brilliant thread darlo
He's very entertaining often when he doesn't mean to be. 
quote:I'm sure the box said I would have an 'experience'..
Darlooooo.....I've now got belly ache 
"You can't stop the champ!" said Marcus. "I'm a force of nature. You can't stop a force of nature."
''He's been here a week and he's pissing and bitching like a little baby girl''- about Tom
You Busom!
'You wanted to have fun but didn't care about anyone else' Noirin
'you're so predictable.'
It came totally out of nowhere, but amazingly was in the context of the conversation, as Bea was talking about how everything is so sanitised these days.
''He's been here a week and he's pissing and bitching like a little baby girl''- about Tom
You Busom!
'You wanted to have fun but didn't care about anyone else' Noirin
'you're so predictable.'
It came totally out of nowhere, but amazingly was in the context of the conversation, as Bea was talking about how everything is so sanitised these days.
quote:Originally posted by Scotty:
"Unfortunately they broke the mould when they made me," said Marcus
Someone needs to tell him that it was a deliberate act
"Noirin [pause] I like you"
few weeks later...
"Noirin, go **** yourself"
funny because he said her name in the same tone of voice each time
few weeks later...
"Noirin, go **** yourself"
funny because he said her name in the same tone of voice each time
I've just read through all these again and I'm crying. He's just so funny!!
quote:Originally posted by darloboy07:
I know "I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow"
An Stuff like that !!!
I am THE Irrepressible Dark Horse.
Its a natterjack toad, don't you watch Terry Nutkins?
"I drink puddle water"
"It was in The Diary of Adrian Mole
"bla bla bla bla"
"you dicksplash"
"Sophie's a titbird
I eat cat biscuits
There's definitely food banditry going on
"I found a little interesting thing which I stuck to another interesting thing, to make a bigger interesting thing".
Tigers don't mate anymore, because they're bored".
The Irrepressible Dark Horse is a way of life. It's the spirit of not being repressed, restrained or controlled by anyone. That is me.
"They're f*ckin' delicious. it depends what flavour you like.
"Noirin, I actually am upset about Michael Jackson ".
I can pull trucks with my bellend
Do you want cherryade all over your diary room chair?
When the task requirement was for a strongman...
`Typecasting`
I was put in this house as a bit of meat.
It annoys me when girlfriends can buy what clothes they like in the sales at discounted prices and I have to buy everything full price or have it custom made.
''you ain't all that and a bag of potato chips''.
I wonder how much tea would you have to drink to become tea? Because surely if you drink enough of it, it must permeate every fibre of your being. If you just keep drinking it. It would eventually just seep through all your stomach lining and your organs until you would actually become tea.
"I bet this is the shittest Big Brother ever. They're not putting any money or effort into the tasks so we're all sitting around bored all the time. People aren't going to want to turn on their televisions and see us lot sitting around all depressed. It's probably already been cancelled and we're still in here because they forgot to tell us when they f*cked off home"
"That's easy, I could pull that with my bell end"
"Don't start flapping your gums at me"
"He was just being a cockblocker"
Marcus: Noirin
Noirin: Yeah
[long pause]
Marcus: I like you
"Noirin.... I'm actually really upset about Michael Jackson"
"Karly's just a little ball of hate"
"I was put in this house as a piece of meat"
"You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips!"
"Never chase buses or women but in here Norin can't get away"
Sree in ice cream task: Marcus, what was the order again?
Marcus: How the f**k should I know? You didn't say anything!
(wtte) Pandering to these f**king namby-pamby PC morons..... what a total load of wank!
"The ultimate karate test is I beat 100 men which took 4 hours and my hands and feet were blistered down to the bone."
"Cat biscuits? Disgusting? I eat cat biscuits all the time!"
"and my f***ing tea's now gone cold"
"I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow"
BB: Marcus, you've just forfeited the 3 tokens
Marcus: You w*nker!
"I am the irrepressible dark horse. Film it, listen to it, love it!".
I am Captain Cool as F**k"
PMSL
wonder how many women pretend their husbands are me when they have sex with them
, delusion in that comment but it's funny.
, delusion in that comment but it's funny.
