I used to be a medium\clairvoyant, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

booooooooooooooo LOL

You fraud! Someone should write a play about you and your supernatural pretensions!  

Indeed!  

I have an idea this chap should be involved. 

Definitely, Xochi.  Give the thing a bit of class, don't you know!

£25 a go for six 

line up, I'll do it for a fiver 

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

Oh, and that so is you 

I had my palm read twice - once by a "gypsy" in a tent thing in Blackpool. Hilarious 

The second time it was in a run down old house in Talbot St, Dublin. Went there with Uni friends just for the heck of it. It was so dim inside I wondered how she could see the palm lines. She was spookily accurate though. Still can't figure it out 

They're a load of scammers and rogues i.m.o. but maybe one in a thousand has a gift?

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  You're a natural Dame  

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

I know Rosie, my talent is wasted 

I seen it in me ball, now away and pay up 

It's not the talent she was born with though 

*Needs evidence of said ball* 

my reputation in on Silloth beach front will never recover 

*Snorts* 

*I'm not asking* 

I've had many in my tent 

Can anyone read mine?  

*Still says nowt* 

yes...you have a fecking big hand  and had an accident resulting in you losing a digit 

You appear to be very fuzzy, and I cannot map out the future for you 

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

We does wot we can 

You's odd!! 

just saying like it is...Ells plonks this great big pink mitt down and I can't fine a line to read 

Hippos are lineless creatures

I got scared the last time I saw one - my friend is very into these people and paid for me to be read as a birthday present - didn't feel I could say no.

Anyhoo she asked me if I was clairvoyant  so I said no I have no 6th sense and don't speak to dead people.  She insisted I was and that I'm not seeing the dead because my third eye is shut and I need to sit in a circle in a spiritualist church and it will open  and apparently I'm a rainbow child whatever that is.

She told me nowt about myself mind 

Depends how old they are........like ellyfants