Are you sure this is why she won't get married?

Or are you putting 2 and 2 together?

 

 

Pirate, if she thought you were a scrounger why would she be with you married or not? She's obviously with you because that's where she wants to be  

I agree with Dame She's with you and she must love you, so forget the rings

You need to sit down and talk to your girlfriend and tell her your worries. If it bothers you that much then you both need to sit down and talk to her parents too. Get it all out. Don't presume. It'll eat away at you. Get the truth even if the truth may hurt.  

 

And to answer your question...yes I've felt like shit. When my partner of 10 years went on a stag night then phoned me to tell me he wasn't ready to be a dad to our 5 year old twin girls. "nothing to do with you babe but I can't be doing with the dad thing. It's f**king my head up". Charming eh? We survived though and you will too if you face it head on. Ask the questions and put your mind at rest

f*ck me it gets better

she aspergers

 

her mate just told me

i f*cking KNEW there was summat wrong

 

its

mad wtf

 

its all a bit mad at the mo

read what you say tomorrow

 

its odd this is

 

thank you for answering

Aww Pirate, I'm sure she's with you because she loves you.

Her mate sounds like a right charmer pirate ... don't listen

Aspergers isn't a bad thing pirate

 

My nephew has it and he's fine. He gets a bit obsessive about things but apart from that he's no different from any other child. It's a label but as I tell my sister in law....you can label one person not an entire generation.

 

Get a good nights sleep and deal with it tomorrow with a fresh head. I hope it works out for you both

I hope you feel less stressed tomorrow pirate, do talk it through with her

 

 

just what I was thinking Rexi 

yep... bit of a shit stirrer by the sound of it.    Pirate, Cags has said it all - talk to your OH - you need to be honest and at least you;ll know what you're dealing with.     As for the aspy thing.. that's no biggie, surely, having a 'label' isn't going to make her a different person she's still your OH.   Hope you get it sorted 

I hope you can talk it through with your OH and sort it out Pirate.

If you've been together for years then you must have a bond thats pretty strong and other people shouldn't meddle like that "mate" did.

*Echoes what everyone else has said* 

 

You need to talk it over with your OH Pirate.  It's your lives and not theirs  

Sorry you're having problems Pirate But I agree with everyone else , you need to talk it through .

jumped back here

 

her mate is honest

 

worried i am

 

night night

But you still have to talk to your OH about it   

Date her mate then.

 

Doesn't seem like you have a lot of faith in your girlfriend. If you're prepared to lose it all without talking to her then maybe you're not ready for a relationship.

talked

told i was wrong

 

dont think i am

off to listen to music

pirate - I understand you might want to commit.

 

But on the other hand - if it ain't broke...

 

Hope it works out okay for ya.

Well done for talking to her pirate, shame you don't feel better for it did she try to reassure you? And did she give a reason for not wanting to get married? Johnny Cash asked June Carter hundreds of times before she finally accepted, hang in there

Hope you can sort things out, Pirate.

ah pirate.. you asked, you need to accept what she says.    Better that she's with you because she wants to be than she thinks she's tied to you by a marriage certificate.    Don't go screwing it up with paranoia.   

As little as I know about relationships, me being on my own an all and looking in from the outside. I agree with Kaffy, especially about the paranoia bit  

Pirate, I won't marry my OH either.  Not because I don't love him or think he's a scrounger or any other reason other than 'if it ain't broke'.

 

I'm sure her family see that you care for her and help her raise her kid(s?) so I'm sure they know you aren't scrounging.  

 

As for the aspergers.....I'm not sure why she never told you, maybe she thought you'd see her in a different light or run off thinking it would be a lot to handle?  

 

kaffy & sprout youre right

and thank you for answers/comments

 

i'll ride this one out

 

id still like to get married though

 

human nature innit

That's the spirit She's still your girl pirate

my sister's mate's been with her man for over 40 years.. he kept proposing, she kept saying no....    he asked her a couple of weeks before her 60th birthday and she said 'Ok then'   I'm not sure who was most shocked, him, the kids, or her.    Lovely story though I thought - so don't give up, you never know - and there's Ells as proof that it genuinely doesn't matter to some women.  You're a good guy pirate, and I'm sure your OH knows what she's got 

Pirate I do understand though why you're pissed off, not telling you about the aspergers is something that would confuse me too.  I'd like to hope that honesty and trust are the basis of all good relationships and when you find out your OH has kept something like that from you then you've every reason to question it.

 

Night night x