have the brain capacity to do it?  I did wonder if his large physic is what Crane was referring to in his dressing room, but no I still don’t think he’s the murderer.  

All the suspects have stated where they allegedly were when the murder took place:

Emmanuel was with Wilma in her dressing room.  Marcus states he was alone in his dressing room.  Woody was in my storage cupboard in the costume department.  Duck boy claims he was doing telephone interview but doesn’t say where could have been on a mobile.  Reeda was being helped into a Basque by Eileen in my costume department. I as you know, was retrieving dresses from Emmanuel’s dressing room.

Now ladies and gentlemen we come to the two suspects who I feel had the biggest reason for icing Crane.

Wilma our Hungarian Orxford educated dancer.  1^st class degree in wringing hands and popping pills with a voddy chaser.  She says Crane was a bully towards her.  She also had a Hungarian boyfriend who turned out to be a transgender. Former 3 times world champion dancer but has had a breakdown and has big problems.  I have every sympathy for her past troubles but could stress have made her flip?  Crane caused her breakdown, even making her pay so a story about her transgender ex-boyfriend didn’t get into papers. Wilma says she was bullied and would have us believe she too drugged up and drunk to take out Crane.  But were those pills sweeties and was she drinking water?  She did seem to confuddle us all with her Hungarian Oxford accent a lot!  However, I think she’s been manipulated by every man she’s met – used and abused and I think she was so drugged up by the person who did kill Crane.   She was so drugged up she wouldn’t have know what day it was and would unwittingly have provided an alibi for the murder.   So no I do not believe that she is the murder. 

The murderer is:

Emmanuel. His ex-wife Tipsy Topplova had affair with Crane.  He likes to wear women’s clothes and shoes.  Not a crime I hear you say and yes that's true.    I feel it is a little suspicious that Crane kept giving you high scores a year after your marriage had finished.   Latin and hot headed you felt emasculated by your transvestite tendancies. Furthermore, you felt humiliated that Crane taunted you about them and he heaped further embarrassment that your own wife had an affair with your tormenter.  You profess to love Reeda yet on the night of the murder you were with Wilma where you incapacitated her with booze and pills to provide yourself with an alibi just so you could sneak off and do Crane in. 

Emmanuel, you mishandled Crane with your meaty tomb and sharpened red stiletto and did him in. 

NB: credit goes to Syd  for the loan of the yellow chap with the magnifying glass.

Only thing you will have got right

*books cab to station*

I did all that and deleted it

Is anyone still here? It took me a while to read that 

that was a silly thing to do now wasn't it 

I have just  accused one person

Filling in until Eileen can get here  besides you should have known from last year that I always  do long, comprehensive summations 

So did Roxy. You didn't read it all did you?

 Reeda will you wait for me?....while I finish reading Roxys tomb

Good going cos only one person did it

 If it's in English that will be good enough!

Even if you are completely wrong.....you deserve to win for that!

no - i meant i didn't go through every character -

ooooooo never mind