Thinking of you Ditty

thank you...   and I am so sorry about your MIL Sweet..    

 

I hope you & Mr Summer & the rest of the family are holding up xxx 

Ditto ............don't know what else to say. Been there myself (with my Dad) and .....worst time of my life.

 

Just remember.

 

 

 

Thank you Ditty it's been awful, but we somehow just got on with things and made sure we did everything we could. It's so sad, but she's not suffering any more and she passed peacefully, that's a comfort. I know things are terrible for you right now, I wish there was some way I could make it all better how has your mum been today?

Sooz, you find the loveliest pics

Ooooh so sorry didn't realise about you MiL Sweet 

 

Horrible time for you and Mr Sweet .......thinking of you too.

Thanks Sooz I didn't want to say anything in Ditty's thread, It should be about her. I honestly didn't expect MIL to pass away the same day that I posted in here, I thought she had a few weeks left yet Hope you healed well after the pain of losing your dad x

thinking of you ditty having the support of friends who care means so much at times like these

She's still lucid, but she's not as perky as yesterday...   she's v tired, but she is not in pain at the moment & relatively comfortable - thank god for the all singing & dancing hospital bed they have provided for us, we'd be really struggling against pressure/bed sores otherwise. 

 

Though she seemed weaker today, she also seemed more at peace & ..  well not content so much, but yeah, she didn't look scared, or confused or suddenly startled today.    Just more tired than before..     and her appetite is dwindling rapidly..    Ickle baked a coffee cake & took it up there with us..    was a good move..   she does still like a bit of cake. 

 

Dad is still on a manic panic of denial..     he's hard work tbh..    its like having childrens tv playschool presenter in the room....    & yeah, I know..   I know why he's like this..    but he's getting to be quite wearing.

 

My arse of a brother left to go into his office today, saying he would be back later..  & I knew he wouldn't..   I knew as soon as he got out of town he'd not come back.   Sure enough..   rang saying he'd be back at the weekend..   will believe it when I see it.

 

Me..  I'm doing ok today..   it helps that Mum is comfortable.   and seemed calm..    

 

I feel a sort  of numbness to it all today...   I know it won';t last..   but I'm happy to have the numbness..     numbness works for me  

 

Schmurf..   yeah..   I know..   friends (& my family, as in hubby & kids) have held me up throughout all this..    thank god for em..      without them I would be as mental as the others..    

oh..   oh..   I hope I am..     sometimes I feel I am..   but sometimes I don't xxx

 

am just letting myself go with it now..   I can't stop it, change it, there are limits to how much I can do to help..    so am just going with it

That's the best way to approach it Ditty take it as it comes

I so feel for you Ditty ,one day at a time is all you can do .

Take care

Just seen this post (dunno how I missed it before)... 

 

Sweet..   and anybody else..   seriously..    its fine..    please don't feel any of you can't post stuff on account of it being "my thread"..   

 

I can't put into words how bizarre I think it would be if I felt territorial about this thread..    words of comfort & support for someone else take nothing away from me..     we don't have a finite amount of it to give out..      if you've been through it, are going through it, think you're about to go through it..    and you want to post about it..   then please do xxx

Thanks ditty you're lovely

Sorry to hear that sweet

Ditty  

I bought my dad a gadget to convert his 35mm slides to pc photos for his bday in May..    

 

he has boxes & boxes of them..      We scanned a few that weekend, though haven't done any of the others yet (its a future project to keep him amused..   I'd always intended it to be)..  

 

But..   one of the pics scanned was this.   I have never seen this pic before..  it was taken in 1967, 3 years before they had me, they'd been married 2 years.  Mum was 20, Dad was 23..   they drove down to the South of France with another couple and camped for two weeks..     I love this pic so much...    and its the only time ever that I have been able to see myself in my Mum.    

 

 

(excuse the dodgy metaphorically suggestive fountain thing in the background..  I was dead relieved when Zaph earlier informed me it looked like Lake Geneva..  phew..   a bona fide landmark..   )

Great picture Ditty.

