iv fell out with hubby over daughter

Topics

Tina

she moved out 2 months ago
hubby says i cant cope with her strops
she wants to move back
i said to hubby my kids come 1st move out
am right?

Replies sorted oldest to newest

sandraMember

yes your right

7/29/092:59 PM

kazzyMember

how old is your daughter tina?

7/29/093:00 PM

Dame_Ann_AverageMember VIP10 years

I couldn't turn my back on my kids either, so yes I think you're bang on!

7/29/093:00 PM

skiveMember

What an awful situation Tina, my instinct would be the kids first too. I hope it sorts out for you.

7/29/093:00 PM

stooryMember

Is he her Dad, or her step dad?

7/29/093:00 PM

TinaMember

thanks kids come 1st yes

quote:
Originally posted by madamski:
yes your right

7/29/093:01 PM

MathematicsMember

I guess the question is, why does your daughter want or need to move back?

If there are good enough reasons, such as poverty or illness, then there is no question. Your husband can lump it.

7/29/093:01 PM

AntichristMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
she moved out 2 months ago
hubby says i cant cope with her strops
she wants to move back
i said to hubby my kids come 1st move out
am right?

How old is your daughter ?

7/29/093:01 PM

sandraMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
thanks kids come 1st yes
quote:
Originally posted by madamski:
yes your right

always

7/29/093:02 PM

lorraineshereMember

well..... depends how old she is ...and why she wants to move back ....they have to compromise and you cant give in to either of them

its a bugger of a situation but i understand how hard it is ..... what i finally realised was that both mine were actually manipulating me and what i really wanted , which was a peaceful life , and my ultimatum was 'play nicely or you can both bugger off'

7/29/093:02 PM

TinaMember

its her dad yes they just dont get on that much

quote:
Originally posted by stoory:

Is he her Dad, or her step dad?

7/29/093:03 PM

lorraineshereMember

i'd like to just add ..... it has worked after a few trials and tribulations and we are all happy now .... good luck

7/29/093:04 PM

Former Member

I seriously hope your husband doesn't leave. Talk it through with him and talk it through with your daughter - maybe tell her how he feels. It might keep her "strops" to the minimum as I'm sure she wouldn't want to see you both separate.

Good luck!

7/29/093:04 PM

LindsxdxMember

Hope you can sort it out. I have no kids so I really don't know how you feel, has he got a point, does she have bad strops? If its his house too perhaps you could find a way to talk to him about it when things are calmer.

My step Dad moved into our house but he has lived there that long that it is his house too now, I would respect that if I wanted to move home.

7/29/093:05 PM

sandraMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
its her dad yes they just dont get on that much
quote:
Originally posted by stoory:

Is he her Dad, or her step dad?

doesnt matter if you need your mum thats it .. unconditional love

7/29/093:05 PM

TinaMember

quote:
Originally posted by Antichrist:
quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
she moved out 2 months ago
hubby says i cant cope with her strops
she wants to move back
i said to hubby my kids come 1st move out
am right?
How old is your daughter ?

7/29/093:05 PM

Former Member

She hasn't been able to make a go of it on her own, so the ground rules change, if and when she moves back in, and you let her know that you and her Dad will support her but.......he does deserve a say in things! Who's to say she won't move out again within a week and leave you two at loggerheads. This needs a family pow -wow!

7/29/093:06 PM

Soozy WooMember

Very sad ...............you haven't said how old your daughter is. Yes kids come first but ....once they reach a certain age and independence perhaps you need to see you OH's POV. it is very dependent on age and indeed circumstance.

7/29/093:06 PM

lorraineshereMember

20 .... ok a bit old for tantrums lol ....
is there no ground for negotiations ?

7/29/093:07 PM

TinaMember

hes gone to bed in a strop my kids ar 4 live

quote:
Originally posted by madamski:
quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
its her dad yes they just dont get on that much
quote:
Originally posted by stoory:

Is he her Dad, or her step dad?

doesnt matter if you need your mum thats it .. unconditional love

7/29/093:07 PM

ilovewillyoungMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tiddly~Wink:
She hasn't been able to make a go of it on her own, so the ground rules change, if and when she moves back in, and you let her know that you and her Dad will support her but.......he does deserve a say in things! Who's to say she won't move out again within a week and leave you two at loggerheads. This needs a family pow -wow!

This is the only post i agree with on this thread,her dad must have a say in this too

7/29/093:09 PM

stooryMember

quote:
Originally posted by madamski:
quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
its her dad yes they just dont get on that much
quote:
Originally posted by stoory:

Is he her Dad, or her step dad?

doesnt matter if you need your mum thats it .. unconditional love

I think it can be a factor, but... yes your right in the unconditional part.

