ive text a proper psycho ex when out with a mate, saying i was home-the nutter had followed me

we didnt last

and on a night out with then partner of about a month

i met someone else, whispered, but cos i was in a nightclub,loud music, i must've shouted

'lets sneak out & go somewhere else'

next thing i know, ive got a foot in the back of my knee, so my leg gave way & i fell on the floor

my mates were in bits

this one is a bit bad-but dont judge me-i was younger...

took a girl to pub in the afternoon, we got very drunk, i started dancing (yes dancing) with this fit girl

my girl walked out in a proper huff

i chased after her, caught up & said 'have you got a pen so i can get this girls number?'

oh how bad is that

 Pirate, you do make me laugh!

My dating days are so long ago, I can't remember anything!

Haha Pirate

Many years ago I left the then boyfriend in my bed when I went to work. Feeling pretty fed up with him I scribbled on the nearest bit of paper that he should leave his key and not come back.

That nearest bit of paper was a Sticky Fingers album cover, with the zip. I daren't check ebay to see how much that flounce cost me!

It did not go well the night I took Cheryl Cole out for chicken in a basket.

Oh jeez, don't let on to Crunchy

Well, I will not be posting bail. 

Yes, on catchup, still got some to watch. Last one I saw was the Deborah Meaden one.

My mate would go out with her husband

She said he'd regularly get up and dance on his own - soon ending up with no shirt.

Often he'd dance with another woman - knowing his wife could see.

Sometimes he'd come back to their table with a stranger and introduce her as his new girlfriend.

Since you ask and I'm going back over fwarty years like.

I returned home from University one Friday night and my Mum said that my best friend's sister was trying to contact me. She was a stunner. I couldn't believe my luck when she asked me to accompany her to a local young farmers dance. She was all over me like a rash. In the words of the noted philosopher Ian Dury, "A seasoned up hyena, could not have been more obscener!" Too good to be true. She was using me to persuade her boyfriend (who apparently was observing the proceedings) to show some sort of committment. They are still happily married and rather awkwardly live on the other side of the green from my Mum.

There were a couple of other incidents where girls would jump ship for the man of their dreams. Of course women are like that! Constantly shopping!