He kept calling me til i sent Kylie round to sort him out

Was she out clubbing.

ha ha ha  - yep dragged him out that car he can't drive and kicked him one

I met him, he took me for a driver drive, although I was feeling a bit under par he still wanted a stroke  but with feeling ill I was rather green. My eagle eye told me just what he was, had him measure right down to a T. I bunkered  bunked off and went to a club instead and that last thing I wanted was to be pushing his knackered car, it seemed to be doing a lot of putt putting! Now that was crap

Round of applause pur-lease !!!

And then he hit the rough and lost his balls..

now I wish I'd thought of that to finish off