When i handed over the £3 i asked if they wanted a pint of blood too

Constant road works.

Just 3 yrs ago a bridge was strengthened in Gateshead.

They're doing it again!!!

 

MAJOR tailbacks everywhere

Took car for MOT

It failed

You need 2 new tyres for a pass

Have you got Michelin Energy?

No

Do you want primacy instead.

No thanx

We can try and get them

Oh ok

later . . .

That will be £200

Cue me ringing around to get a price match = £180

Ok £180 - come tomorrow

Tomorrow came

Can i have me tyres fitted

Yes - just waited an hour and a half.

What !!! I'll come tomorrow

Tomorrow came

I've come for me tyres

Oh - we put them on another car - can you come back

 

The tendency to try and crowbar the word 'Historic' into every event.

No names, no pack drill (and no one off here)   but certain peeps at the moment 

"The NHS is in crisis"

 

For the last 10yrs

 

I'm getting really irritated b y people (who seem to now number in the hundreds) who walk, not looking where they are going, but concentrating intently on their damn mobile phones.

 

Is it wrong that I always hope they trip over a manhole ???

Can't help it  

Oh, another one with the same thoughts as me..........no, it's not wrong 

Cold callers - we get them every day at our door.

 

He just said, "Hello, my name's Mark - what's yours?"

 

Really wanted to say,

"Janet - i'm mid way through a sex change ... what do ya think?"

That's a good response Sainty 

I got a call from a guy saying,

"You have problems with your laptop - we can help you"

 

So I said (and I really said this)

"Sorry i'm going into prison for 15years"

 

As calm as you like he replied,

"No you don;t understand - you have problems"

 

And i couldn't help but say,

"Yep - i murdered someone"

Moonie i kid you not - he never reacted LOL

Perhaps that answer wasn't on his computer questionnaire Sainty 

 reason for refusal . . life imprisonment

 

I love trying to get them off script, you can hear the terror in their voice as they get out of their comfort zone.

 

I like to ask them where the call centre is and then follow the answer up with "do you support your local footy team"? If they say they don't like football, I work my way through all the other sports I can think of, then move on to bands from their area. It's great when they try to get back on script 

 

I like to waste their time because I know it's costing the company. A great way to spend the evening when there is nowt on the tellybox.

  

Robots enhancing their bionics 

We feel your pain

Also its 3am and i'm wanting to go to bed and,

"Running 1 of 23 updates - do not unplug your computer"

YESSS!!!  raaahhhhhr!! 

I had 45 updates a while back 

 

 

Those EE adverts for 4G with Kevin Bacon.

Man are they irritating.

 

I've started reaching for the remote the minute they appear on TV.

when you give someone a lift in your car, you sit there chatting on to them,,, no reply.. glance over and they are glued to their mobiles...for the entire journey. Clearly you wont be wanting a lift anymore since I AM SO GODDAMN BORING... 

 

sorry but this really narks me, i get the urge to grab their phone & fling it out the window 

Privacy glass in cars - mainly the rear of cars.

Why? Are you a celeb or something? Why are you trying to hide??

All it does is make your car look dark n gloomy . . . and silly.

 

Grow up - your not that important to need to hide behind it.

That Red Cross advert,

"I'm the boiled sweet stuck in your child's throat"

Horrible!!!

I like them. I like Kevin Bacon.

me too 

In our lerkal paper, just before the Denise Welch page, ah seen an advert for dogs. They have these kennels knocking out pups. "Jackahuahuas, cockapoos, cavachons, shiranians?" They also have cavaliers crossed with Lhasa apso, but obviously that is beyond their creative minds.

I'm waiting for the day when someone brings out a Shitoo bark-bark

Ah St Renton! I took a fer-ter of a horse in a field with cows yesterday. As soon as I get near a PC I'll load it.

I like the conga train one when he starts backing it up.  Makes me chuckle.

Cyclists, head to toe in Lycra belting down the towpath (speed limit 5mph) scattering ducks, children and dogs....they are supposed to travel at a responsible speed, giving way to people and wildlife....do they feck

Horse AND cow sharing a field !!!!
Seriously??

I've heard of a peanut and a raisin collaborating in a bag for a sale but ...

Horse AND cow??

 

Have you seen the b lack guy behind him with the crazy eyes ?

 

 

New street lights