Imagine Lisa wrestling an alligator
quote:Originally posted by Paradice:quote:Originally posted by darloboy07:
I know "I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow"
An Stuff like that !!!
I am THE Irrepressible Dark Horse.
Its a natterjack toad, don't you watch Terry Nutkins?
"I drink puddle water"
"It was in The Diary of Adrian Mole
"bla bla bla bla"
"you dicksplash"
"Sophie's a titbird
I eat cat biscuits
There's definitely food banditry going on
"I found a little interesting thing which I stuck to another interesting thing, to make a bigger interesting thing".
Tigers don't mate anymore, because they're bored".
The Irrepressible Dark Horse is a way of life. It's the spirit of not being repressed, restrained or controlled by anyone. That is me.
"They're f*ckin' delicious. it depends what flavour you like.
"Noirin, I actually am upset about Michael Jackson ".
I can pull trucks with my bellend
Do you want cherryade all over your diary room chair?
When the task requirement was for a strongman...
`Typecasting`
I was put in this house as a bit of meat.
It annoys me when girlfriends can buy what clothes they like in the sales at discounted prices and I have to buy everything full price or have it custom made.
''you ain't all that and a bag of potato chips''.
I wonder how much tea would you have to drink to become tea? Because surely if you drink enough of it, it must permeate every fibre of your being. If you just keep drinking it. It would eventually just seep through all your stomach lining and your organs until you would actually become tea.
"I bet this is the shittest Big Brother ever. They're not putting any money or effort into the tasks so we're all sitting around bored all the time. People aren't going to want to turn on their televisions and see us lot sitting around all depressed. It's probably already been cancelled and we're still in here because they forgot to tell us when they f*cked off home"
"That's easy, I could pull that with my bell end"
"Don't start flapping your gums at me"
"He was just being a cockblocker"
Marcus: Noirin
Noirin: Yeah
[long pause]
Marcus: I like you
"Noirin.... I'm actually really upset about Michael Jackson"
"Karly's just a little ball of hate"
"I was put in this house as a piece of meat"
"You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips!"
"Never chase buses or women but in here Norin can't get away"
Sree in ice cream task: Marcus, what was the order again?
Marcus: How the f**k should I know? You didn't say anything!
(wtte) Pandering to these f**king namby-pamby PC morons..... what a total load of wank!
"The ultimate karate test is I beat 100 men which took 4 hours and my hands and feet were blistered down to the bone."
"Cat biscuits? Disgusting? I eat cat biscuits all the time!"
"and my f***ing tea's now gone cold"
"I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow"
BB: Marcus, you've just forfeited the 3 tokens
Marcus: You w*nker!
"I am the irrepressible dark horse. Film it, listen to it, love it!".
I am Captain Cool as F**k"
PMSL
''effin sh1thole poxy house!"
Marcus Akin can slam a revolving door.
Marcus Akin can sneeze with his eyes open
.
Marcus Akin can slam a revolving door.
Marcus Akin can sneeze with his eyes open
.
(to Noirin) 'Dont take me out of my cool zone'
On pondering if its a vote to save..
*sighs*
Oh that's me staying in then, some other t*t will be going
*sighs*
Oh that's me staying in then, some other t*t will be going
Thats so rude"
Freddie (laughing) "Marcus, you can sit around in jail and reflect on how .... (laughing)"
"But they just STILL do not realise that the very nature of the Irrepressible Dark Horse just IS irrepressible!"
Freddie (still laughing) "yes!"
Freddie (laughing) "Marcus, you can sit around in jail and reflect on how .... (laughing)"
"But they just STILL do not realise that the very nature of the Irrepressible Dark Horse just IS irrepressible!"
Freddie (still laughing) "yes!"
Marcus on way to jail
(f****ng To***rs)
(f****ng To***rs)
Marcus " Tigers are almost extinct because there all bored "
Don't remember exactly how he put it but he was just complaining that BB wouldn't give him a remote control wasp.
quote:Originally posted by darloboy07:
On pondering if its a vote to save..
*sighs*
Oh that's me staying in then, some other t*t will be going
"they're gonna reap the whirlwind" (or something like that - i can't remember who it was about or why?)
Sophie: My legs are aching.
