There is a cat and a cockerel who are both starving, the cat tells the cockerel where he find some nice juicy worms.  The cat goes up the lane turns left and behind the big oak tree finds some lovely juicy worms, he eats till he is full and then returns to the cat.  The cockerel tells the cat where there are some big fat mice.  The cat goes up the lane and jumps over the wall. She falls into the river and drowns. The moral of the story is, whenever you get .a satisfied cock you always get a wet pussy.

I'd heard that one before Essie! But it's bloody brilliant... especially the written accents!  

Muf so funny,  LOL

MAN walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is
lying in bed reading.

Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies: "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Muf!

Essie love your ozzie one, can just imagine the look on his face, it sooo wouldn't needa any words  

Celeb Jungle starts Sun night   More Threads to take our minds off RL and slag em off.   Wonder who will be the first to slag someone off????

Real that's it I've googled myself  

Feelin' any better X?

The 9 is missing off yer Avvy Muff  

Muf, LOL

Not on a Public forum Low  

Thought I'd turned the webcam off

Loads better muf! Having a laugh is a good antidote... and it'll help me help them too.

 
 
 
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the
Devil is waiting for him.

'I don't know what to do here,' says the devil. 'You're on my list
but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so
I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who
weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to
take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.'

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large
pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over and over, gasping
for air. Such was his fate in hell.

'No!' George said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
don't think I could do that all day long.'

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared.
'No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!' commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying
naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs
staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky,
doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
'Yeah, I can handle this


The devil smiled and said... 'Monica, you're free to go!'

Thats if you can remember the jokes to tell em Where's Blizzie tonight?? Thought she would have put two-pennyworth in Out with Dave prob

Ohhh! The best jokes have a brilliant twist like that!

Muf that is evil 

Glad you're feeling a la'al bit better Pet
Off to bed now, see You in the book club X xx
 
Ni-night Y'all

She wouldn't get a dime out of Dave's wallet...

Real i can't remember jokes, I try but rarely manage it

Night Low
 

Night muf... yeah... see you there... and go and vote for the next one btw.

Night Muf ---and get that 9 into yer Avvy.

Didn't anybody give it back to him?

goodnight Muf  really enjoyed your jokes

His wallet is gone if you remember.     Funny he hasn't turned up tonight.

Brilliant Muf

Right Firefox has been chucking me off all day and has been driving me mental, so I'm off to bed.

Goodnight to everyone who is still up
sandy, elkie5, 9 network members and 11 Guests.

XXXXX

Maybe he's out on the town

goodnight  Essie  sweet dreams, after you've given the puter a good kicking

Maybe he's scared of my our British thieving ways...

Night Essie Must be yer ISP--- I'm on FF and no probs.    FF for those who are not on it--- new puter or ISP if probs persist.

Awww... night Essie... thanks for being here when you were here!

Xoch, I don't why you're feeling what you feel but I empathise. A short while ago on another Forum I'm on I heard about the death after an operationial procedure that caused her heart arrest from which she couldn't be saved of a really lovely young woman I knew, mother of a wonderful young child and daughter of a loving mother, she was loved by so many who knew her, a very special lady. 3 days ago I also heard about through the same Forum of a young man who committed suicide. I knew him also and communicated with him many times, he was such a gentle soul, probably too gentle for this world and I and others tried to help him but sadly he couldn't cope with this world. Personally I don't need anything from anyone here to make me laugh, I wish you well Xoch

I think the bad weather is causing problems for many tonight Real... I'm on cable so no big difficulties so far, although loading has been slow sometimes tonight.

The other night was horrendous for me, I was cut off, and slow, and so frustrated, believe me I was beside myself

I do understand what you say YR... I did say I didn't want to make this about me. These are 3 very close RL friends, and their sadness is palpable to me.. suffice it to say, one lost a sister, one a baby and one who's brother is very seriously ill.  I felt I needed to take myself out of my own head and thoughts for a while so I can be a better support for them.

OH was not happy when Silent witness broke up on Sky , one he hadn't seen before. I'm not going to find out now what happens, I've watched it all this time etc.  Lucky it came back on

Yellow Rose, the world is full of tragedy and we all cope in our own ways, I wish you well in whatever way you cope.