quote:

Originally posted by Towno :

quote:

Originally posted by Sunnie:

Agreed. I don't think my mum likes me in the same bed as my husband now lol.
However, you are completely right and I do always try and have succeeded up to now, this has put a right fly in my ointment.

You sound lovely - I'm sure you and your son will come to some mutual understanding (where he agrees to back down and do what he's told lol).

Maybe he's just trying to test you and see what he can get away with. The problem with the young uns these days is that they are too keen to be on a fast forward into naughties imho.

What a worry!

How would he feel if your husband had a chat with him? Is he feeling you out cos you're the softer option so he wants to get you on side?

I'm off home soon, but good luck with this one x

Thanks Towno

I rang his dad (who said no straight away) and was surprised that he didn't already know or been asked. I would have thought he would have tried to get him on side first. Dad makes the small decisions and I make the big ones in my house so he knew it was a biggie to text right away to me.

quote:

Originally posted by Skylark24:

quote:

Originally posted by Suzi-Q:
I was telling my husband last night that teenagers should be locked in their rooms and never let out until they are 21. It should be the law.

i agree

I agree too!!

Show him a Kali's Teeth Bracelet and tell him he will have to wear one, if he wants her to sleep over.

quote:

Originally posted by Blizzie:
Show him a Kali's Teeth Bracelet and tell him he will have to wear one, if he wants her to sleep over.

Cheers Blizz, will get one for hubby too

quote:

Originally posted by Sunnie:

Cheers Blizz, will get one for hubby too

Im sorry I cant help hun since I have no kids of my own, Im sure the mothers with teenagers can help you...

quote:

Originally posted by pretty~cocoa~eyes:
Im sorry I cant help hun since I have no kids of my own, Im sure the mothers with teenagers can help you...

Thanks Pretty

I feel a bit better now and a bit stronger, I'm not going straight home tonight which is good, give him time to talk to his dad (I'm hoping).
First am going to ask about her parents and start from there.

Some great advise on here for you

I can't believe he'd be even capable of doing anything *coughs*... ..yer know..I mean underneath the same roof as your parents ..

Best of luck

Oh gawd Sunnie I feel for you, my son never asked for girlfriends to stay and when I brought the subject up one time he said it was because he respected us too much,( more like he did'nt want to hear him getting down and dirty).. ..But on the other hand my nephew did ask us but he was 19 and she was nearly 17 and we allowed it because of the distance..Can you get in touch with her parents as he could be blagging you and she's told them she's staying at a girlfriends....

quote:

Originally posted by Perones:
Some great advise on here for you

I can't believe he'd be even capable of doing anything *coughs*... ..yer know..I mean underneath the same roof as your parents ..

Best of luck

Oh trust me they do. My son is 19 and his girl is 18. I just turn the TV up.

Oh bloody hell .... and they say kids get easier as they get older ..... It's just not true, is it

Whatever you decide to do in this situation, stick with it & don't be cajoled into changing your mind. 'Firm but Fair' ... that is the key

Good luck

Have you spoken to the girl's parents about the staying over bit as they may be led to believe that it is ok with you. You must stick to your guns though and not give in - kids under your roof (no matter what age) must have boundaries. They will appreciate you for it in later life.

Bringing kids up is the hardest job in the world. Good Luck xxx

ohhh here you go plan

say ok well if this is going to happen we need to have a family get together with her parents...and the two of you have a birds and bees chat and a contreceptive show n tell......ask im his intentions and her history.....


that should set them in to embaresment enough never to warrent asking again pproblem solved.....

hope your feeling a bit stronger and better ....

Let her stay but insist separate rooms, and then lock him in his.

hi Sunnie xxx

I would be more concerned about having a total stranger coming into my house tbh. You don't know her from Adam, and you only have your son's word for it that she is ok. You should be given the opportunity to make your own mind up about her by meeting her first. It is moving at the speed your son wants, but you have to put the brakes on for him as he is only fifteen. Sunnie, I would say no this time but invite her over ASAP to meet her. You will be able to make a judgment if she is the sort of girl you would want your son to associate with. The sex thing would happen anyway even if she didn't stop over, if that is what they want to do. Separate rooms is a given if she stays at your house in the future.

Good luck Sunnie

quote:

Originally posted by loislane:
Himself & girlfriend have some "plans" made for friday night. That's why he's angry, with you saying no it makes him look foolish in front of his girlfriend. It sounds to me they are planning to get hot & heavy very fast. Only my opinion.

That's where the anger is coming from.

I think a condoms and chlamydia talk is on the cards ... but perhaps not until the stayover has been sorted.

hope everythings ok sunnie and its all sorted out happily.

Oh Sunnie, what can I say? My youngest son hasn't reached that stage yet. It would seem tho that there is an awful lot of peer pressure on youngsters today As you have never met this girl really (imo) doesn't come into the equation, if she regularly came to tea for 2 months you still wouldn't be happy for them to share a room. I know if they want to have sex they will find a way, but if you agree you are condoning illegal going on's. I'd let her stay after getting to know her, but still insist they have seperate rooms and strategically place drawing pins all over the landing.

Wait until Thursday night and then kick him in the nuts in a terrible, unexpected accident sort of way. That should get over the immediate crisis anyway.

