It's the way ya tell 'em Renton!

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Jamie, don't scream, Jamie, don't yell, Jamie keep calm, Jamie."


A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Jamie."


The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Jamie."

That rates in my top ten of the worst jokes..ever! 

A man goes to bed & reaches over to his wife. He starts sliding his hand slowly across her shoulders, then down her side just glancing her breasts, then carries on down her sides and legs. He parts her legs apart &  slwly runs his hand  up and down the inner side of her thighs. He moves back towards the top and stops. His wife gasps "Why have you stopped?", he replies, "I've found the remote, now go back to sleep!".

Hahahahaha Pooly