Siavash "Let's do something to the mirrors"

Marcus "What? Smash 'em?"

Siavash "Err........no"


Marcus to Charlie (about Bea's influence on people):

"If you hang around Bea too long, you end up wearing her perfume."



.

Marcus to Bea last night


"Will you change your opinion if four million people tell you the same as I do?"

Marcus to Sophie ''I made a cameo appearance in your bath and your life's been better since''.


ROFL

"...because bastards want to torture me to madness."

''I have a Siamese called Abdul. He's a little shit."



PMSL

To Rodrigo and Charlie while they are yet again bickering:

"This could be the last thing that we hear in the House – you two arguing."


In a conversation with Sophie.......

"Sophie if you dont nominate me i'll headbutt you so hard we'll both scream"



ROFL .

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
''I have a Siamese called Abdul. He's a little shit."



PMSL

that whole letter was hilarious

"all the f****** best, Marcus"

haha

''I don't want to stay in a house with a bunch of bumlicks!"


ROFL .

"I'm not happy.... [...] You locked me in a house with f**king idiots like that one that just walked out the door..." [about Bea]


"I think I might just smash your poxy little cardboard house to its foundations - how do you like them f**king apples!"

''I am in this house with a bunch of ****ing idiots, all licking arse.''


PMSL

Marcus talking about his video message from home " i think Salma Hayek and Jet from Gladiators will be in it''.

Also talking about Sophie's message to Sophie "i think yours will just be a picture of your dogs grave"

Marcus calls John Barrowman "the juggernaught of Saturday night TV."

Everyone has had video messages and Bea's mum didn't leave her one so she was upset.
"Everybody's getting really supportive messages," she sniffed. "I just feel really disappointed."
"You got a coffee machine," Marcus reminded her. Helpful.

'' Cock blocker''

The night Noirin got evicted and Siavash's earings went missing Marcus said to Noirin as they were accusing Noirin of taking them.

'They are probably on ebay as we speak'






Marcus when he argued with Lisa in the bedroom 'I think you should all shut the **** up'. Everyone went silence and the look on Lisa's face was priceless.

During a Diary Room chat, the window fitter said he was "genuinely grateful"to the public for saving him from eviction on Friday.

However, he added that he was not really happy about staying.

On being asked why, Marcus replied: "Because you lock me in a house with ****ing idiots like the one who just walked out of the door [Bea]."

When asked why he didn't like Bea, the 35-year-old mimicked the recruitment consultant saying: "Oh what about me, me, me?"

He then proceeded to moan about the rest of the housemates.

"Everyone else is just bum-licking each other. I don't want to be stuck in a house with a load of bum-licks," Marcus explained.

When asked what he was planning to do in the coming week, the Londoner replied: "I may just smash your poxy house to its foundations. How do you like those ****ing apples?"



ROFL

Bea waiting outside the Diary Room, crying because she isn't happy about her video message. Marcus came over and put an arm round her.

"Everybody's getting really supportive messages," she sniffed. "I just feel really disappointed."
"You got a coffee machine," Marcus reminded her.
PMSL!

Upon Bea entering the jail past the pool

'Splash the f**k out of her Freddie'


Marcus and Rodrigo are the latest housemates to receive their messages from home.

"This better be good!" said Marcus in his best macho voice while striding towards the Task Room, his face fixed in a blub?-not-likely grin.

An his smile spread even wider hen a hologram of his friend Helen appeared. She told him, "We're so proud of you. You've been so funny," before telling him off for swearing too much.

"F-words, F-words!" said Marcus rebelliously, before bellowing a triumphant "Rock on!" and heading back to the Sitting Room.

"That's my friend Helen," he told the other housemates proudly. "She's sexy."

quote:

Originally posted by Xochiquetzal:
Bea waiting outside the Diary Room, crying because she isn't happy about her video message. Marcus came over and put an arm round her.

"Everybody's getting really supportive messages," she sniffed. "I just feel really disappointed."
"You got a coffee machine," Marcus reminded her.
PMSL!

Sorry darlo!
Should have known you had it covered! Still, you can never have too much of a good thing, eh?

speculating about his hologram from home:

"Mine will be Salma Hayek and Jet from Gladiators."

quote:

Originally posted by Domino:
speculating about his hologram from home:

"Mine will be Salma Hayek and Jet from Gladiators."

Nooo waaayyyy! Too good!

"I KNEW that was going to be "b"!"

"Does the name of a dinosaur count"?

"Bollocks, bastard ......"

Bea asking if Marcus could kill someone with karate:

"I can. I've got a killer death move"


At Sophie clearing up the leftovers

'give it to Slim over there'

''When I meet someone new, I think...Have I punched you before, or punched your dad''

'pool is nice, stupid shape.... chair is shit'


"When people come up to me i think, i bet i've had sex with your girlfriend!"


''Bea's the ***king problem"

Marcus, how many words beginning with B do you think you can say in one minute?"
"Well when I was thinking just then I came up with three, and I don't think the name of a dinosaur counts"

...


"Marcus, your one minute starts now"
"Bollocks, Bastard, Barometric.."

To "upset" Bea to comfort her :

"... and anyway, look at my beautiful face. You could look at this for another good few weeks!" strokes beard!

(Cant hear as Bea blows nose) "... or I'll let you squeeze my spots some more! Not today obviously .... when I take the time to grow some more!"

HaAHaHaAHaHaHAAHa OOoooh just read this whole thread for the first time. BRILLIANT!

The man truly is a legend!!!

Bea: "Well I'd like to have sex with [two celebrity names] - both at once."

