I am always amazed by how many people do actually suffer like this. It is so sad that we can feel ashamed or embarrassed by how we feel in general. Whilst I obviously wouldn't wish any kind of mental illness on anyone, it has been very comforting to know that I am not the only one and that I'm not going mad!  I'm sure many others have felt like this after talking either in person or on-line to others who are living with any kind of mental illness. Mine is an anxiety issue too....fed by my fear of vomit and diarrhea....when the bugs strike I barely leave home and become very withdrawn and introverted....


So, LB, so many of us have these kinds of issues....although, as Ditty said, yours are way beyond mine....still, the smallest thing can become the biggest hurdle.....please try and take some strength from knowing that people do understand and that we are always about for a chat. I sincerely hope you go to the docs and ask for their help....sending you mahooosive cyber hugs xxxxxx

So sorry to hear how you are feeling Lazybug.


You will get yourself out of this -  believe me, I know.


Finding someone to talk to is of the utmost importance even if it's us forum members.


Just don't bottle everything up and please stay positive.

I've had a two bouts of depression,both after close family deaths.The first time was after  my dad,who collapsed in front of me.I thought I was fine then three months after that..wallop! I was off work for a year and was treated by a psychiatrist etc. I had another bout about five years ago when I  literally took to my bed and stopped eating.I was nearly sectioned,that was a year after my mum died..So for anyone out there, and their families that think you or they are coping,just speak out and ask for help..if you can.

Awwww Lazybug You must get some help  sweetheart.... Humungous

Lazybug  I can`t add anymore to what`s been said, but know that I`m thinking about you.

Lazy bug - there has been some lovely posts so can't add anything except that you always seem a lovely person  - so lots of for you - hope you get the help you need and feel better soon

I have read through this entire thread and ...........it just makes me realise how lucky I am. Everyone has problems in their life from time to time but ....I just thank God (truly) for three healthy children and two gorgeous grandsons ...................................life isn't always fabulous but - we should never take for granted what good fortune we have.

Amen sooz

hya    i have not posted in a while because i feel the same as you ,   i feel bad that i told my nephew i accept him being gay  but ii wont go and  support him , my son is in the army  and doesnt  keep in touch as much since he got married , my 12 yr partner told me to eff off lol    i'm deppressed

aww - just popped back in the thread  and Katty a for you as well

Awwwwwwwwwwwww ..........as we get older life does get more complicated. When our kids were young we had control - they get older and things happen. All I would say is - why not meet your nephew (and partner?) ...................................my sons gay and of all my kids I have the best relationship with him and simply adore his partner. Keep the lines of communication open with your soldier son and communicate regularly ..............it will come right in the end I'm sure.

 Tell your 12 year partner to eff off too if he is that disrespectful.....................................................We all have down times - and I guess a lot of us get depressed too ............change what you can .........and if you can't change things try and accept. Actually ....................I guess I should simply shut up (I've had a few tonight). Good luck though .......things might look different tomorrow 

Lazybug, I read your blog and my heart goes out to you. 

I am sure your friend understands why you perhaps behaved as you did, however I don't think you should worry unduly about this row.  What you need to concentrate on is yourself and your well being.  Please seek some professional advice as soon as posssible.

madamski!

Also to Katty, Pink, Veggie, Madam, MrsB and Dirtypretty

i did think i could do it , i went to a gay club with him , my sis fell out with me , then i was freaked out .............. i feel shit  ,,, i did say i'll be there for you ............. but i'm not

Perhaps it would be easier if you invited your nephew and his boyfriend round for dinner along with other family and friends rather than trying to embrace their social scene. At least with lots of other people around it would mean they wouldn't feel like they were the focus of attention.

oh i wish    was so easy  ............... my dad is 78   .......... wont have it ....... i feel like a wee turncoat   .................

Ta Buttocks! 

i'm in a position that i work with the arsehole............. he thinks he owns me ,  i need to make a new life but 12 yr is a long time

The older generation certainly seem less tolerant than the younger ones.  I am sure your nephew understands your situation with your Dad and sister.

