Interview for TV presenter.
"So can you shriek hysterically and show a ridiculous amount of interest in the most mundane topic to make a below average show a little more ... interesting?"
Have you heard of a comedy called HEBBURN?
Well it was on our cutting edge North East news the other day even though it was cancelled in 2014 
The story was about Hebburn FC going down the toilet due to low attendance "despite the TV series putting the town on the National and International map".
Yep they actually said that - what a load of rubbish
The creams cleared them up nicely
An oldie but a goldie
Apparently Atonement put Redcar on the International map.
It didn't
The Tall Ships went to Blyth
People in Poland and Belgium and Spain all know this.
Why?
Cos the local MP claimed the event had brought the town International attention
The fool
Celebrities who are present when a marriage proposal is made and then say "they want an invite" knowing full well they would never turn up.
I'm getting to the point where i'm going to refuse to go into Oak bloody Furnitureland
Oh!!
Saint posted:Oh!!
I had a good experience with Oak Furniture Land. 
Baz posted:And I've never used them ...hope that helps
Neither have I - it didn't help as I already have (red) pine furniture.
So much nicer than your common or garden pine furniture
Saint posted:Baz posted:And I've never used them ...hope that helps
Neither have I - it didn't help as I already have (red) pine furniture.
So much nicer than your common or garden pine furniture
I'm more of an American light oak person myself.
Those idiots who travel round a supermarket discarding items they no long want. It's especially annoying when you see perishables like milk dumped on a shelf in say the bread isle.
Why can't they put them back where they found them. Grrrrr.
Deliveroo people. They have to be the newest annoyance on the block.
They cycle down footpaths, motorcycle down footpaths, dump their cycles on footpaths, expect me to move over on footpaths so they can get to thier destination or pickup point. They take shortcuts which are dangerous.
Now they are usuing one of mine and many other members of the publics favourtie relaxation venue as a pkace to keep out of the weather and wait for their next pickup, not to mention a pkace to repair cycles.
So annoying that this week I directed one of them the wrong way.
I really do hate them.
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:
Those idiots who travel round a supermarket discarding items they no long want. It's especially annoying when you see perishables like milk dumped on a shelf in say the bread isle.
Why can't they put them back where they found them. Grrrrr.
Went shopping with a mate - she did exactly this!!!
I was horrified and picked her up on it
And she totally brushed my concern aside saying it was 'keeping them busy' 
FORAGING !!!
There are actually courses on how to forage
TESCO is full of food - leave what's available to our poor starving wild animals
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:
Those idiots who travel round a supermarket discarding items they no long want. It's especially annoying when you see perishables like milk dumped on a shelf in say the bread isle.
Why can't they put them back where they found them. Grrrrr.
That's one of my pet hates too EC 
Saint posted:Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:
Those idiots who travel round a supermarket discarding items they no long want. It's especially annoying when you see perishables like milk dumped on a shelf in say the bread isle.
Why can't they put them back where they found them. Grrrrr.
Went shopping with a mate - she did exactly this!!!
I was horrified and picked her up on it
And she totally brushed my concern aside saying it was 'keeping them busy'
Very thoughtless imo too Renton.....I mean how hard is it to walk back and put it in the right place ...
Saint posted:FORAGING !!!
There are actually courses on how to forage
TESCO is full of food - leave what's available to our poor starving wild animals
I read that as 'Faraging'.
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:Saint posted:FORAGING !!!
There are actually courses on how to forage
TESCO is full of food - leave what's available to our poor starving wild animals
LOL that would be epic.
Courses on how to find a Nigel.
Spring Bank Holiday 2013
Those of us who were brought up in the country always forage.
As one example they don't sell proper brambles in Tesco.
Garage Joe posted:Those of us who were brought up in the country always forage.
As one example they don't sell proper brambles in Tesco.
I need to forage otherwise I couldn't make my Bramble jelly.
Baz posted:Yogi19 posted:Garage Joe posted:Those of us who were brought up in the country always forage.
As one example they don't sell proper brambles in Tesco.
You're cooking poor little Bramble ! Does Sweet know ??