Marcus: "What, one up the slowy hole or spit roast?"


Bea: "How do you think the public would describe me?"

Marcus: "A bit of a tit."

Bea: "No really, tell me."

Marcus: "Just told you. A bit of a tit."

Possibly about Nikki Grahame to Charlie and Bea on LF

"She did have a nice bum.........Everyone was having a go at her skinny legs......but I'd give her ago any day of the week....twice on Sundays.........and I probably would as well if she is going to be at the wrap party...."

Marcus: "What do you think of Bea? Minge!"

A moaning mingebag = Bea


How many fans do you think i have freddie

freddie says you have 12 i have about 12 million

marcus replies

"ah but do they think you are gorgeous"

2013 views cool .

Roddy and Marcus in the bath after being in the pool and they are talking about Marcus' "chihuahua contract"

"They said to me in there, they said "do you think .... " they said "Marcus can you hold the contract up to the camera" so I had to go up and hold it and they said "thank you", said "Marcus do you think a chihuahua will suit your image?"

Both laugh.

"Yes I f**kin do! I want an evil chihuahua!!"

This must be thread of the forum Darlo lad, the guy is the 'one liner' marvel.

I have read through this and cracked up at his words.

Pure classic

Marcus quotes...

13 pages of em (so far)

''I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks prediction of behaviour''

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
Roddy and Marcus in the bath after being in the pool and they are talking about Marcus' "chihuahua contract"

"They said to me in there, they said "do you think .... " they said "Marcus can you hold the contract up to the camera" so I had to go up and hold it and they said "thank you", said "Marcus do you think a chihuahua will suit your image?"

Both laugh.

"Yes I f**kin do! I want an evil chihuahua!!"

It continues.. - Sophie is now in the bathroom and Marcus and Roddy still in the bath.

Roddy "and soon Marcus will have a chihuahua"
Marcus "an EVIL chihuahua. Can I have a boy one please?"
Roddy "he wants a boy!"
Marcus "they said to me, they said "what are you going to call it" and I went "Eddie" and they said "why?" and I said "cause it's going to be called Evil Eddie the Evil Chihuahua" and they said "but Marcus, what happens if it's a bitch?" I said "It's still going to be called Evil Eddie - it'll be short for Edwina!""


PMSL

Sophie (to Roddy) "what will you do with your chihuahua?"

Roddy "love it"

Marcus "ergh!"

'Marcus hopes his hologram is a picture of some sandwiches.''

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
Bea: "Well I'd like to have sex with [two celebrity names] - both at once."

Marcus: "What, one up the slowy hole or spit roast?"


Bea: "How do you think the public would describe me?"

Marcus: "A bit of a tit."

Bea: "No really, tell me."

Marcus: "Just told you. A bit of a tit."

Possibly about Nikki Grahame to Charlie and Bea on LF

"She did have a nice bum.........Everyone was having a go at her skinny legs......but I'd give her ago any day of the week....twice on Sundays.........and I probably would as well if she is going to be at the wrap party...."

Marcus: "What do you think of Bea? Minge!"

A moaning mingebag = Bea


How many fans do you think i have freddie

freddie says you have 12 i have about 12 million

marcus replies

"ah but do they think you are gorgeous"

"What, one up the slowy hole or spit roast?"

hehe I THINK it was "slurry hole" but not quite sure, I know this though I was lying in bed watching, and when he said that, I laughed so loud and did a huge FART at the same time, so loud it woke the OH up,

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
Roddy and Marcus in the bath after being in the pool and they are talking about Marcus' "chihuahua contract"

"They said to me in there, they said "do you think .... " they said "Marcus can you hold the contract up to the camera" so I had to go up and hold it and they said "thank you", said "Marcus do you think a chihuahua will suit your image?"

Both laugh.

"Yes I f**kin do! I want an evil chihuahua!!"

It continues.. - Sophie is now in the bathroom and Marcus and Roddy still in the bath.

Roddy "and soon Marcus will have a chihuahua"
Marcus "an EVIL chihuahua. Can I have a boy one please?"
Roddy "he wants a boy!"
Marcus "they said to me, they said "what are you going to call it" and I went "Eddie" and they said "why?" and I said "cause it's going to be called Evil Eddie the Evil Chihuahua" and they said "but Marcus, what happens if it's a bitch?" I said "It's still going to be called Evil Eddie - it'll be short for Edwina!""


PMSL

just found out on DS that the 'chihuahua contract' was drawn up after sophie promised marcus & rodrigo puppies if her chihuahua ever had any. apparently marcus wrote it in eyebrow pencil.

To David:

''Your a Fat C**T what do you say about that?, Nothing thats what because you can't"

Is called across to the Task Room and Marcus tells the other housemates to “get the tissues ready.”


Marcus tries to explain to a shocked Bea why he nominated her.


"Don't be upset because it wasn't anything to do with you being a m*nge bag or anything like that,"



LOL .

So funny...I've been on a marathon readathon

quote:

Originally posted by Kaytee:
So funny...I've been on a marathon readathon

When Bea was trying to commandeer the bog snokelling task:

''For one, it's boring and shit, and secondly, I want to do the other one''.


Bea: Who did you vote for?
Marcus: You and David.

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
When Bea was trying to commandeer the bog snokelling task:

''For one, it's boring and shit, and secondly, I want to do the other one''.


Bea: Who did you vote for?
Marcus: You and David.

By boring and shit he meant the racing task of course which Bea was doing and which he didn't want to do.

Marcus apparently told a coughing cameraman this morning that he should go and get some cough medicine (Tixylix).