This letter was sent to Dr. Laura that is sarcastically agreeing with her about the rules of the Bible.
Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. On her radio show recently she said that as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as thought provoking.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learnt a great deal from your show and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it is an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies only to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know I’m not allowed contact with a woman during her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I tried asking, but got biffed across the chops for my trouble.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. The odour annoys the hell out of them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that although eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, he feels it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but can I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Your learned expertise in these testing matters would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
Replies sorted oldest to newest
I love it when religious nuts get challenged.
That's brilliant.
I play a game on a website where many bible belt Americans play, I would like to post it there, but fear they would hunt me down and crucify me.
Originally Posted by Cinds:
That's brilliant.
I play a game on a website where many bible belt Americans play, I would like to post it there, but fear they would hunt me down and crucify me.
I've also shared it with a friend in the US who manages her own Yahoo Group. One of her members posts Bible quotes several times a day, the other members don't reply to any of them. My friend's a bit nervous about posting it in case it leads to heated discussion with her but knowing my friend she's up for the challenge lol
Brilliant! Some very good points raised there 
I personally am for gay marriage, i think thaif love is love and if 2 pele want to marry they should be allowed to. Being gay doesn't make them bad people and god loves us all..
i am not sure about gay marriage, myself.
I am fully in favour of civil partnerships and gay couples having the same rights as any other couple.
however, the church has it's own rules and codes of conduct, and if you want to be married in a church then you really have to accept their code and beliefs.
we all know it is against the beliefs of the church to sanctify gay marriage, so if you are a member of the church, why would you want it?
Originally Posted by ~Sweet game, set & match~:
Brilliant! Some very good points raised there
I personally am for gay marriage, i think thaif love is love and if 2 pele want to marry they should be allowed to. Being gay doesn't make them bad people and god loves us all..
Totally agree. If two people want to be togethether because of the love they feel for each other they should be allowed to express that through a ceremony if they wish to regardless of whether they're so called straight or gay...so many labels
hmm my reply got sent before I'd finished lol. Anyway... people have so many labels for whatever reason. For me if two people love each other and feel that strong connection why should anyone else object to their wishes of union. Only time tells whether any wedding ceremony/civil partership ceremony is lasting for any couple.
Brilliant...would love to see the answer
Originally Posted by jacksonb:
i am not sure about gay marriage, myself.
I am fully in favour of civil partnerships and gay couples having the same rights as any other couple.
however, the church has it's own rules and codes of conduct, and if you want to be married in a church then you really have to accept their code and beliefs.
we all know it is against the beliefs of the church to sanctify gay marriage, so if you are a member of the church, why would you want it?
At the moment, they are talking about civil marriages. Religions can still have their own rules, even if they ignore those which don't suit them, as we see in the OP.
However, there are many religious people who also happen to be gay. They will have many more years of trying to persuade their own religious communities to drop their objections and accept them, as they are (or as God made them, if you believe). One of our gay friends is living with a Church of England vicar. I presume the congregation all know about it, and accept it. 
Currently in the UK, the row is about bringing in legislation to make the church offer gay wedding services.
We already have the civil partnership laws.
I suppose I can't see why gay people would belong to a church that doesn't accept them.
That's not about religion or faith, it's about the man made church, and some one else's interpretation of the old texts.
Originally Posted by jacksonb:
Currently in the UK, the row is about bringing in legislation to make the church offer gay wedding services.
We already have the civil partnership laws.
I suppose I can't see why gay people would belong to a church that doesn't accept them.
That's not about religion or faith, it's about the man made church, and some one else's interpretation of the old texts.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18405318
The Home Office said it had made it clear that "no religious organisation will be forced to conduct same-sex marriages as a result of our proposals".
The churches, as well as other religious organisations, are worried that this will lead to people challenging this in the courts, but that is not what the new proposals are saying.
The point is, some people, gay, or not, want their religions to move into the 21st century, as many have regarding the other stupid rules. They don't feel that they should have to start up their own institutions, in order to achieve equal status. Most Catholics, in this country, completely ignore the 'no contraception' rule. The priests must know it, but everyone ignores it and carries on. With gay marriage, it would be a little more difficult to turn a blind eye!
it's probably because i'm an atheist, that i have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to join a club where they fundamentally disagree with the premise that the club is built on.
Originally Posted by jacksonb:
it's probably because i'm an atheist, that i have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to join a club where they fundamentally disagree with the premise that the club is built on.
Yes, probably.
The thing is, some gay people have been brought up in a religion, sincerely believe in it and don't believe that God is against them. So, it's not a case of them joining the club, but, rather, not feeling that they should be chucked out.
and that's where i also have a problem, religion and faith to me are entirely different to the church.
no one needs a church to have a faith.
you can be a christian without being part of a church.
so if the church doesn't like or accept you, then why bother with it at all?
Originally Posted by jacksonb:
and that's where i also have a problem, religion and faith to me are entirely different to the church.
no one needs a church to have a faith.
you can be a christian without being part of a church.
so if the church doesn't like or accept you, then why bother with it at all?
Well, of course, anyone can leave and still have their faith, but the question is, why should they?
The 'church' is meant to be the community, not the building, or the institution. If Christians have a read of the New Testament, they will see that Jesus rebelled against stupid rules. If the Church of England wasn't concerned with keeping the worldwide Anglican communion together, I think they would be much further along the road to ditching this discriminatory stance.