Marcus: I'm Marcus Akin.
Marcus: I'm Marcus Akin.
Bathroom.
"Oh the b**tards, B**TARDS!"
"dark horse is a force of nature, you cant stop a force of nature. Ha, ha. HA, HA!"
"Shut up and get over it"
"..and then youve got your tissues and that there and thats it, and then you work away"
"You did Bea, you put me up to it, youre a bad influence. Getting everyone to smoke and masterbate. This was a lovely house till you come in, lovely"
DR
"Absolutely annihilating the butter at a rate unheard of by human consumption"
"These lot are rude, I got to go to jail" ""****ing s**t hole poxy house"
Jail
"Having a good strum over a picture of the good old Dark horse"
"I wonder how many women pretend their husbands are ME when they have sex with them?"
"Oh thats gonna be ***t! that means its not gonna be me going this week, they'll chose some other tit"
"I might just run out the door, if on Friday they say who gets evicted and whatever, I might just run out and take their place and go "Its me, YAY!"
"See what Hira says aswell. She might just flip out and turn into a nutter"
The <bubble bath> bottle said that I would recieve a breathtaking, sensual experience, so I'm just sitting here waiting for it to kick in."
knew one million billion percent that they'd make my picture a f***in awesome one.
"Oh the b**tards, B**TARDS!"
"dark horse is a force of nature, you cant stop a force of nature. Ha, ha. HA, HA!"
"Shut up and get over it"
"..and then youve got your tissues and that there and thats it, and then you work away"
"You did Bea, you put me up to it, youre a bad influence. Getting everyone to smoke and masterbate. This was a lovely house till you come in, lovely"
DR
"Absolutely annihilating the butter at a rate unheard of by human consumption"
"These lot are rude, I got to go to jail" ""****ing s**t hole poxy house"
Jail
"Having a good strum over a picture of the good old Dark horse"
"I wonder how many women pretend their husbands are ME when they have sex with them?"
"Oh thats gonna be ***t! that means its not gonna be me going this week, they'll chose some other tit"
"I might just run out the door, if on Friday they say who gets evicted and whatever, I might just run out and take their place and go "Its me, YAY!"
"See what Hira says aswell. She might just flip out and turn into a nutter"
The <bubble bath> bottle said that I would recieve a breathtaking, sensual experience, so I'm just sitting here waiting for it to kick in."
knew one million billion percent that they'd make my picture a f***in awesome one.
Marcus used a fortune cookie to seduce a woman - he got
"Saturday is your lucky day" and she got something which said "bluebells" so he took her to a field of bluebells ...........and the rest is history.
Popcorn is the most expensive commodity. You can grow a whole field of it for about 10p, just stick it in a bag
PMSL.
"Saturday is your lucky day" and she got something which said "bluebells" so he took her to a field of bluebells ...........and the rest is history.
Popcorn is the most expensive commodity. You can grow a whole field of it for about 10p, just stick it in a bag
PMSL
.
1. I could pull that truck with my bellend
2. I could kill him with my eyebrow
3. I am captain cool as ****
4. I am THE irrepressible dark horse
5. If they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag
6. Trousers exist
7. Big Brother: Would you like to say anything Marcus?
Marcus: Yes, you're talking ****
8. Yeah, thats why I drink puddle water and swallow my food whole without chewing, because my stomach juices are so strong and that.
9. Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair?
10. Marcus: You can be identical yourself, but not be yourself
Tom: What? That doesn't make any sense Marcus
11. I've got nothing to gain from smacking around a little p*ssant like him
11. My f*cking tea's gone cold now you stupid w*nkers
12. He comes in bloody crying and p*ssing in his pants
13. Everything about this house, the second you walk in.... you go into the Matrix
14. Blah blah blah and everything like that!
15. Big Brother: In a conversation with Noirin, you said, I will show him the meaning of pain
Marcus: yeah thats from a film
16. I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow
17. To Sree: Shut up you girl!
18. Will reap the whirlwind
19. When asked if he'd shave his eyebrow off, he said:
I'd rather do something like... set fire to ourselves
20. To Tom... You're not all that and a bag of potato chips
21. I'm Just sad about Michael Jackson
22. BB: Mathematical sense or nonsense?
Marcus: You w*nker!
