You thought of trying the internet?

Chipping Norton?

Is that a seccsy practice?

Switchboard are completely confidential, Mickey and they should be supportive. I hope it helps.

As for telling others, it's a real shame that there's not someone you can trust enough to confide in. Being alone in this is so difficult - I remember well how it felt. It's hard to know what else to say. All I can think of is to say that it does get better.

My only real experience is a cousin who was terrified of telling his parents, and his brother, and us.

Once he'd told his brother, who was fine about it and told us, who were fine about it, and his parents, who were devastated, at first, but came to accept it and were helped by the fact that everyone else was fine about it, he felt like the weight of the whole world was off his shoulders.

He lives abroad, but his parents, who he was always really close to, especially his mother, visit him regularly and stay with him and his long-term partner.

If you are not close to your dad, them maybe your aim should be to move out first, maybe to a more open minded area, and then tell them, when you are ready.

Don't let it eat you up.

Mickey it must be very difficult for you feeling afraid to tell your parents you are gay, you are their son they may not take it very well to begin with,give them time and I am sure they will be supportive of you,only you can choose when the time feels right to tell them,you may be pleasantly surprised, Peter Cat has given you some good advice and a link for you to talk to someone who will listen to you and give you good advice and try and help you get over your fears, the very best of luck and try not to fret, I hope it will all come good in the end for you

If this is a wind up then it's pretty poor taste 
If it isn't a wind up then a few people in here should be ashamed of themselves 


First time I've logged on here in a while .... I wonder why?

why?

My first thought reading this thread last night were it's a wind up, if it's not then i'm sorry but it's just got that feeling to it, the name, the avi etc. As i said if i'm wrong i'm sorry but i really dont think i am

The way I see it is this, Jen. Being gay and isolated is terribly hard, it really is. That's why I'm taking this thread as genuine. If it turns out to be a wind up then there's no harm done to me, but if it's not then there could be real harm done to the O.P.

If they love you, they'll accept it.

Aww mickey .... just grit your teeth & tell them. I'm sure they probably will be shocked at first, but given time, surely they will be able to come to terms with it. You are thier son & any decent parent should love thier child whatever thier sexual orientation.

I really feel for you ... and I hope they give you lots of love and understanding ... this must be so hard for you x

Fair play to you PC, there is some good advice in this thread. I just hate the thought someone could be using such an emotive subject in this way just so they can sit back and laugh at genuine replies.

Like i find it strange Mickey hasnt said anything at all about the 'funny' replies of those who are taking this as a wind up..... I dont know i'm just gonna shut up now lol

I still think my advice was sound. 

Why when i read this do I think of bubbles?

Thank you all for the advice both genuine and light hearted joking.


I have decided that I, at the age 40 don't need to tell them anything.

Mickey, as a parent of four son's, two of which are gay I'd suggest that your parent's already know you are gay. My eldest son told me when he was 16, my youngest when he was 11.

Do you have any siblings, anyone you can confine in? Support?

You will go through your whole life trying to please people, but it's an impossible task. The secret is to be yourself and be at peace with yourself. Most importantly, never apologies for who you are.
So long as you are a nice human being who you decide to sleep with and which gender is no ones business but your own. 

I would also suggest that once you do tell your loved ones you will feel a huge sense of relief.

Good post, Monkey.

If that's the car you drive, I'd say people could probably already take a wild guess anyway

Is it important to tell them?  You can still be who you are without actually putting a name on it or trying to define it to others.  That way you're not hiding who you are.  My boss always says he never 'came out' to his parents (he's mid 50's so it was a whole different world of prejudices when he was growing up) they just saw him with enough blokes for them to cop

Your dad might surprise you.  But I suppose you'll have to be the judge of whether it's worth the risk or not.

My advice is......get the hell out of your parents flat. 

My brother had a letter come from a doctor to our home address, my Mum was worried & as My brother was away at the time she naughtily opened it - it was a love letter!
She re- sealed it
Dad just said 'oh well, whatever makes him happy' when she told him....

It is my flat.

Tell 'em they can lump it or get evicted then. 

The majority of posts in this thread by 'antiope' are a disgrace frankly, but come as no surprise and he/she has posted like thisbefore, taking the piss out of people.  Makes me wonder who it is.    I doubt this is a wind up to be honest, but it is probably a regular poster under another username who simply doesn't want people to know who he is.  Mickey I think the bext thing to do is find a close friend or close acquaintance that you can confide in, even if it's your doctor, and maybe apporach your family with them.  I hope they accept you.  Some people are bigoted and homophobic to the extreme, and I hope your family aren't like this.  it's bad enough trying to live with peoples attitudes and bigotry, but to have your family on your side makes it a 'bit' more bearable.  Good luck and I hope everything goes well Mickie xxx

Ta. 

Makes me wonder who it is.


Says you of very few posts



The irony.

most people who i know who came out to a parent where mostly met with `yeah we sort of guessed`.... then all was well.... very few who had a negative response. If someone loves you they will accept it x

Mickey speaking as a mother , the gender of who my children love is of little importance really,their happiness takes precedence over everything and your mum may well be of the same opinion,who knows.That aside Brisket and PC have offered some good advice here,I do hope you manage to find the best way forward for yourself,good luck.

Nice post monkey x

I agree with clumsycat.  But from what Mickie said, his family aren't likely to accept him.  Agree that monkey's post was good too ...

I love that! Nosey mums eh?

Can't beat em Jen

She never mentioned it to him till he was ready either 

Meybee Mickles doesn't mean gay in that sense?  Perhaps just jolly and happy and that.  By the sounds of 'is dad I'd be keeping my sunny disposition under wraps too. 

Dear poster,
Try not to worry about it. Everybody's gay these days.

To be sure I don't think Mickey is as "shameless" as he'd like us all to think eh mickey?

I doubt that you're alone there

So reverse the roles. If it was your parents house they'd be within their rights to play the "my house...my rules" card. Seeing as it's your house the same rules apply but in your favour. You're 40 years old. Your father can't just go round beating you up. Phone the police.  I'll be brutally honest and take this thread as serious. If you ARE 40 and still being dictated to by your parents in your own home then I don't hold out much hope for you actually telling them. If you do tell them and get "beatings" then you have to question what quality of life you actually have right now. Would it be worse living the way you do now or get it over with and start to live your life the way you want to.....and possibly be happy and free of "beatings"?

I put up with the mocking and beatings for my mothers sake, she would be the one getting the beatings if I did not have them living with me. My dad scares me and it's only the fear of what will happen to me or my mother if I out myself to them. I know people find it strange that I'm 40 and still live in fear of my father but I'm a lover not a fighter and my dad is twice the size of me and an ex miner. I'm just stuck in a catch 22 situation feeling scared and helpless.

Please don't be offended or angry at the poster who is not taking this seriously I understand how silly to some it may be. To me however it is anything but silly.