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:
Wait until Thursday night and then kick him in the nuts in a terrible, unexpected accident sort of way. That should get over the immediate crisis anyway.

but then he might want her to, uhh never mind

Hi All, Thanks ever so much for the advice and stuff, gonna ask for some more later on last night's events but want a coffee first.
Cheers again

So when I got home I took Son out into the garden for a chat. He wasn't happy but wasn't as openly nasty as earlier, just distant.
I explained calmly how I felt and put together all the reasons of the why's and wherefore's of why it wasn't appropriate. I didn't need the sex chat because we have had that and watch Embarressing bodies and The Sex Education Show together but wanted to bring home to him the fact we haven't even had a girl for tea let alone in the house overnight.
That conversation was uneventful from him anyway and he wandered off without saying much.
Hubby came and sat in the garden with me then because we hadn't acually had a chance to sit and talk about it and he did point something out that made me feel a bit better. After Son's birthday he went to our neighbours to say thanks for his card and gift and their daughter was ironing in the kitchen with just her bra on. When he came back in he said Sasha hugged me IN HER BRA! We did take the mickey a little and he took it in good spirits and when I saw Sash she said he went all red and didn't know where to put his hands! So after reminding me of that and the fact he's our son and not Ron Jeremy I felt a little better.
A little later he came down and asked if she could come to tea and stay the evening tonight, I said yes and he asked if I could take her home about 21.30. I said that was fine, he also said he was going round to hers to meet her mum on Thursday. I did reiterate that just because he got 2 parent visits sorted it didn't change my mind for Friday night.
I came upstairs for BB at 10 and within minutes he was sat with me, I knew things were better between us because he wanted play Knuckles with me. (lol)
He said that she had text him in the morning and suggested it and I tried to say to him they should be planning a trip to the cinema or roller disco not planning an overnight stay in his room and about 10 minutes in to the convo he said, I know, mum. While I had his attention and a glimmer of understanding I, again, tried to talk to him and he genuinely seemed to get it.
Anyway, I'm real nervous about tonight and the fact that she has now turned (in my mind) to some sort of Jordanesque type character.
Holy cow, this has turned into some sort of online therapy, it's good to get it all out.

Sunnie, i'm glad you've sorted it out with your boy. Let us know what she's like after the visit?

I'm chuffed you've been able to speak to him and sort things out (for now at least).

He sounds lovely! I'd be more worried about 'Sash' in her undies LOL.

It's funny how you've imagined his gf to be some sort of temptress - you'll have to fill us in on what she's really like.

Perhaps when you take her home you could say hi to her folks?

Thanks, yeah I will let you know, it's good to jot it down, puts it in order in my mind too.
It's weird how she has manifested herself to me, my head is till whizzing with it all and I'm dead nervous.

Sunnie, you sound like you have a lovely relationship with your son.
I'm glad talking sensibly has done the trick - you've obviously brought him up in an atomosphere of mutual respect, and he seems to have respected your view and realised that, in some areas, grown-ups really do know best!

quote:

Originally posted by Demantoid:
Sunnie, you sound like you have a lovely relationship with your son.
I'm glad talking sensibly has done the trick - you've obviously brought him up in an atomosphere of mutual respect, and he seems to have respected your view and realised that, in some areas, grown-ups really do know best!

Cheers for that, I don't think it's over at the moment but I don't feel as desperate as yesterday, that feeling was horrible.
The proof is in the pudding as they say, I just hope he doesn't get given too much pudding too quickly...

quote:

I came upstairs for BB at 10 and within minutes he was sat with me, I knew things were better between us because he wanted play Knuckles with me. (lol)

....this bit made me laugh Sunnie.

It's sounds like the situation is being sorted
Sunnie.

Kids eh......

Reading through it seems you have it sorted now
I would say that (as a 19year old girl) not being able to stay over wouldn't have stopped any sexytime plans, they just wouldn't have been as comfortable.

quote:

Originally posted by RZB:

quote:

I came upstairs for BB at 10 and within minutes he was sat with me, I knew things were better between us because he wanted play Knuckles with me. (lol)

....this bit made me laugh Sunnie.

It's sounds like the situation is being sorted
Sunnie.

Kids eh......

Indeed.

My son is one of them kids never happier or loving you more til he's play fighting with you.
When he puts his hand under my neck I make this noise
ACCKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH
and he loves it, lol.

@ Trix_ster.

Not being comfortable is a big part of my plans

what a great mum you are sunnie.

Well done Sunnie, sounds like you handled the whole situation really well.

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:
Wait until Thursday night and then kick him in the nuts in a terrible, unexpected accident sort of way. That should get over the immediate crisis anyway.

ROFPMSL!! That just made me spit my tea all over the pooter screen.

quote:

Originally posted by Demantoid:
Sunnie, you sound like you have a lovely relationship with your son.
I'm glad talking sensibly has done the trick - you've obviously brought him up in an atomosphere of mutual respect, and he seems to have respected your view and realised that, in some areas, grown-ups really do know best!

Couldn't have put that better myself. Well handled Sunnie, your son sounds like a nice lad.

Thanks Everyone, you have given me so much great advice and support I genuinely do feel better.
Not saying at 5 when I have to go home and meet her I won't be nervy though cos I will.
to you all xx

I'm away to see Miss Whiplash, see you all later

Good luck Sunnie.

i have to keep this bumped as i want to know how you have got on and how ickle miss temptress was ....or was she sweetness and light ..ill recall this thread in 5 yrs!!!

*whispers I'm here now! She's here too. She's absolutely dinky! My son is almost 6 ft and she can't be more than 5ft2! Appears very sweet and said all the right things, nice to meet you etc...
She's not staying to tea cos she has to be home by 8 to do some coursework which has pleased me.
The insistence on staying the night doesn't really fall into place at the mo, I need to speak to Son really, can't wait to get him to myself!
On a good note I asked him to make a jug of juice for them and slipped in you get thirsty when snogging and he said he hadn't kissed her yet. Phew!
I just don't know what to think, I certainly need to know more.
To be continued....

quote:

@ Trix_ster.

Not being comfortable is a big part of my plans

I thought stopping them might have been in the plan too though
Glad the evening seems to have gone ok