...   I have NEVER eaten Bambi... so how would I know! .... oh actually I have... Bambi burgers at the height of the mad cow scare!.... but they got covered in burger sauce!

You ate Bambi's twice removed cousin?

I was in a restaurant in France once and having failed to translate the menu was told it was **cue flapping motions with elbows** "Beeeg cheeeken". So we ordered the turkey. That's big chicken yes? Except when it arrived it deffo wasn't turkey. Still we were hungry...

Turned out it was ostrich. A bloody big chicken I think you'll agree.

Good job he never offered you beeeg chicken'e egg!

There's a joke in there  ^^^^.  A rude joke.    

Sweet Jesus, don't tempt me * quivvers at gag-machine *   

Ate Ostrich burgers when the beef scare was on as well!   Chewy!

I'd say redcurrent jelly

I've probably covered them all but go on...

Can I just say it was ostrich loin and cooked rare. It was bloody gorgeous...

* faints *

Oh Christ, Cariad, desist before I shower you in appalling filth. 

*** checks no one else has fallen for it ***

What's a mattadeer?

Nuffin.

 You sounded English then!

Why thank you.

Have you been reading the Loripedia again?

Is this like some gender reversed 'My Fair Lady'

I have not been to the Loripedia in a while. Will go there now.

Loripedia "Our take on the word"

I remember reading that the Oracle at Delphi used to go into her prophetic trance by chewing bay leaves. I think you'd have to eat a fair-sized shrub full, though. 

Just how many leaves does one estimate would have to be chewed to slip into said trance?

I'm fucked so I'd say roughly one.  Give or take. 

Oh you can swear here...hmmm....

So you can.  I never noticed.

Motherfucker, shite etc.

I am going out.  With a hand bag.  And my bayleaf. 

You're still alive then?

You should eat a little muslin bag and some parsley and thyme, you can be a human bouquet garni.

I have nothing to add to this thread but just to tell you I am PMSL at all the replies!

I'm going to write to George Lamb and suggest a documentary.

I caught my 11 year old watching that.  I'm a terrible mother

I did a stealth thread on it.... at about 3am weeks ago.... thought it had quietly gone away....

and I find that is has been selected as a special Ditty thread to be pinned to my profile for ever!   Along with the "my 10 yr old son has just run past me" thread.

Who selected these to be kept as momentos!

I bet you were chewing bayleaves at the time!

*** write to Jeremy Kyle Show ***

Someone is taking notes - beware!

*** adds to Ditty's file ***

I should be glad it wasn't the innocent, "Anyone buy stuff from Lush" one....

That one got nasty!   I only wanted to discuss soap n bubble bath!

 I missed that one!

You never know how they are going to turn out though.
I blame the bayleaf chewers and bad mothers, like Leccy!

Time will tell.... if he starts wearing 3/4 trousers, a bow tie, sandals and pan stick.... then its on your shoulders!

I don't chew bayleaves, I chews tabaccer, darn tootin' I does *spits*

Me an Cleatus chews the finest tabbecer like real gentlefolk.

Too late

i dont think i like bayleafs, i wouldnt want to have to chew on one