BB: You have just forfeited your 3 tokens
Marcus: Oh dont be a *****
23. My bladder tore open that night and I've been having trouble since. I don't regret it.
24. Big Brother: Marcus, have you anything else to say?
Marcus: Yeah, gimme back the tokens
Big Brother: No
Marcus: ...
25. Captain Cool does not suffer from jangly nerves
26. About Nikki Grahame: She's got nice long hair and acceptable breasts
27. This is probably the sh*ttiest big brother ever
28. BB: how are you feeling about being up for nomination?
Marcus: am I allowed to swear?
BB: if you need to
Marcus: I couldnt really give a **** to be honest
29. Noirin reckons she doesnt have any good storylines coming up, yeah, like shes seen the f*cking radio times?
30. On Isaac's entry - Marcus: I don't have to say a ****ing word
31. BB telling him off for helping kenny escape over the roof - Marcus: Yeh this isn't colditz mate
32. I don't fancy her at all, it is completely a BB thing
33. That was ********, it was a natterjack toad I know that species because it was part of Adrian Mole
34. Sree, dont **** about
35. What a load of w*nk
36. I told ya, never bet against the Dark Horse
37. I am the X factor
38. Tom is a w*nker
39. That is verging on sexual harassment
40. I don't like these little peacock displays
41. Your own thoughts in your head are not your own thoughts, they are all fake thoughts
42. Nah, I don't think much of her. I think she's a f*cking idiot to tell you the truth
43. I'm sorry but that's double standards and a complete ***k
44. Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored
45. He's getting ideas above his station
46. Food bandit
47. Shut up and kiss me
48. Now I know why the victorians thought it was great to go and watch the inmates in the local asylums on an evening
49. Big Brother 10, bringing Bedlam into the 21st century
50. After Noirin and Isaac exit the house - Now we've got two extra duvets to take into the garden!
51. While Sophie is using the toilet: I'm going to find another toilet, when I want a p*ss I have a p*ss. I don't wait for anyone!
52. The viewers at home must be praying that the house gets hit by a meteorite cause all we're doing is moaning and whinging
53. I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks prediction of behaviour
54. Talking to Bea about David:
I'll have a word with him. If he gets lairy I'll shout at him and make him turn white
55. You can't stop the champ! I'm a force of nature, you can't stop a force of nature
56. Men like a womans' breasts, her cleavage, because it looks like a butt and makes them want to mate
57. Some dog food's nice, like the biscuits and that. I eat cat biscuits all the time. Cats' biscuits are delicious. Not tuna or anything like that, like ones with chicken in
58. When he saw George Lamb on BBLB.
"We're not ****ing sleeping you *****!" on Live TV
59. He definitely is a food-bandit
60. On Lisa: She's like a dog with no teeth.... It's time to get back into action!
61. It's going to be a very argumentative week in the house, I think ... and to be honest, I'm looking forward to it! There hasn't been enough arguments!
62. About Siavash, Day 60: He just bullsh*ts so much. He says something and I just think 'Bull wack, mate'.
63. In jail: Take me to America please. I should be ready to leave in a few moments. Thank you.
, PMSL.
2. I could kill him with my eyebrow
3. I am captain cool as ****
4. I am THE irrepressible dark horse
5. If they start having sex in the middle of the night, I will creep up with a spoon and whack him in the ball bag
6. Trousers exist
7. Big Brother: Would you like to say anything Marcus?
Marcus: Yes, you're talking ****
8. Yeah, thats why I drink puddle water and swallow my food whole without chewing, because my stomach juices are so strong and that.
9. Would you like cherryade all over your diary room chair?
10. Marcus: You can be identical yourself, but not be yourself
Tom: What? That doesn't make any sense Marcus
11. I've got nothing to gain from smacking around a little p*ssant like him
11. My f*cking tea's gone cold now you stupid w*nkers
12. He comes in bloody crying and p*ssing in his pants
13. Everything about this house, the second you walk in.... you go into the Matrix
14. Blah blah blah and everything like that!
15. Big Brother: In a conversation with Noirin, you said, I will show him the meaning of pain
Marcus: yeah thats from a film
16. I could honestly kill him with my eyebrow
17. To Sree: Shut up you girl!
18. Will reap the whirlwind
19. When asked if he'd shave his eyebrow off, he said:
I'd rather do something like... set fire to ourselves
20. To Tom... You're not all that and a bag of potato chips
21. I'm Just sad about Michael Jackson
22. BB: Mathematical sense or nonsense?
Marcus: You w*nker!
