I know its not good but I always think over reacting is the worst thing you can do, it just seems to make them even more rebellious

I used to do that..

You're not a fool..

part of growing up

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Getting into clubs and drinking at the age of 16. Told me she was staying at her mates, and I believed her. AGAIN Feel a total fool AGAIN

Dont beat yourself up about it. She is only behaving like a typical teenager

quote:

Originally posted by boltonfan2:
I know its not good but I always think over reacting is the worst thing you can do, it just seems to make them even more rebellious

Bit too late for that. Already happened. After everything she put me through last year, really shocked I am having this again. Just found photos on her friends facebook of her in this club, and they aint good

Dont think Im overreacting Not when she ended up in A and E a couple of years back with alcoholic poisining

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Getting into clubs and drinking at the age of 16. Told me she was staying at her mates, and I believed her. AGAIN Feel a total fool AGAIN

Eeeeek, the rebellious little teen stage!!! Mine hasn't reached that (yet... she is 14...) But my mates's 2 daughters HAVE - they are 17 and 15. I hope she will be OK. It is hard knowing what to do for the best. Best to just be there when she needs you I guess and try and let her do what she wants within reason, but it's so hard isn't it... ? we don't wanna be like gestapo, but don't wanna be too slack either. I am sorry to hear this LMS. You can take comfort in the fact that a lot of 16 year old girls are the same though.

Take her mobile off her. Young girls can't seem to live without their mobiles. Everytime she says she's going out....go with her, be an 'embarrassing mum'.

Oh LMS, it's horrible to find out, I did a few weeks ago with my 14 and 15 year old, managed to gound them for 2 weeks, but what can we do? can't keep 'em locked up in the house! We just make sure now that we take and pick up and no sleepovers.

i used to go clubbing at 16, got bored of it by the time i was 18
i was actually quite a good teen too tbh, probably why my parents never suspected it

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Dont think Im overreacting Not when she ended up in A and E a couple of years back with alcoholic poisining

oh well thats a different story sorry i dont know what to suggest x

quote:

Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Getting into clubs and drinking at the age of 16. Told me she was staying at her mates, and I believed her. AGAIN Feel a total fool AGAIN

Eeeeek, the rebellious little teen stage!!! Mine hasn't reached that (yet... she is 14...) But my mates's 2 daughters HAVE - they are 17 and 15. I hope she will be OK. It is hard knowing what to do for the best. Best to just be there when she needs you I guess and try and let her do what she wants within reason, but it's so hard isn't it... ? we don't wanna be like gestapo, but don't wanna be too slack either. I am sorry to hear this LMS.

Just feel like crap. Cant believe shes been lying to me again. Nowonder she turns her bloody phone onto answafone so often, Id be able to hear if she was in a nightclub

quote:

Originally posted by Darthhoob:
i used to go clubbing at 16, got bored of it by the time i was 18
i was actually quite a good teen too tbh, probably why my parents never suspected it

You wee rebel you! i started drinking at 16/17 at our local pub (the rules and law was much slacker then,) but I used to go with my cousin and dad. Didn't start going 'clubbing' til 18/19.

Photos of her draped over MUCH OLDER GUYS arms

quote:

Dont think Im overreacting Shake Head Not when she ended up in A and E a couple of years back with alcoholic poisining

Aaawwwww LMS You must be worried to death about her.
You are not overreacting at all - you have very genuine reasons to be concerned.

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:Just feel like crap. Cant believe shes been lying to me again. Nowonder she turns her bloody phone onto answafone so often, Id be able to hear if she was in a nightclub

I'm really sorry sweetie She is so naughty! LOL ... guess I have it all to come..... As I said though, most lasses (and some lads) are the same, trying to push the boundaries, break the rules, be an adult. WHY they wanna be an adult so soon eludes me. You're a LONG time an adult and a short time a child. They should cherish that time and quit trying to be grown up! It's true that old saying; 'youth is wasted on the young!'

I waited till I was 18 this year , awww LMS some of the underage kids fool the bouncers because they look older than they are and they ain't going to know they're underage. Most of them now ask for passports though. I was cringing last time I went out and there was some kids in there who were clearly underage .