7/29/093:10 PM

MentalistMember

To be fair he is saying no because he doesn't think you can cope with her tantrums, were they really so bad? I agree with others on here that he has to have his say in this.

7/29/093:16 PM

slimfernMember VIP

Not a nice place to be hun..
I would say children first,but then I hate my OH so tis easy for me to say.

It has to be what's best for all concerned, how would the other children feel with the atmosphere or if their Daddy moves out..As someone has already posted..a family chat and ground rules need to be decided beforehand.
Perhaps give a deadline for a trial run and then assess the situation again.
Good luck hun...

7/29/093:18 PM

TinaMember

i dont get my self some times

7/29/093:19 PM

sandraMember

imagine going to your mum with a problem and she says nothing ,,, go see your dad ( btw my mum died 9yrs ago maybe my judgment is clouded ) i'm off to bed now , *sob*

7/29/093:19 PM

TinaMember

forget this

7/29/093:20 PM

TinaMember

thats why im sad no mum

quote:
Originally posted by madamski:
imagine going to your mum with a problem and she says nothing ,,, go see your dad ( btw my mum died 9yrs ago maybe my judgment is clouded ) i'm off to bed now , *sob*

7/29/093:21 PM

stooryMember

She needs you, and your input, or she wouldn't have asked.

Twenty is still young , and selfish to anyone elses thoughts or feelings.

She's not considering how this might affect you and your husband.

All she can see at her age ...is her.

That's not intended as a slight , but just the way of the world.

You have a long time left to be be with your husband...She will make her own way in the world.

If you value your relationship give it a lot of thought.

Acouple of months of turbulence is a lifetime to a young person, but a life on your own for the sake of what might be a bit of teenage angst.......

I wish you good luck

7/29/093:22 PM

slimfernMember VIP

quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
i dont get my self some times

It's easy to get confused where your children are concerned..Love blinds don't ya know..

I'm sure you'll make the right choices hun..be strong

7/29/093:23 PM

shar69Member

You and your husband brought your daughter into this world. Maybe remind your husband of this. Your daughter is 20, her strops should be calming down somewhat now (unless they are menstral). We have a girl that lives with us, she is 22 now, we took her in when she was 17. She moved out 2 years ago and came back after 5 months, she couldn't afford to live by herself. There was no qualms about her moving back in. She didn't strop half as much after she moved back in. She was much more appreciative after experiences the cost of living. Good luck, hope everything works itself out, it normally does.

7/29/093:23 PM

Former Member

Kids eh?
Drive you to drink

No advice from me just a big hug for you hun

7/29/093:24 PM

TinaMember

thanks slim

quote:
Originally posted by slimfern:
quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
i dont get my self some times

It's easy to get confused where your children are concerned..Love blinds don't ya know..
I'm sure you'll make the right choices hun..be strong

7/29/093:25 PM

MoonieMember VIP10 years

I'm not gonna offer advice cause I int got no kids but I wish you the best of luck Fi

Always around if you wanna chat. I hope things work out for you and the family

7/29/093:25 PM

TinaMember

quote:
Originally posted by shar69:
You and your husband brought your daughter into this world. Maybe remind your husband of this. Your daughter is 20, her strops should be calming down somewhat now (unless they are menstral). We have a girl that lives with us, she is 22 now, we took her in when she was 17. She moved out 2 years ago and came back after 5 months, she couldn't afford to live by herself. There was no qualms about her moving back in. She didn't strop half as much after she moved back in. She was much more appreciative after experiences the cost of living. Good luck, hope everything works itself out, it normally does.

7/29/093:26 PM

TinaMember

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thaks moonie

quote:
Originally posted by moonie:
I'm not gonna offer advice cause I int got no kids but I wish you the best of luck Fi
Always around if you wanna chat. I hope things work out for you and the family

7/29/093:27 PM

TinaMember

yeah i have to

quote:
Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Kids eh?
Drive you to drink

No advice from me just a big hug for you hun

7/29/093:28 PM

MoonieMember VIP10 years

quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thaks moonie
quote:
Originally posted by moonie:
I'm not gonna offer advice cause I int got no kids but I wish you the best of luck Fi
Always around if you wanna chat. I hope things work out for you and the family

You're more than welcome

7/29/093:29 PM

TinaMember

always can count on you

quote:
Originally posted by moonie:
quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thaks moonie
quote:
Originally posted by moonie:
I'm not gonna offer advice cause I int got no kids but I wish you the best of luck Fi
Always around if you wanna chat. I hope things work out for you and the family

You're more than welcome

7/29/093:30 PM

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