You know you want to.

post fish innards through the door

Order him and his deranged wife a fat,expensive indian

What kills plants, i heard orange juice is none to nice for them god im horrible.

send pandelilah in...brake fluid over his car,and wife

Sexy time noises especially between the hours of 12, 3 and 6am

Hahaha

Buy a trampoline, place near fence closest to house as is safe..... tell child Santa spends his holidays next dooor and watch as child gawps into neighbours house with each bounce.

Yeah..........trampoline ang go large 

Or a doocot   

Soozy!

love it and its not even evil like sending (to a married man/woman) a anonymous valentines card.

we suffered with neighbours from hell for 18 months and one of their tricks was to poison the lawn - we don't know what they used- but it stopped our 2 year old from playing outside and just showed how demented they really were,

hi im from the uk, i have 2 smack heads living downstairs what would be the best way to piss them off ?

Just noticed the date of this thread 5th April 2011 .

I believe hulkseviltwin probably googled ways to annoy your neighbours and found us 

As for the smack heads, I still stand by covering their doorstep with strawberry jam.

Thats my guess too

Hello Hulkseviltwin and welcome to the forum.

Get them a job .

If the neighbours are indeed acting like "victor meldrew" then maybe you should ask "why are they always annoyed with me", could it be that you did or are doing things to annoy him?  like loud music, having lots of loud friends round every day/night, shouty kids that you never quieten down, DIY all the time, mess from your bins that spills over onto your neighbours property?   instead of assuming your perfect and your neighbour is a Victor Meldrew how about you look at your own behaviour.

Are they bothering you or anyone around you. Do they do what they do in peace and behind closed doors? 

This. Why on earth would some one find our little forum to ask that, and the. drag it up. 

Leave a trail of smack in to the forest, once in the middle of the forest rub the smack up a tree. Once you know they've followed you and they are up the tree, runaway really really fast. Like faster than Hussain Bolt fast. 

Oh.  I thought you were going to suggest shooting them.

Your idea would work too though.

did you actually read the OP, or are you just being your usual cynical self?

Oscar is in the funny farm Ellis, do keep up '

I am lost Aimee 

Yes I did read the OP's post and yes im a cynical person.

But I hear this a lot, neighbour A annoys neighbour B, neighbour B complains and then gets accused of being the nasty person, the Victor Meldrew, if you like...im saying theres two sides to every story.

I've got dickhead neighbours and I could reel off millions of things that is wrong with them and I have no doubt they tell their friends or family that im the one who is horrible simply because I complain about their behaviour.

Because we have all the answers in it if only they had asked us where the plane was tsk

 It's in the bottom of some water, innit.

A knackered fridge or car engine in the front garden.

Gnome the hell out of your front garden (that might annoy you more)

Buy a double decker bus and park across the front of their house.

You are perfectly legal to drive one on a car license.

You only need a PSV (Public Service Vehicle) license if you are carrying fare-paying passengers.

That should do the trick.