BB: You have just forfeited your 3 tokens
Marcus: Oh dont be a *****
23. My bladder tore open that night and I've been having trouble since. I don't regret it.
24. Big Brother: Marcus, have you anything else to say?
Marcus: Yeah, gimme back the tokens
Big Brother: No
Marcus: ...
25. Captain Cool does not suffer from jangly nerves
26. About Nikki Grahame: She's got nice long hair and acceptable breasts
27. This is probably the sh*ttiest big brother ever
28. BB: how are you feeling about being up for nomination?
Marcus: am I allowed to swear?
BB: if you need to
Marcus: I couldnt really give a **** to be honest
29. Noirin reckons she doesnt have any good storylines coming up, yeah, like shes seen the f*cking radio times?
30. On Isaac's entry - Marcus: I don't have to say a ****ing word
31. BB telling him off for helping kenny escape over the roof - Marcus: Yeh this isn't colditz mate
32. I don't fancy her at all, it is completely a BB thing
33. That was ********, it was a natterjack toad I know that species because it was part of Adrian Mole
34. Sree, dont **** about
35. What a load of w*nk
36. I told ya, never bet against the Dark Horse
37. I am the X factor
38. Tom is a w*nker
39. That is verging on sexual harassment
40. I don't like these little peacock displays
41. Your own thoughts in your head are not your own thoughts, they are all fake thoughts
42. Nah, I don't think much of her. I think she's a f*cking idiot to tell you the truth
43. I'm sorry but that's double standards and a complete ***k
44. Do you know why tigers are dieing out? because they're bored
45. He's getting ideas above his station
46. Food bandit
47. Shut up and kiss me
48. Now I know why the victorians thought it was great to go and watch the inmates in the local asylums on an evening
49. Big Brother 10, bringing Bedlam into the 21st century
50. After Noirin and Isaac exit the house - Now we've got two extra duvets to take into the garden!
51. While Sophie is using the toilet: I'm going to find another toilet, when I want a p*ss I have a p*ss. I don't wait for anyone!
52. The viewers at home must be praying that the house gets hit by a meteorite cause all we're doing is moaning and whinging
53. I can scan a room in 10 seconds flat and make a weeks prediction of behaviour
54. Talking to Bea about David:
I'll have a word with him. If he gets lairy I'll shout at him and make him turn white
55. You can't stop the champ! I'm a force of nature, you can't stop a force of nature
56. Men like a womans' breasts, her cleavage, because it looks like a butt and makes them want to mate
57. Some dog food's nice, like the biscuits and that. I eat cat biscuits all the time. Cats' biscuits are delicious. Not tuna or anything like that, like ones with chicken in
58. When he saw George Lamb on BBLB.
"We're not ****ing sleeping you *****!" on Live TV
59. He definitely is a food-bandit
60. On Lisa: She's like a dog with no teeth.... It's time to get back into action!
61. It's going to be a very argumentative week in the house, I think ... and to be honest, I'm looking forward to it! There hasn't been enough arguments!
62. About Siavash, Day 60: He just bullsh*ts so much. He says something and I just think 'Bull wack, mate'.
63. In jail: Take me to America please. I should be ready to leave in a few moments. Thank you.
, PMSL.
Darlo, I'm begging you to stop! I'm laughing too hard here!
"I wish you fancied me Its amazing how much you listen to someone just because you fancy them"
"I would sleep with her - not because I fancy her"
"I would sleep with her - not because I fancy her"
Marcus described Lisa as a "****ing mingebag
Top thread number 2 proof of comic genius that is dark horsequote:Originally posted by darloboy07:
Marcus described Lisa as a "****ing mingebag
Dave:"I think you're a pathetic excuse for a man"
Marcus: "Well I think you're a f*cking fat c*nt, that's what I think! A pathetic, fat, whinging c*nt - what are you gonna say about that? you're gonna say nothing, so deal with that"
Marcus: "Well I think you're a f*cking fat c*nt, that's what I think! A pathetic, fat, whinging c*nt - what are you gonna say about that? you're gonna say nothing, so deal with that"
I LOVE HIMMM!
