Which now brings us to the last person in the line up and, therefore, the guilty party. I am sure that even you imbeciles have managed to deduce who it is and I am staggered to see that some of you had also seen through her ridiculous excuses. Never mind my dear, I shall ask the hangman if he has any tweed hoods to co-ordinate with your suit...
HAGATHA TWISTY As the world's most prolific mystery writer, you are well- known for your meticulous research and convoluted plots. So no one on SS Titanium was surprised to learn your new book would be set on a cruise ship. There were a few raised eyebrows, however, when it was discovered your book was about a Captain who gets shot on board his ship. Surely it couldn't be a coincidence? What would your motive be for wanting the Captain dead? Unlike all the other suspects, you had no deep dark secrets you were trying to protect. The only thing you were trying to protect was your reputation as the world's greatest crime writer, and in order to do that, you had to make sure your plot was watertight. You had to guarantee the murder in your book was feasible and that meant you had to try it for real. So you set your plan in motion. First, you needed a weapon - so you stole Dr Manoeuvre's gun when you were in his cabin earlier this afternoon. Then you waited for the right opportunity - when the Captain stepped out on deck for his evening smoke. Finally, you had to make sure no one would suspect you. That's where your sprained wrist came in. You couldn't possibly have used a gun after sustaining such a painful injury, especially not as you are right-handed. Therefore there's no way you could have shot the Captain. Unfortunately, you didn't count on the observant eyes of WILLET Fly, who happened to spot you writing with that very same wrist after you were supposed to have sprained it. If you could write, you could certainly point a gun and pull the trigger, which is exactly what you did. If only you hadn't been so desperate to write to your publisher with details of your latest plot, you might have got away with it. Of course, now you've been found out, at least you know the ending to your book.
Hagatha Twisty; you are guilty of the murder of Captain E Slost. May you live unhappily ever after!
you may end up under Vi...most other people have 
