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lisa has gone to to someones house to see one tonight

clairvoyant only allows 6 people she can 'read'

i remember going to pub to meet lisa & had a reading-cost a tenner-you lot said it was a load of bollox what bloke said & youre probably right

anyway

i thought to myself-this bird only earns tenner each off 6 people

not bad really-£60 for a couple of hours work

nah

she charges £25 per person

meaning its £150 per house call tax free

sh!t

im in the wrong job

i also said the old joke to lisa

'if she laughs at any point-punch her'

lisa said 'why?'

i said

'my Mom always said you should strike a happy medium'

Replies sorted oldest to newest

I used to be a medium\clairvoyant, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

Madame Arcati
Originally Posted by Madame Arcati:

I used to be a medium, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

booooooooooooooo LOL

pirate1111
Originally Posted by Madame Arcati:

I used to be a medium\clairvoyant, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

You fraud! Someone should write a play about you and your supernatural pretensions!  

Xochi
Originally Posted by Xochi:
Originally Posted by Madame Arcati:

I used to be a medium\clairvoyant, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

You fraud! Someone should write a play about you and your supernatural pretensions!  

Indeed!  

Madame Arcati
Originally Posted by Madame Arcati:
Originally Posted by Xochi:
Originally Posted by Madame Arcati:

I used to be a medium\clairvoyant, (quite a successful one, too).  But I found trade dropped off quite a bit after I put a notice in the local newspaper cancelling a meeting 'due to unforeseen circumstances'

You fraud! Someone should write a play about you and your supernatural pretensions!  

Indeed!  

I have an idea this chap should be involved. 

 

Xochi

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

FM
I had my palm read twice - once by a "gypsy" in a tent thing in Blackpool. Hilarious 

The second time it was in a run down old house in Talbot St, Dublin. Went there with Uni friends just for the heck of it. It was so dim inside I wondered how she could see the palm lines. She was spookily accurate though. Still can't figure it out 

 

They're a load of scammers and rogues i.m.o. but maybe one in a thousand has a gift?

FM
Last edited by Former Member
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  You're a natural Dame  

FM
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

FM
Last edited by Former Member
Originally Posted by Roger the Alien:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  You're a natural Dame  

 

I know Rosie, my talent is wasted 

Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Roger the Alien:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  You're a natural Dame  

 

I know Rosie, my talent is wasted 

It's not the talent she was born with though 

FM
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
 

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

 

I seen it in me ball, now away and pay up 

*Needs evidence of said ball* 

FM
Originally Posted by Sprout:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
 

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

 

I seen it in me ball, now away and pay up 

*Needs evidence of said ball* 

 

 

 

Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
 

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

 

I seen it in me ball, now away and pay up 

*Needs evidence of said ball* 

 

 

 

*Snorts* 

FM
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
 

It's not the talent she was born with though 

 

my reputation in on Silloth beach front will never recover 

*I'm not asking* 

FM
Originally Posted by Sprout:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:

I once went to one of those nights.....wasn't booked, but went to keep peeps company and for the drinks and nibbles (as you do) 

 

One of my workmates went to have hers done and the CV picked up on me being there......she said to my workmate......tell her to book with me, I have something to tell her.....I never did cos I never got the chance 

 

 

I'll tell you yours...you have come to a fork in the road and you are having problems with noisy neighbours, this will end shortly  Come December its time to make decisions and I foresee a break from the workplace....I claim my five pounds

  Oh! *Wonders how you know this* 

 

Baz
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Ells:

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

 

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

You's odd!! 

FM
Originally Posted by Sprout:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Ells:

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

 

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

You's odd!! 

 

 

just saying like it is...Ells plonks this great big pink mitt down and I can't fine a line to read 

Dame_Ann_Average
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Ells:

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

 

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

Hippos are lineless creatures

Ells

I got scared the last time I saw one - my friend is very into these people and paid for me to be read as a birthday present - didn't feel I could say no.

 

Anyhoo she asked me if I was clairvoyant  so I said no I have no 6th sense and don't speak to dead people.  She insisted I was and that I'm not seeing the dead because my third eye is shut and I need to sit in a circle in a spiritualist church and it will open  and apparently I'm a rainbow child whatever that is.

 

She told me nowt about myself mind 

FM
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Sprout:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Ells:

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

 

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

You's odd!! 

 

 

just saying like it is...Ells plonks this great big pink mitt down and I can't fine a line to read 

FM
Originally Posted by Ells:
Originally Posted by Dame_Ann_Average:
Originally Posted by Ells:

You lot are shit.  I ain't paying you!!  

 

how rude, it would help if you had some lines instead of flopping a big pink thing on me ball 

Hippos are lineless creatures

Depends how old they are........like ellyfants 

FM
Originally Posted by Pengy:

I got scared the last time I saw one - my friend is very into these people and paid for me to be read as a birthday present - didn't feel I could say no.

 

Anyhoo she asked me if I was clairvoyant  so I said no I have no 6th sense and don't speak to dead people.  She insisted I was and that I'm not seeing the dead because my third eye is shut and I need to sit in a circle in a spiritualist church and it will open  and apparently I'm a rainbow child whatever that is.

 

She told me nowt about myself mind 

FM

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