Why not let her go but insist she has to come back home at a certain time and in a reasonable state.

quote:

Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:

quote:

Originally posted by Darthhoob:
i used to go clubbing at 16, got bored of it by the time i was 18
i was actually quite a good teen too tbh, probably why my parents never suspected it

You wee rebel you! i started drinking at 16/17 at our local pub (the rules and law was much slacker then,) but I used to go with my cousin and dad. Didn't start going 'clubbing' til 18/19.

i was far from a rebel really, well i went clubbing with my mates at 16, and got a tattoo done after my mum told me not to...other than that i was an angel
i never really got drunk till my mates 18th though (2 months before i was 18). that was a family meal in a posh restaurant with posh family....then drinks and nibbles at their house. i woke up at 5am bright as day but with no pants on and sick down my cardy....apparently i passed out in the loo with my tights and pants round my ankles....and their bathroom mat was hanging on the line
was responsible with booze since lol.

LMS have you considered going round to all the clubs with a photo of your daughter so they know she is underage? They may not want to risk their licenses.

quote:

Originally posted by darloboy07:
I waited till I was 18 this year , awww LMS some of the underage kids fool the bouncers because they look older than they are and they ain't going to know they're underage. Most of them now ask for passports though. I was cringing last time I went out and there was some kids in there who were clearly underage .

Theyre meant to ask for id fgs!! She is lethal with alcohol. Dont know when to stop. AT 16 fgs! Where did I go wrong? I dont even drink anymore. Well, unless its Christmas, when I might have a glass of wine. Stopped drinking nearly 5 years ago, didnt like the way my head felt the day after. Dont even like the taste now

quote:

Originally posted by Blackpudlian:
LMS have you considered going round to all the clubs with a photo of your daughter so they know she is underage? They may not want to risk their licenses.

Went to one place last year, when she had only just turned 15, when I went through all the crap with her father etc etc (l-o-n-g story) Have now phoned up the place she was at Saturday and theyre getting back to me.

Totts

It's the age I'm afraid hun, hopefully she'll get bored of it.
Get Aaron Lennon or one of the JLS boys to have a word with her
She'd probably listen to them

laters guys thanks for the input

Both my daughters were doing the same thing when they were 16. I stopped them from staying at friends houses and told them I would check up on where they told me they were going - which I did.

quote:

Originally posted by MoFo:
Why not let her go but insist she has to come back home at a certain time and in a reasonable state.

This is what my mum did. I had to be home straight after the clubs closed, in bed soon as I got in (alone) and if I was pissed I wasn't allowed to go the next week.

LMS's situation sounds a bit more serious though. A&E for alcohol poisoning. I take it she got her stomach pumped? Obviously didn't learn from it though.

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Dont think Im overreacting Not when she ended up in A and E a couple of years back with alcoholic poisining

My niece did the same thing at 15. Luckily it seemed to frighten her and even though she still drinks its in front of her mum (she's 17 now) and I think she has learned her limits

quote:

Originally posted by Cagney:

quote:

Originally posted by MoFo:
Why not let her go but insist she has to come back home at a certain time and in a reasonable state.

This is what my mum did. I had to be home straight after the clubs closed, in bed soon as I got in (alone) and if I was pissed I wasn't allowed to go the next week.

LMS's situation sounds a bit more serious though. A&E for alcohol poisoning. I take it she got her stomach pumped? Obviously didn't learn from it though.

I agree with this...the more out of bounds you make it the more she'll want to do it and go mad with the drink when she gets the chance.

When I was young it was the norm for most people to start clubbing at 15/16...I know I did.

quote:

Originally posted by MoFo:
Why not let her go but insist she has to come back home at a certain time and in a reasonable state.

That's what I used to do.
I was 16, looked older and had a lot of older mates - of course I wanted to go with them.

My parents didn't object as long as I got the last train home and wasn't too steaming. The fact that I liked a drink but knew the rules kept me in check.

I wouldn't trust any photo's either as they can be very misleading.

I used to go clubbing from the age of 15 so I must have put my mum through what you are going through But on my 16th birthday my dad said I could drink when I went out if I got ready in their house so they'd know what I drank before going out and they'd only give me a tenner to go out with and I had to be home at 1am no matter what time the clubs closed at. It worked.

