Masturbation - one aspect of it

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brisket

First can I say that I post this topic with sincerity.
I do hope it doesn't take us into difficult or unpleasant areas which may make it awkward for individual posters or for GaGa.
I do hope it will not need intervention from our GaGa moderators.
---------------------------
There are partners (men and women) who feel indignant and hurt if they discover their mate is masturbating alone.
My experience of female masturbation is extremely limited, so forgive my lack of reliable information.
But if the male is masturbating, why do so many female partners become upset, angry, even jealous, about it?
I see it as perfectly natural and an understandable pleasure, but many women regard it as an insult to them. "Why would he need to do that if he really loves me?" they say, or "He has me; there is no need to masturbate."
They miss the point that masturbation is a pleasure in its own right - different to sex with a partner - and should be accepted as such.
I suspect this attitude is present in male/male relationships too, but I think to a much lesser degree.
I really don't get it.
Partners are not an alternative to masturbation in my book.

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Blizz'ardMember 10 years

I would always encourage Mr Blizz to do more DIY.

1/31/116:46 AM

zazzMember

If you need to knock one out, I don't see the harm!

1/31/116:47 AM

slimfernMember VIP

By oneself it is a lot less messy I would say imagine

1/31/117:00 AM

EllsMember

As long as he leaves me alone he can do what he wants by himself!

1/31/117:03 AM

DirtyprettygirlthingMember

Reference:

I would always encourage Mr Blizz to do more DIY

yep! don't see why I should have to do everything around here !

1/31/117:04 AM

brisketMember Memoriam

Much to my surprise these are all very positive responses, - creative even.

1/31/117:05 AM

~Lee~Member

Whatever floats his boat.

1/31/117:07 AM

brisketMember Memoriam

Reference: brisket

...but many women regard it as an insult to them. "Why would he need to do that if he really loves me?" they say, or "He has me; there is no need to masturbate."

So perhaps unaccepting attitude stems from insecurity?

1/31/117:15 AM

stonksMember

As long as its not done in public....

1/31/117:20 AM

slimfernMember VIP

Reference:

So perhaps unaccepting attitude stems from insecurity?

stemming possibly from the thought that men very often use porn mags/vids to accomplish their objective.

1/31/117:31 AM

Blizz'ardMember 10 years

Reference: Ditty

yep! don't see why I should have to do everything around here !

Exactly!

1/31/117:44 AM

Garage JoeMember

I don't recall any women saying that they were offended by male masturbation or vice versa.

1/31/117:52 AM

stonksMember

I worked in a shop once and a fella asked me for a pint of milk, I stooped down into the cooler, got it and as I was standing up came face to face with his wang just sitting there on the counter....I was that shocked I served him, took his money, gave him his change all while his wang was sitting there on the counter and alls I could think of all this time was the counter top was going to smell of penis....

1/31/117:54 AM

slimfernMember VIP

Was he offering to pay you in kind Stonx

1/31/117:58 AM

Former Member

I think Slimfern maybe right. It's not the act itself that's the problem it's often the visual aids that some women seem to have an issue with. At least that's what I've read/heard. Women often feel insecure about their bodies and knowing that their man is looking at an idealised image can be very upsetting. And some women have a problem with the porn industry's exploitation of women from a political/feminist viewpoint.

I wouldn't have a problem with a partner of mine masturbating though to answer your original question Brisket

1/31/117:58 AM

stonksMember

Reference:

Was he offering to pay you in kind Stonx

I got cash....

1/31/118:02 AM

RZBMember

(((I worked in a shop once and a fella asked me for a pint of milk, I stooped down into the cooler, got it and as I was standing up came face to face with his wang just sitting there on the counter....I was that shocked I served him, took his money, gave him his change all while his wang was sitting there on the counter and alls I could think of all this time was the counter top was going to smell of penis)))))

That's terrible, enough to cause someone to have a stroke.

1/31/118:03 AM

brisketMember Memoriam

stonks - I have just looked up your name in the Urban Dictionary.
How appropriate for this thread.

Veggie - thanks; good points.

1/31/118:08 AM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

You were confronted by the one eyed milk man,I'd have blinded it with bleach.

1/31/118:10 AM

stonksMember

everyone that knew me asked why I had'nt got the cheese knife to him but I was just so shocked....