I wouldn't dream of it!
Remember PB's reaction to finding out about bacon coming from pigs, can you imagine if she thought I'd cooked Summer's Bramble to make jam?
Yogi19 posted:Baz posted:Yogi19 posted:Garage Joe posted:Those of us who were brought up in the country always forage.
As one example they don't sell proper brambles in Tesco.
Remember PB's reaction to finding out about bacon coming from pigs, can you imagine if she thought I'd cooked Summer's Bramble to make jam?
Surely pissy emails MUST be top of any list.
I get one every day. After six years in my job, I love to be told how to do my job daily, by admonishing emails by sanctimonious hypocrites!
I work for a firm that ostensibly prides itself on team spirit, cooperation and colleague support.
What my 'colleagues' who send me pissy finger wagging trivial emails don't realise is that their future instructions will be depriotised against colleagues who don't send me pissy emails.
They will get their stuff done, but not before those colleagues who have a bit of courtesy and empathy about them. And if it's late, well that's just tough ****ing shit!
May I also add those that have all the ideas but put bugger-all into action
People who write the nonsense we are expected to swallow,
"We are a forward looking company who's work ethic is second to none and owe it all to our staff" . . . by paying minimum wage no doubt
Baz posted:People who phone the landline at the crack of dawn, catapulting me out of bed thinking it must be something to do with my kids or grandkids ...only to find it's a scam call
Did you give them an ear bashing?!
Baz posted:People who phone the landline at the crack of dawn, catapulting me out of bed thinking it must be something to do with my kids or grandkids ...only to find it's a scam call
I always do this Baz.
"I'm quite embarrassed, you have just caught me on the loo. Could you hold for a minute while I finish up"?
I then quickly go to the kitchen, fill the kettle, make my way to the toilet and begin to pour (slowly) the contents of the kettle into the loo. Half way through I stop for about 10 seconds then start again.
Once you are well practiced you can make the contents of the kettle last quite some time.
Once the kettle is empty I pull the flush and tell them I am just going to wash my hands. This can take as long as you care to let the water run and make the sound of hand washing.
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:Baz posted:People who phone the landline at the crack of dawn, catapulting me out of bed thinking it must be something to do with my kids or grandkids ...only to find it's a scam call
I always do this Baz.
"I'm quite embarrassed, you have just caught me on the loo. Could you hold for a minute while I finish up"?
I then quickly go to the kitchen, fill the kettle, make my way to the toilet and begin to pour (slowly) the contents of the kettle into the loo. Half way through I stop for about 10 seconds then start again.
Once you are well practiced you can make the contents of the kettle last quite some time.
Once the kettle is empty I pull the flush and tell them I am just going to wash my hands. This can take as long as you care to let the water run and make the sound of hand washing.
I would normally EC , but an) I was only half awake , and b) they rang off
Baz posted:Yogi19 posted:Baz posted:People who phone the landline at the crack of dawn, catapulting me out of bed thinking it must be something to do with my kids or grandkids ...only to find it's a scam call
Did you give them an ear bashing?!
No, I never got the chance !!
Can Grand Designs ever get through a programme without using the word 'mezzanine' ?
Can Gardeners World ever get through a programme without using the word 'mulch' ?
Saint posted:Can Grand Designs ever get through a programme without using the word 'mezzanine' ?
Can Gardeners World ever get through a programme without using the word 'mulch' ?
No.
Can Homes Under the Hammer ever get through a programme without saying,
"This partition wall will have to go" and
"A downstairs bathroom is not a good selling point" and
"The changes have been completed to a high standard"
EastEnders,
"Can I have a word?"
"Well - go on then"
The News,
"NHS at crisis point"
SuperVet,
"This is as bad as it gets"
Saint posted:Can Homes Under the Hammer ever get through a programme without saying,
"This partition wall will have to go" and
"A downstairs bathroom is not a good selling point" and
"The changes have been completed to a high standard"
EastEnders,
"Can I have a word?"
"Well - go on then"
The News,
"NHS at crisis point"
SuperVet,
"This is as bad as it gets"