My parents let me drink in the house when I was 16 but they struck lucky in the fact that while all my mates went clubbing , little emo girl here couldn't stand the thought of it so apart from drinking on the common I was home and safe.
Sit her down LMS if she has already had alcohol poisoning she should have learnt that lesson the hard way, make sure she knows you aren't trying to stop her having fun but that you are trying to keep her safe.

If it was Growly Jnr, I would have a real problem with lying about where she was rather than with the drinking, although I appreciate that having to go to A&E is very extreme. Growly Jnr doesn't mix with the type of people who would go to clubs, but I don't mind her drinking when she's out or going to a pub, so long as I know where she is. AT 16 she is legally allowed to drink alcohol. I know that she smokes weed, but I think just about all teenagers do, and I don't have a problem with that so long as she doesn't bring any into the house. In terms of boyfriends, I MUCH prefer my daughter to be with older people rather than boys her own age. We had far more problems with her when she was going out with 15 and 16 year olds, but her current boyfriend is 18, and most of his friends are in their early 20s, and I think that the extra few years makes such a difference. I think all you can do is try to get your daughter to be truthful about where she is going, and if she is drinking, make sure she always carries some condoms.

LMS - Do you check with her mate`s mum that she`s actually there? And is it the mate`s mum that lets them go out to clubs?

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Totts

It's the age I'm afraid hun, hopefully she'll get bored of it.
Get Aaron Lennon or one of the JLS boys to have a word with her
She'd probably listen to them

veggie, sad thing is she probably would listen to them! Am so tempted to tell her to pack her stuff and go live with that useless lump of a "father" of hers, but seeing as he thinks the ideal present for her birthday was a litre bottle of vodka, think I'll just keep my mouth shut Have already lost it a bit today, and its not helped of course.Stupid, stupid girl urghhh!

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Totts

It's the age I'm afraid hun, hopefully she'll get bored of it.
Get Aaron Lennon or one of the JLS boys to have a word with her
She'd probably listen to them

veggie, sad thing is she probably would listen to them! Am so tempted to tell her to pack her stuff and go live with that useless lump of a "father" of hers, but seeing as he thinks the ideal present for her birthday was a litre bottle of vodka, think I'll just keep my mouth shut Have already lost it a bit today, and its not helped of course.Stupid, stupid girl urghhh!

LMS can't give advice, as no kids of my own, but here have this, you need it.

quote:

Originally posted by miss lippy:
Both my daughters were doing the same thing when they were 16. I stopped them from staying at friends houses and told them I would check up on where they told me they were going - which I did.

Have done this before. Now Im geting the "Im 16, I can do what I like" line. Have already told her before that like it or not, till she's 18 she'll have to live by my rules, but unless I physically chain her to the doors dont quite know how Im meant to stop her doing this sort of stuff.

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:
Have already told her before that like it or not, till she's 18 she'll have to live by my rules, but unless I physically chain her to the doors dont quite know how Im meant to stop her doing this sort of stuff.

You may not be able to stop her (and that's what's so maddening about 16yr olds) but you can make it uncomfortable for her at home.

No special toiletries, no lifts, no funds.....stuff like that can make life very difficult for them.

The most effective (with my girl) is NO laundry.
She's so cack handed - can't iron for her life and is terrified of the washing machine (cos she thinks she'll shrink her clothes - not that I ever put that idea into her head.....)

quote:

Originally posted by Jeggo:
LMS - Do you check with her mate`s mum that she`s actually there? And is it the mate`s mum that lets them go out to clubs?

Have already had a bit of a do on the phone with one of her mates mums. Another long story, but I went through the mill BIG TIME with my girl last year and she was drinking etc. I spoke to this girls mum on the phone who told me she "allows her daughter to drink, dont have a problem with it" I will add that at the time, both girls were only just coming up to their 15th birthday and had got drunk on vodka- Not just drunk, totally off their faces!! Im afraid I told her that I thought she was totally irresponsible if she has seen her daughter in that state and still thinks it ok for her to drink to that extent etc etc and that I most certainly DID have a problem with it

LMS, I know we don't see eye to eye over the HMs, but I understand how you feel. It's so difficult when your children get to an age when punishment is just shrugged off because they know it doesn't really affect them anymore. Keep letting her know that you disapprove, she still needs the boundaries even though she doesn't know it. If you don't, she will really go off the rails. Keep talking, even if it is through the slammed bedroom door.