Slap John James and tell him to shut the hell up about what he thinks the results will be!!!!!!

Tell Dave he's going to hell.
Tell John James the Home Office want to deport him.
Tell Sam to pack in all the 'pranks'.

Tell Barbie Boy I'm here to return the compliment,when he said eff the public,as a member of the public I want to say eff you.

Looking at Dave now on LF and listening to his fake smug laugh, i would love to smack him a shot

I would happily back up all the previous posters.
Particularly, I hate the prospect of spending the next days listening to who they think will go and who they think will stay.
I'm not interested in their opinions.

To be honest I wouldn't trust myself at the moment...but if I stayed calm enough I'd probably ask JJ1 &2, Dave and Sam if they were born knobs or just spending time trying their utmost to be knobs and is that their only achievement in life 

Oh this is easy squiggle.

I would go up to Dave and tell him what a nasty little man he is.  I would then get his bible and shove it somewhere where his voice comes from - and it is not his mouth

I would find a sock to stuff in JJ's mouth
Tell Sam that he hasn't got ADHD, he's just another spoilt brat that needs firm discipline
Punch Dave in the 'belly' and ask him if he feels that 'glory'
Tell Andrew not to be such a little crawler.

and just to be totally eebul.....Tell Josie that her backside looks enormous on TV

and add to JJ 1&2, and Dave, instead of talking evictions, nominations 24/7 and tearing other house mates to bits, you just might have enjoyed better.

I'd also tell John James his boyfriend has been selling stories about him.

KT he may not have it but the kids who do aren't spoilt brats,they're missing a chemical from their brains apparently or from what I have read about it...I'm trying to overdose on caffeine atm,feel exhausted so hope it kicks in soon.

Never said they were Lee.....but Sam doesn't have it, he's just an irritating little attention seeker who knows exactly what he's doing. I don't buy excuses for what is plainly bad behaviour and premeditated bad behaviour at that

Oh!.....and that his fellow Aussie males think that guyliner is a very bad idea

Brilliant answers so far,  let's get a minibus and go

Can we fit a rocket launcher on the roof?

I would sooner fit a window in the roof and an ejector seat on the DR chair, and then we could select our targets (starting with Dave and John James) Hee hee.

Fit irremoveable boxing gloves to Josie.
Take John James's guyliner.
Close Sam's lips.

Well l'm ready to go in.

And words out in Oz,he's now banned from all teen discos.

You will need that gear on LL, the house is stinking

I would put all the clips of Dave from youtube on in the house and watch their faces

I'd tell Dave I had an incurable illness and I needed one of his miracles.  Then after I'd hold my breath until I pegged it.  Just to prove him wrong.

Pity you wouldn't be around to see his reaction.

I would Bitch slap Monk Dave, then position his big head, carefully near my arse...And do a long watery fart right in his mouth...

I'd show Josie JJ1's "Speedo" pics from his Mr Gay Australia competition last year...

I am pleased i do not upset you.

 

What!.

FM's never do upset me...Fraudulent, Evil, Greedy, Shit Stirring, Monks do...

Touches corner of kmy nose..nods and winks at Lee..

Ahh,are you jesting or being serious madam?

Still nodding and winking...

I'd just go in and set about kicking balls. My legs would get sore going between Dave and JJ1 but they wouldn't be as sore as their balls would be by the end of it.


I'm not violent or hateful but I violently hate those two!

Me too, feel exactly the same.

I would tell them that the public were voting for who they wanted to win in the first week. So Racheal has won the £100,000 and that you are all in here for us to mock....except you Sam Pepper.

Twenty years plus.

 

Brilliant

i would nip in while they were sleeping, drug Crab eyes...then Tattoo  "RUN JOSIE RUN!!"  on his forehead

then as an afterthought, tattoo the word "TWAT" on Dave's and a couple of wavy lines where Corin's eyebrow's should be .