1/31/118:20 AM

stonksMember

Reference:

stonks - I have just looked up your name in the Urban Dictionary. How appropriate for this thread.

And that is my true nickname brisket....

1/31/118:21 AM

Blizz'ardMember 10 years

stonks!

You should have asked if he was after skinned, or semi-skinned!

1/31/118:24 AM

Karma_Member

Reference:

But if the male is masturbating, why do so many female partners become upset, angry, even jealous, about it?

Believe me, sometimes it's a blessing.

1/31/118:32 AM

Karma_Member

Reference:

"He has me; there is no need to masturbate."

Believe me, sometimes it's a blessing.

1/31/118:33 AM

Jemima Puddleduck (fka Drama)Member

Sometimes I imagine a partner may feel indignant if they feel their partner is substituting masturbation for sexual contact with them.
If a partner shows lack of interest in that department towards their partner for example, but is quite happy to pleasure themselves, surely this is just as much a problem, and can lead to insecurities.
Sometimes then its picked up that these insecurities are caused by these thoughts > "Why would he need to do that if he really loves me?" they say, or "He has me; there is no need to masturbate."

When it is the insecurity of knowing your partner prefers to take time out for himself, and neglect his partner that may be the cause.

1/31/118:39 AM

Karma_Member

Reference:

Partners are not an alternative to masturbation in my book.

No, but believe me.....etc.

I couldn't give a stuff how busy the bloke wants to get with his right hand tbh, especially if it means I get some peace when Eastenders is on. Sometimes some partners have a higher libido than the other, and even that can be interchangeable. As long as every other aspect of the relationship in the bedroom is ok and both people are happy, I don't see a problem.

1/31/118:40 AM

stonksMember

Reference:

You should have asked if he was after skinned, or semi-skinned!

Trust you....

..though it was a semi of some sorts....

1/31/119:33 AM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

Trust you......though it was a semi of some sorts....

Hood up or down?

1/31/119:39 AM

spongebob squarepantsMember

mr sponge was regularly knocking one out whilst bb was on......not in the same room i must add.....i'm not having nuffin disturbing my eviction nights.......

1/31/119:42 AM

Jen-StarMember VIP10 yearsModerator

Reference:

alls I could think of all this time was the counter top was going to smell of penis....

1/31/119:47 AM

Jen-StarMember VIP10 yearsModerator

i think the problem creeps in if theres a problem there anyway. I think if a couple have a healthy happy sex life There isnt a problem.

However if one person isnt showing much interest in the other but masturbating at the same time thats when problems within the relationship arise

1/31/119:51 AM

stonksMember

Reference:

Hood up or down?

It was more of a polar neck....

1/31/1110:08 AM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

mr sponge was regularly knocking one out whilst bb was on......not in the same room i must add.....i'm not having nuffin disturbing my eviction nights......

Spongey you'd make a donkey laugh.

1/31/1110:09 AM

~Lee~Member

Reference:

It was more of a polar neck...

Turtle neck?

1/31/1110:10 AM

Mount Olympus *Olly*Member 10 years

ummmmmmmmm I am a grown lady and certainly wasn't a nun but ewwwwww I don't wanna see anybody doing the solo nor hear about it, either second hand [pardon the pun] tales of solitary experiences or first hand via noises heard ..

and I suddenly feel like a teenager giggling and going bright red at the back of the class from embarrassment when 'norty's' are being talked about..

but seriously if I had a partner and they were off with themself all the time and not bothering with me I think I would be a tad annoyed..

[can't believe she's talking norty stuff on a forum. .and I know tis not norty but it feels like it is cos tis such a private thing..

]

1/31/1110:15 AM

DirtyprettygirlthingMember

Reference:

but seriously if I had a partner and they were off with themself all the time and not bothering with me I think I would be a tad annoyed.

its only annoying if they feel the need to "share" the end result with you... on a sunday morning, when you are enjoying a lie in.

1/31/1110:23 AM

Mount Olympus *Olly*Member 10 years

noooooooooooooo

*puts hands over ears and turns up TV volume *

lalalalalalalala not listening

1/31/1110:29 AM

CroctacusMember

quote:
my lalalalalalalala's not listening

1/31/1110:35 AM

Mount Olympus *Olly*Member 10 years

what? did I do a pun? am being a bit thick

1/31/1110:36 AM

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