Right I don't like telling too much on forums etc.but my dad died in front of my eyes on his bed of a "Myocardial infarction" heart attack,he was 66,not that old really.It was a shock thought me and our family were coping well with it.It happened in February right through all the funeral stuff etc I did well.

Went back to work and coped ,well I thought I did,Come the start of May ,same year.I was walking in the centre of town,this awful feeling of total doom and panic came upon me.I had to flee home..I didn't know what was happening.

It really was the start of a depression that lasted a full year,I dropped weight down to 8 stone,because I could barely eat or drink.So for anyone else out there,seek help.

Bye the way I'm OK now.

I lost my mum 40 yrs ago when i was a child n my dad 5 yrs ago n i still miss them sssssssssssssssoooooooooooo much but it gets better.ok my dad was harder to get over not cos i loved him more but i believe kids get over death quicker

thats it all just what you said

quote:

Originally posted by *BB*:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tina:
thats what i dont understand i was back to normal for abit now im down again [QUOTE]

Many things can bring back memories without warning Tina. Things like hearing a particular piece of music, seeing a flower in bloom in the garden, birdsong in spring, smelling a scent or perfume when out shopping. All these and other things can trigger a memory, it all comes flooding back without warning and seems to start the grieving process up again.

It isn't though, it's all part of the grieving process and in time the sudden flashbacks and memories won't feel quite as raw and indeed will start to feel good. Just give yourself plenty of time. It's all quite natural.

quote:

thats it all just what you said

Stick in there Tina. One day they will turn into happy memories that will make you smile or bring along happy tears. It does take time though, and the timescale is different for each one of us.

quote:

 

Big hugs Tina

thanks jue

quote:

Originally posted by Aimee:

quote:

Originally posted by rosgirl:
I'm sorry but I have got to say I am absolutely SICK of replying in threads and being inadvertently part of what is going on here at the moment
I wish it would all stop because it is spoiling it for everybody else
Please let go of what has happened on the previous forum and move on

Forumming is supposed to be fun not all this arguing and back biting -I for one am tired of it

Sorry for the rant - but I find it upsetting when I am trying to sympathise with some body who is grieving

tina

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thought i would start coming to terms with it now but i cant stop thinking about her
i miss my mum
when do you think i will start feeling better x

It takes a different amount off time for everyone, you might not get over losing your mum
I am still getting used to knowing my grandad has died, I still keep expecting him to walk around that corner. It will be a year in june this year

i knew you lot would put a smile back on my face
thank you

for your grandad

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thought i would start coming to terms with it now but i cant stop thinking about her
i miss my mum
when do you think i will start feeling better x

It takes a different amount off time for everyone, you might not get over losing your mum
I am still getting used to knowing my grandad has died, I still keep expecting him to walk around that corner. It will be a year in june this year

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
for your grandad

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thought i would start coming to terms with it now but i cant stop thinking about her
i miss my mum
when do you think i will start feeling better x

It takes a different amount off time for everyone, you might not get over losing your mum
I am still getting used to knowing my grandad has died, I still keep expecting him to walk around that corner. It will be a year in june this year

Thanks Tina

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
Its all too much for me! first laydee di then jade! when will it all end>>>>>>???? *shaked fist at god?

In the croc pit, with your sorry arse put out of its misery perhaps

quote:

Thanks Tina

your welcome

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:
Hypermnesia, are you the same person who wanted a burial for their dad but your mum wanted a cremation?

Yes, that's me.

quote:

Originally posted by Hypermnesia:

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:
Hypermnesia, are you the same person who wanted a burial for their dad but your mum wanted a cremation?

Yes, that's me.

Did he get buried or cremated?
Hope it went as well as it could do

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:
Did he get buried or cremated?
Hope it went as well as it could do

Have a hug back, and thanks (jackles?)

He was cremated, the service was awful. I won't go into detail but my children (18,16,13) were distraught at how irrelevant it was to their Grandad. Can't change it though, so no point in me fretting.

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:
thats what i had last week in town

quote:

feeling of total doom and panic

It's ok,just your body telling your mind it's not coping,please go your doc,or to a bereavemt counsellor.

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

I doubt it! That would cost me like 80p and I figure you are only worth 15p. I have overheads you know....is there a social fund that can make up the difference?

quote:

Originally posted by Hypermnesia:

He was cremated, the service was awful. I won't go into detail but my children (18,16,13) were distraught at how irrelevant it was to their Grandad. Can't change it though, so no point in me fretting.

My Mums was the same....and the word 'Irrelevant' sprang to our minds too...the Vicar just liked the sound of his own voice....

But as you say, the memories are more important than a few words from a stranger.

quote:

Originally posted by Hypermnesia:

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Speedway:
Did he get buried or cremated?
Hope it went as well as it could do

Have a hug back, and thanks (jackles?)

He was cremated, the service was awful. I won't go into detail but my children (18,16,13) were distraught at how irrelevant it was to their Grandad. Can't change it though, so no point in me fretting.

