quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thought i would start coming to terms with it now but i cant stop thinking about her
i miss my mum
when do you think i will start feeling better x

I think we never get over losing someone..we learn to live with it instead and we all deal with it in different ways, hence the diverse posts on here..the way one deals with a death may be completely different to anothers way of dealing with it..there are the staunch *right got to get on with it* and then there are the *I am finding it hard to cope*..so I have learnt to accept others ways of dealing with a death and taking note of the posts that I can relate too..its all about acceptance for me, if I opened a thread about my religous beliefs, I would accept the posts posted coz it is a public forum after all ..I hope you feel a little better soon, it is the grieving process you need to go through and it is early days yet

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:
I didn't even tell anyone when my Dad died. I did love him and stuff, but I thought I would laugh if I had to be serious.

I don't know how I'm going to react at the funeral. I shall try not to laugh

quote:

Originally posted by Tartanveggie:

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:
I didn't even tell anyone when my Dad died. I did love him and stuff, but I thought I would laugh if I had to be serious.

I don't know how I'm going to react at the funeral. I shall try not to laugh

I did feel bad when my mother died. I even took my piercing out to go to church. The bastard had healed up by the time I got home.

when my dad died it didn't really hit me til a week or so after......but then i didn't feel upset for long....and i was really close to him.....but i think it was just the person he was....he wouldn't of wanted us to be walking around crying and stuff....he always laughed about death.....so maybe that helped...

i'm not as close to my mum....maybe i'll feel different when the time comes i dunno...

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
he wouldn't of wanted us to be walking around crying and stuff

Yup. Mine wouldn't have wanted me to post angels x 10 million about them.

We're all different Spongey. I got upset the week before my dad died, watching someone dying is just awful.

And, Ross (first time I've called you that, I feel all grown up), you must be the fastest healer! Where was the piercing?

Bottom. Lip.

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
he wouldn't of wanted us to be walking around crying and stuff

Yup. Mine wouldn't have wanted me to post angels x 10 million about them.

oh christ no!!!!......my dad would of hated that.....he always said he wanted to be chucked on his compost heap to help his vegetables grow....

i think it'll hit my kids harder than me when my mum dies......

quote:

Originally posted by Tartanveggie:
We're all different Spongey. I got upset the week before my dad died, watching someone dying is just awful.

And, Ross (first time I've called you that, I feel all grown up), you must be the fastest healer! Where was the piercing?

of course tartan......my dad was really ill....and we knew it was coming......i just think how he was as a person maybe helped us when he died.......if that makes sense???

I was always terrified of losing my parents. That's the reason I left England tbh, long long long before I ever ended up in Brazil.

It was surprisingly easy when it did happen, but they did have a real evil sense of humour, the pair of them God love 'em

Probably why I get called out for being a c*nt so much

i know what you're saying ross....my dad was like that......i did get alot of 'god you must be feeling so bad' stuff....and the look of horror when i said 'no..actually i'm ok with it'.....

think i was marked as a heartless bitch!!!

but it's different strokes for different folks i think....

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
i know what you're saying ross....my dad was like that......i did get alot of 'god you must be feeling so bad' stuff....and the look of horror when i said 'no..actually i'm ok with it'.....

think i was marked as a heartless bitch!!!

but it's different strokes for different folks i think....

I was too. As recently as, ohhhh, a few hours ago jaja

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
i know what you're saying ross....my dad was like that......i did get alot of 'god you must be feeling so bad' stuff....and the look of horror when i said 'no..actually i'm ok with it'.....

think i was marked as a heartless bitch!!!

but it's different strokes for different folks i think....

I was too. As recently as, ohhhh, a few hours ago jaja

if that's the way you..or indeed i deal with it though...that's our choice.....doesn't mean we loved them less or anything....

a few hours ago????........

Moving swiftly on..... I'm not planning on dying soon you'll all be happy to know

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:
Moving swiftly on..... I'm not planning on dying soon you'll all be happy to know

THANKS BAGEL AND TARTAN

quote:

Originally posted by Bagel Queen:

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thought i would start coming to terms with it now but i cant stop thinking about her
i miss my mum
when do you think i will start feeling better x

I think we never get over losing someone..we learn to live with it instead and we all deal with it in different ways, hence the diverse posts on here..the way one deals with a death may be completely different to anothers way of dealing with it..there are the staunch *right got to get on with it* and then there are the *I am finding it hard to cope*..so I have learnt to accept others ways of dealing with a death and taking note of the posts that I can relate too..its all about acceptance for me, if I opened a thread about my religous beliefs, I would accept the posts posted coz it is a public forum after all ..I hope you feel a little better soon, it is the grieving process you need to go through and it is early days yet

feeling loads better this morning
bad day yesterday

That's a start.

i know
thanks

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:
That's a start.