Being there for him is .............just being there for a chat ..................a shoulder to cry on and an ear for listening. God forbid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never gone clubbing with my son but we do go out for dinners etc. It's not all about 'gay clubbing' etc......................................they do have a life outside that too and I'm sure he'd love to meet up/chat/simply have contact without you having to fully embrace and submerge yourself into the gay scene .........it's only a small part of his life after all.

aw sooz   i love him  , but i'm tooooooooooo old for clubbin   lol

he cuddles me more than ma granwean lol   a love  him

Thanks to all..you get there in the end.I'm fine now.well as fine as any of us can be.Actually my time frame was out by about five years,my last bout was nearly ten years ago.,lost five years...ooer!

am lost ............. fill me in  while i eat ma dinna   xx

Now that's tricky ..................maybe look for a new job ..........I know it sounds daft but that's a starting point and ......................my daughter just finished a relationship after eleven years (actually he just walked out) for ten to twelve weeks it was absoloutely horrendous and I thought she'd never ever get over it. I was soooooooooooooooooooooooo worried .......she's been seeing another guy now for about six weeks and she's the happiest I've seen her in a long time.

 Change is hard .............we cling on for fear of the unknown but ..............if it's not right - take stock and make plans to change. It'll probably be horrible and uncomfortable at first but ....................it may end up for the best. Don't hang on to something that's making you unhappy ...................life is too short.

i do feel  terrible   ........... but not suicidal . *like i used too*      time is a great healer x

Aww I've really missed you Madamski     Trouble with the internet is we never really know what's going on with peoples life 



Lazybug.........I really don't know what to say to you     You've had some really good advice here......I'm thinking about you, and I.really want you to get the help you need, and deserve.

Your partner sounds really supportive.......let him read this thread, and see what he thinks.

awwwwwwwwwwwwww stoory   great to know your there for me  xx  i was in a bad place but im fighing it  .............. xxx

Wha . . . ?

Oooh LAZYBUG - i'm so sorry - i posted that cos i really didn't kow wot you have been through. Very very very sorry indeed

Still thinking of you LB, I really hope you are ok, i keep checking this forum (even though i hadn't been very much recently)  to see if you have replied.

Lazybug

All I can offer LB is a

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for you kind words and hugs, it means so much.  Ditty, I was amazed when I read your post hun and wish  you all the luck in getting back out to work, it just shows how we perceive people from here, because I would never, ever have believed that you had gone through all that.  Veggie hun, glad to hear you are feeling a little better.

The lovely, kind replies on here just show what a nice group of people post on here.  I have had a few bad days lately, my husband was involved in an accident in March, he was sitting parked up in his car awaiting a job and a works van drove into the back of him, moving his car about 50 yards down the road.  Thankfully he was not seriously injured, just neck and arm injuries, but his car was written off.  He has had the use of a hire car for the last 13 weeks, but as the claim on his car has now been sorted out, the hire car has gone back and he is in the process of finding another car to work in.  Our local council has very strict rules for Private Hire vehicles and it has been a worry, because basically we are going to have to have quite large repayments on the new car and he is now not able to work so we are living off savings.  This has been churning round in my head for the last week and I have not been sleeping well and yesterday broke down and had a really good cry, it did help a little but hasn't taken the worry away..... I have an appointment at my lovely doctors Monday and think I will be given a course of anti depressants again.  LB, this is no way as bad as your situation or others on here, but it has left me on the downward slope towards the black tunnel of depression again.

Oh my goodness - You are all such amazing and wonderful people. I feel so touched that you all taken the time to reply and give me support and encouragement.

I'm over whelmed.

I am going to go to the doctor and ask for help. I realize that now. I had anti depressants when Katelyn died and then after the twins died I tried to cope on my own and ended up a jibbering wreck so went on them again but since being pregnant with Chloe I didn't have them anymore...

It's 4 years since I was on them and with circumstances as they are I think I need to be reassessed.

So many of you have got your crosses to bear and the help that is given on here is phenomenal.

I'm having a better few days. I had to go to a funeral yesterday which didn't help my mood but I'm trying to pull myself out of my hole and do something positive.

Thank you all again you are all wonderful!!!

And Renton - You do make me smile even on my down days for some reason you make me smile or laugh with your posts  Apology accepted x

Lazybug 

you know we're here if you need us x

Glad youa re going to get some help Lazybug, and that you are feeling a little better

Aah glad to see you're feeling upbeat LB, good luck with the doctor and what keeps you going is that your kids wouldn't want to see you upset, they want to see you happy but of course things do happen sometimes that we don't like yet have to try and get on with it when the feeling bad days are gone

Lazy, good to hear from you again, and good to hear you feeling a bit better.

Even better to hear that you are going to seek more help. Don't wait until it's bad again, you hear?