Aww sad when its doesn't go well if that makes sense
No, you can't if we could I think we would
Yes, tis I jackles

My memories of my loved ones are their lives,what they did with me in my life,not some expected funeral ceremony.|That was their shell in that box,their life lived on through their families and our memories of them.Not the end of the body remains.

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

I doubt it! That would cost me like 80p and I figure you are only worth 15p. I have overheads you know....is there a social fund that can make up the difference?

Just ask the big man whilst you're praying for me. Duh.
I'll let you know if it hasn't materialised in front of me within the next 5 minutes - you can mibbes sell your backside (I'll make up the 5p).

I'll remember to post an angel for you if you burn your finger on it.

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

I doubt it! That would cost me like 80p and I figure you are only worth 15p. I have overheads you know....is there a social fund that can make up the difference?

Just ask the big man whilst you're praying for me. Duh.
I'll let you know if it hasn't materialised in front of me within the next 5 minutes - you can mibbes sell your backside (I'll make up the 5p).

Awwwwwww Sorry! I didn't realise you had dementia! You should have got your support worker to point it out! I wouldn't have thought of you as such a massive twat if I had known you had said....
Peace be with you

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Ross:
I'll remember to post an angel for you if you burn your finger on it.

On hooties arse?

Uhuh. Be a love and pass the 'I can't believe it's not songbird'

Tsk!

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

I doubt it! That would cost me like 80p and I figure you are only worth 15p. I have overheads you know....is there a social fund that can make up the difference?

Just ask the big man whilst you're praying for me. Duh.
I'll let you know if it hasn't materialised in front of me within the next 5 minutes - you can mibbes sell your backside (I'll make up the 5p).

Awwwwwww Sorry! I didn't realise you had dementia! You should have got your support worker to point it out! I wouldn't have thought of you as such a massive twat if I had known you had said....
Peace be with you

Oh my I hope you don’t mean that - cos I really shan’t sleep tonight.

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by Hootie McBoob:
I will pray for you and your salvation

Maybe you’d request me a pot noodle while you’re at it, I’m feeling rather peckish.

I doubt it! That would cost me like 80p and I figure you are only worth 15p. I have overheads you know....is there a social fund that can make up the difference?

Just ask the big man whilst you're praying for me. Duh.
I'll let you know if it hasn't materialised in front of me within the next 5 minutes - you can mibbes sell your backside (I'll make up the 5p).

Awwwwwww Sorry! I didn't realise you had dementia! You should have got your support worker to point it out! I wouldn't have thought of you as such a massive twat if I had known you had said....
Peace be with you

Oh my I hope you don’t mean that - cos I really shan’t sleep tonight.

I am praying so hard for you right now!
My knees are quite knackered now, I hope Jesus realises I was being nice fora sinner like you! If not I wouldn't have efffing bothered!
Like you would piss on me if I was on fire in the gutter!

Right I was trying to post to the Op,so give over with your petty squabbles etc.Right ,maybe I'm niave,but I hope she's genuine.

quote:

Originally posted by kattymieoww:
Right I was trying to post to the Op,so give over with your petty squabbles etc.Right ,maybe I'm niave,but I hope she's genuine.

Even if she is'nt, she posed a question...all we had to do was answer it. or not if we doubted her.

The best thing that worked for me, although it did take some time...

Was, would my mum want me to feel like this?

No.

Would my mum hate me if I moved on, and didn't cry of her loss every day, which by the way, I did for about six months.

No.

Its always going to be hard, but your loved one is at peace, and if there is a God, is looking down at you hoping that you don't forget her, but you learn to live your life again in her memory.

quote:

Originally posted by kattymieoww:
Right I was trying to post to the Op,so give over with your petty squabbles etc.Right ,maybe I'm niave,but I hope she's genuine.

Sorry.

My pot noodle hasn't materialised in any case, so I'm off to my bed. In the huff.

quote:

Originally posted by JasmineJ:

quote:

Originally posted by kattymieoww:
Right I was trying to post to the Op,so give over with your petty squabbles etc.Right ,maybe I'm niave,but I hope she's genuine.

Sorry.

My pot noodle hasn't materialised in any case, so I'm off to my bed. In the huff.

G'night then.

quote:

It's ok,just your body telling your mind it's not coping,please go your doc,or to a bereavemt counsellor

thanks i will do that hubby said i should

quote:

Originally posted by Tina:

quote:

It's ok,just your body telling your mind it's not coping,please go your doc,or to a bereavemt counsellor

thanks i will do that hubby said i should

Good night to you,

thanks all you have been fantastic

Oh, and Tanya, you could have bitched here instead of saying one thing to me and then taking it to Facebook

Facebook.. meh...

Oh it is beautiful. I shall treasure it. As long as the big girls let me that is....

So sorry Tina, and yes of course you are going to question how long this pain is going to stay with you, but the thing is everyone is different, so its very hard to say how long you will grieve. But my love, try to be strong for your family that you still have around you, but don't forget that you are still allowed to be upset and miss your mum and show it, you loved her.