It's a beautiful picture! How young they look....

I know..  they look like real people there... as opposed to "my parents" 

 

I have loads from that holiday..    I love them!    They look so happy!!  

 

shows ya what having kids does...   they never looked that young, carefree & happy in any of the photos after they had us! 

We forget out parents were young.

Great pic Ditty.

lovely pic 

Nor do any of us after we've "survived" having kids.

I'd never have believed mine were if I hadn't seen these pics 

 

after..  you know..  I am going to get my Dad to get our family tree written out..   all his family had businesses..   and its like a North of England version of Dallas..  all the drama & saga's..    brothers owning rival bakeries on the same street..    my Grand-dad, Dad & Uncle had a bronze foundry,  my Dads Uncle had a scrap metal yard..   some massive fallout including police & a stint in the nick for my dads cousin resulted in them setting up their own foundry attached to the metal yard..     

 

there are uncles who were a slightly different colour to the other siblings..  but it never being spoken about..     love triangles between sisters & a husband..   

 

I want it all documented..    I have never felt like this before..  never been that interested..    I must be getting old, cos now I really am interested.

Lovely pic of your Mum and Dad Ditty  

 

 

My deepest sympathies to you Sweet also xx 

ain't  that the truth 

 

MrD came into my family with a full head of dark brown hair..   two years later he had proper grey streaks, and it began receding ...   even his chest hair went silver!!!  

We like to blame Alfie for it 

 

 

He should have listened more closely to the bit of The Velveteen Rabbit I had read out at our wedding..   it did have a bit about "Loving all his fur off" 

Awwww...I love that you did that!!

 

My parents married when they were 18, and had kids at 19, 20, and 21. My dad started losing his hair at 20.... 

 

Triggs!!  !

From "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." 

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. 

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." 

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

oh god..  that is even funnier now that it was then..   

& bizarrely prophetic 

aww Summer, really sorry x

Never read that before ditty , ta for posting it xx

I haven't read it for years..  I forgot how much I loved it.

 

Right..    MrD is running around trying to herd Loki to bed..    and when Loki goes to bed, EVERYBODY GOES TO BED!

 

night you lot..   & thank you..    thank you for the lovely comforting posts..  & thank you for the slightly off topic letting me go off on a ramble posts 

 

xxx

I'm thinking this explains my husband's current condition perfectly. 

Night night Ditty  hope you can get some rest. Thank you for the lovely story - hadn't heard it before.

I love that quoted text Ditty very sweet x

 

Summer hope you and Mr Summer are doing as well as you both can xx

 

Ditty you saying anyone should post in here made want to post......

 

It's the anniversary of my moms funeral today (11th July 4 yrs) and all i can say is this is the first year i haven't felt it (as well as the day she died) approaching me like a wave, so when someone says it gets easier to handle they really do speak the truth. A lot of people  told me (a few on here) it gets easier, until now I didn't believe it could get this easy to feel her in my head without becoming a snappy hurt thing......but now I'm living proof of what they assured me. So to anyone going through this.... over time its the fun that sticks and the pain of losing them does fade... it still stings on occasion but on the whole it does become all about the smiles and very much less about the tears.

 

My heart really does go out to you Ditty, been there as you know and i take my hat off to you..... you might not think it but you are so strong!!

awww Jen...    I am so glad its starting to get easier for you      I know I'll be ok on the other side of all this..   maybe not straight away, but I am not afraid of the grieving & the healing...  

 

its this bit I struggle with..  

 

but you lost your mum v suddenly, and you were a lot younger than me, with a younger family..      it reminds me to be grateful that I've had my Mum for as long as I have..    in many ways her work is done here..    yes would have been nice if she could have had a few years to kick back & enjoy old age with my Pa..   but all those years when I was alone with my babies, or kids..   she was there -  I dunno how I would have done it without her 

 

Ditty that pic is beautiful! I'm so glad you found it

me too