and your dress maker should also visit Messrs Spec and Saver, she appears to have sewn the pearls into your cheeks and forehead

Let's hope the doc doesn't fall overboard, no man could swim with the weight of that thing on his back. 

your inflated duck could always save him

Darling, I think you must have some talcum powder or something on your goggles. My skin is absolutely perfect, darling. 

perhaps you should say yes yes to ze no no as your top lip has more fuzz zan mine 

*wipes goggles* strange!, I've not been anywhere near talc, I've just been to the bar and ordered a coke and no talc in sight.

that is a very expensive new invention that appears not to work *removes tweezers from helmet*

Du bist der Dorftrottel   ermm ermm ze village eediot yes zat is wot you are 

In my country, they would be diamonds

I shall retire to my bunk, I don't like being on the lower deck It took me 8 minutes to get to the top deck this morning, last night I was in the lower deck in 7.9 seconds, someone left some brogues out to be cleaned

I bid you all good night

Gute nacht dear laydee 

I shall retire myself dear peeople 

I could give you the number for my optician if you like

Thank you dear

I will when my sprained ankle is better.... not

Originally Posted by hagatha twisty:

I could give you the number for my optician if you like

Thank you dear

 

 

I can get you discount

How wonderful, darling, I mean, Your Highness. A girl does love diamonds, as I am sure you know. 

and botox

Bartender, darling, could you pour me a large brandy? I am awfully tired all of a sudden and I shall take this nightcap to bed with me. Not that it can replace my dearly beloved, you understand? Nothing could, darling.

*grabs brandy and wafts out of the bar and heads to cabin keeping an eye out for stray brogues and low flying ducks*

Good night, darlings 

What is botox, darling? Unless you have misspelt it, in which case, darling, yes they are.

a new invention to stop you frowning, in fact stop any facial movement

A bullet?

Bump

my absence was due to getting lost in the bowels of the ship evaluating evidence I will summarise this evening 

That'd wipe the smile off your face certainly

Hey Fanny, I enjoyed your company so much the other night I plum forgot to ask you How you got your job dancing on the SS Titanium?

and considering your family you mention to me I also wondered just what your poor deaf, blind mother and eleven brothers and sisters think of you dancing a a cruise ship?

*No wonder her mother is deaf and blind*

You sound awfully familiar with Ms Shaker

*Twerks up poop deck singing Yes Sir, That's My Baby*

evening darlings

*twerks into the brogues*

Are you itchy miss airhead? I think the ship's doctor could prescribe you something for that

Preparation H and if all else fails you can write to me at ze Londun Echo at Ask Heiny  

*wafts around the ship looking fabulous in peach crepe*

Ms Airhead, darling, whatever is the matter? Have you over indulged on the sprouts again?

Are you itchy miss airhead? I think the ship's doctor could prescribe you something for that

It's my new dance

Originally Posted by hagatha twisty:

Are you itchy miss airhead? I think the ship's doctor could prescribe you something for that

Preparation H and if all else fails you can write to me at ze Londun Echo at Ask Heiny  

is that Channel? she's all the crazy I hear