"David, sorry for calling you a fat c*nt".
"I've eaten an air freshener before now. I thought that something that smells so nice couldn't taste that bad but it did. Proved myself wrong there."
(In a mock posh accent)
"How can you drink that Freddie??? It tastes like a mixture between perfume and sick!"
(In a mock posh accent)
"How can you drink that Freddie??? It tastes like a mixture between perfume and sick!"
Marcus (floating in the pool with oversize chess pieces) -
"I'm like an Iceberg"
Bea - "but your pink and soft"
Marcus - "No i'm not, I'm bloody rock hard! I'm all twisted steel and sex appeal
"I'm like an Iceberg"
Bea - "but your pink and soft"
Marcus - "No i'm not, I'm bloody rock hard! I'm all twisted steel and sex appeal
I know there isnt a snow balls chance in hell, but I would LOVE him to win it,
Best post of the night ..
He's a legend in his own lifetime
He's a legend in his own lifetime
To Bea last night, 'When you were born, did the doctor take a look at your face and then your a*** and say "We've got Siamese twins here"?'
Marcus doing his Peggy Mitchell impersonation " your barred, now f*ck off''.
I would say that my arse is strictly an exit hole, but I would entertain the idea of colonic irrigation,"
"Do you think we can swap a Token for a colonic irrigator?" he asked, only half joking. "You know, one of those machines with a little tube so you can see the bits of shit go past. I'd feel like Jaws and there'd be stuff in there like number plates and turtles,".
After geting called in to the DR big brother asks marcus what was is take on the fight with david.
"well we was talking about this-that and the other"
PMSL
Marcus doing his Peggy Mitchell impersonation " your barred, now f*ck off''.
I would say that my arse is strictly an exit hole, but I would entertain the idea of colonic irrigation,"
"Do you think we can swap a Token for a colonic irrigator?" he asked, only half joking. "You know, one of those machines with a little tube so you can see the bits of shit go past. I'd feel like Jaws and there'd be stuff in there like number plates and turtles,".
After geting called in to the DR big brother asks marcus what was is take on the fight with david.
"well we was talking about this-that and the other"
PMSL
M: "A lot of them old names are dying out now, like Gertrude. My great grandmother was called Gertrude."
Bea: "Gerty."
Charlie: "Dirty Gerty..."
M: "Yeah, but the thing is it's such a horrible name but it has got such an awesome meaning."
Bea: "What's it mean?"
M: "Like 'Spear Lady'.
Charlie: "Does it?"
M: "Yeah. What an awesome f***ing meaning for a name. Spear Lady - it's just like, yeah, if you f***k with my grandmother she's gonna put you on a spike, so deal with that."
Expletives guessed.
.
Bea: "Gerty."
Charlie: "Dirty Gerty..."
M: "Yeah, but the thing is it's such a horrible name but it has got such an awesome meaning."
Bea: "What's it mean?"
M: "Like 'Spear Lady'.
Charlie: "Does it?"
M: "Yeah. What an awesome f***ing meaning for a name. Spear Lady - it's just like, yeah, if you f***k with my grandmother she's gonna put you on a spike, so deal with that."
Expletives guessed.
.quote:Originally posted by Ruthy_Babes:
Best post of the night ..
He's a legend in his own lifetime
Watching the other HMs eat pig tails, eyeballs, etc.
Marcus "What's the pastry like?".
"...and then I'll have a can of cider and it will go down like liquid gold."
To Bea:
"Did the midwife take a look at your face and arse and go "oh look - Siamese twins"!"
So much funny quotes PMSL
Marcus "What's the pastry like?".
"...and then I'll have a can of cider and it will go down like liquid gold."
To Bea:
"Did the midwife take a look at your face and arse and go "oh look - Siamese twins"!"
So much funny quotes PMSL