I don't think you ever completely get over losing someone you loved deeply. It's been 20 years now since my dad died, and I still cried when I stood by his grave this year on the anniversary of his death. I remember clearly how horrible it was for the first couple of years after he had died, and how memories seemed to hide behind so many every day things and jump out to remind me that he wasn't there any more. But the pain does fade in time, and it will get better for you, Tina.

My mum died 35 years ago, my dad 25 years ago and I still think about them and miss them, but know that what they would want most is for me to be happy

quote:

Originally posted by Tartanveggie:

quote:

Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
i know what you're saying ross....my dad was like that......i did get alot of 'god you must be feeling so bad' stuff....and the look of horror when i said 'no..actually i'm ok with it'.....

think i was marked as a heartless bitch!!!

but it's different strokes for different folks i think....

That is so like me, Spongey! I'm totally fine. He'd been dying for 2 years, it's good that he's gone, not in pain etc. I'm glad you are on the forum this morning, I don't feel so guilty about my indifference now!

tartan....... ..you know what????......it's fine to feel how you're feeling......i remember my dad with a huge smile on my face....that's how he would of wanted it......

it doesn't have to be a wall of grief.....it doesn't mean you loved him less......people deal with death in different ways....there is no right or wrong xx

thanks Growlybear im starting to understand grieving a little better now thanks to you lot

quote:

Originally posted by Growlybear:
I don't think you ever completely get over losing someone you loved deeply. It's been 20 years now since my dad died, and I still cried when I stood by his grave this year on the anniversary of his death. I remember clearly how horrible it was for the first couple of years after he had died, and how memories seemed to hide behind so many every day things and jump out to remind me that he wasn't there any more. But the pain does fade in time, and it will get better for you, Tina.

Hi Tina

I lost my Dad 7 years ago this September. I am - was closer to my Dad than Mum. I miss him every day but I smile now when I think of him. Although there are times when my heart breaks.

I am moving to Toronto soon, so have been sorting loads of things out, that has been painfull as I came across his obituary in the paper that I kept ect.

All I can say is you never forget, it never stops hurting, but the pain eases, and you will feel better.

Take care sweet heart.

thanks dolly

quote:

Originally posted by **Dolly**:
Hi Tina

I lost my Dad 7 years ago this September. I am - was closer to my Dad than Mum. I miss him every day but I smile now when I think of him. Although there are times when my heart breaks.

I am moving to Toronto soon, so have been sorting loads of things out, that has been painfull as I came across his obituary in the paper that I kept ect.

All I can say is you never forget, it never stops hurting, but the pain eases, and you will feel better.

Take care sweet heart.

Nicklong, hope you're ok .

Hi Tina it has all been said in the above posts just like to add one day at a time, hope you are well take care

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
i am thanks for asking darlo your a good lad

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
Nicklong, hope you're ok .

You're welcome .

I haven't lost my mum, she died in 1993 she is with me everyday. I’m not going to pretend I know how you feel.

I know how I felt when my Darling Mum left me, but unless someone is going through the same pain,at the same time as you, for the same reason’s, no-one can feel the same as you.

Mum’s are Mum’s, my Mum used to come up with the most ridiculous
excuse’s to prevent me leaving the house when I was young…………….

Can’t go out with wet hair because you’ll get a head cold??
Don’t sit on a cold doorstep because you get worms??
Can’t iron on a Sunday, because the Virgin Mary will cry??
Also can’t iron on Christmas day because Jesus will cry??
If you ride a man’s bicycle you can get pregnant??
You have to drink cabbage water because it’s good for you and it makes you have curly hair??
(the cabbage had been boiling from 9am on a Sunday morning till 3pm on a Sunday afternoon waiting for my Dad to home from the pub)
She walked to school wearing Kellogg’s cornflake boxes on her feet because she had no shoes??

I could go on and on……………

The funny thing is, I actually repeat some of her saying’s to my boy’s (Fully grown Men)

I swear when I’m upset my Mum is with me, she wore a very distinctive perfume and when I’m having a moment,I can smell her, my husband thinks I’m mental, but I know she’s there.


Celebrate your Mum’s life, she hasn’t left you, she will be with you everyday until you meet again.
Mum’s do not give up easily, we are very controlling and have to interfere even from a distance, it’s our nature, nothing will ever be good enough for our boy’s or girls, even if we drive you to distraction.

thanks marg

quote:

Originally posted by Marguerita:
Hi Tina it has all been said in the above posts just like to add one day at a time, hope you are well take care

I feel your pain

quote:

Originally posted by Growlybear:
I don't think you ever completely get over losing someone you loved deeply. It's been 20 years now since my dad died, and I still cried when I stood by his grave this year on the anniversary of his death. I remember clearly how horrible it was for the first couple of years after he had died, and how memories seemed to hide behind so many every day things and jump out to remind me that he wasn't there any more. But the pain does fade in time, and it will get better for you, Tina.

The anniversaries and milestones are the worst.

The best way I can describe the grief as time passes is that it never stops hurting, but the sharp edges will get duller eventually.

thank you all