How can this be right?????.....

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yesterday morning my boss' ex hubby turned up outside the school where we work.....he'd waited for her in a nearby road to turn up at 7am to unlock the gates....

he's been threatening to top himself as she now has a new b/f....begging her to go back to him etc etc...

as she got out of her car....he approached her with a knife.... and told her she was going to watch him die....she tried to call the police but he grabbed her mobile and there was a struggle and he hurt her wrist....

then he proceeded to slash at his wrists and stabbed the knife into his side....

a passer by had phoned the police.....they came and arrested him....and she obviously had to go and make a statement....

she phoned me later and said the policeman who'd taken her statement thought he'd be charged with assault and carrying a dangerous weapon....

today she found out that no charges have been made......apparently the blade of the knife is too short to be considered 'dangerous'.....

he's left threatening messages on her mobile saying he is going to stalk her...and said he'll 'kill her new b/f'..the police say she MAY be able to make a complaint of harrasment.....

so now....not only is she worried for her own safety.....(and the school is worried about staff and childrens safety should he come back).......but the fella is clearly in need of help.....yet he's turfed out with no charge....and no medical help to sort himself out...

it just can't be right.....

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Blizz'ardMember 10 years

Blimey, spongey!

Do they not watch the news?

5/19/0912:01 PM

~Orchid~Member

Woah drama!

Seriously, though this woman needs protection from this nutter. Many women are murdered because the police and agencies do not take their complaint seriously until it's too late.

5/19/0912:05 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

she came back to work today blizzie and was so jumpy....which is understandable....there have also been messages left on the kitchen(where we work) phone....but it's just silence...we're convinced it's him...

it's horrible going into work wondering if you're going to be confronted by a bloke with a knife...

he clearly needs help....yet nothing is done....it's madness

5/19/0912:05 PM

Former Member

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:

....

today she found out that no charges have been made......apparently the blade of the knife is too short to be considered 'dangerous'.....
...

The whole thing is outrageous but this part is unbelievable

5/19/0912:05 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

quote:
Originally posted by ~Orchid~:
Woah drama!

Seriously, though this woman needs protection from this nutter. Many women are murdered because the police and agencies do not take their complaint seriously until it's too late.

exactly....

she played us some of the voicemail messages and we read the txts....it's awful.......

i can't understand why they've let him go....

5/19/0912:07 PM

SaintMember 10 years

This is a huge loop hole in the law, soc services etc . . .

Unless someone gets hurt?
Is that wen the law kicks in?

5/19/0912:08 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

quote:
Originally posted by Miss_S:
quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:

....

today she found out that no charges have been made......apparently the blade of the knife is too short to be considered 'dangerous'.....
...

The whole thing is outrageous but this part is unbelievable

i didn't know this miss s....but apparently the knife blade has to be a certain length to be considered a dangerous weapon.....well the amount of blood on her seemed to make it look pretty dangerous to me

5/19/0912:08 PM

SaintMember 10 years

So a Stanley blade aint offensive?

5/19/0912:09 PM

Former Member

This doesn't sound at all right! I think she needs to seek legal advice also the school need to do so through their LA legal team..this might help Domestic Abuse orders

5/19/0912:10 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

quote:
Originally posted by RENTON:
This is a huge loop hole in the law, soc services etc . . .

Unless someone gets hurt?
Is that wen the law kicks in?

i dunno renton.....but this bloke is unstable.....it beggars belief they've just let him go

5/19/0912:10 PM

stonksMember

I watched something like this on this morning, she has to demand to see a senior officer, she can take a witness with her tell them all his threats and she can press charges, if he'd have hurt her without a knife she can press charges....

5/19/0912:10 PM

DoraMember

Has she gone and taken legal advice.?

If she has evidence on her phone and she needs to keep a diary and every witness statement to be put in that diary as well, she can then maybe apply for a restraining order.

I would have been at a solicitors with photo evidence as well.

She must log everything, and i mean everything or else the law can do nothing.

5/19/0912:11 PM

Former Member

Gawd Spongey

I thought the police were supposed to be better trained now in this sort of thing.
Two things I think she should do.
Firstly she should ask if there is a domestic violence unit (not sure what they are called now) at her local station.
She may get a more sympathetic hearing from a properly trained officer rather than a random pc.
Secondly tell her to get in touch straight away with Womens Aid. I think they have a free helpline and they will know exactly what she can do legal wise about this.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

5/19/0912:11 PM

~Orchid~Member

She might consider getting an injuction, spongy.

5/19/0912:12 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

quote:
Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
This doesn't sound at all right! I think she needs to seek legal advice also the school need to do so through their LA legal team..this might help Domestic Abuse orders

thanks super....i'll pass that on.....

the police advised her to get a restraining order against him.....but in his state i doubt he'd take notice......he's that unstable...

all we've got at school is his photo...and his car make and reg so if he turns up we can call the police....

5/19/0912:12 PM

Former Member

quote:
Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Gawd Spongey
I thought the police were supposed to be better trained now in this sort of thing.
Two things I think she should do.
Firstly she should ask if there is a domestic violence unit (not sure what they are called now) at her local station.
She may get a more sympathetic hearing from a properly trained officer rather than a random pc.
Secondly tell her to get in touch straight away with Womens Aid. I think they have a free helpline and they will know exactly what she can do legal wise about this.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Agreed

5/19/0912:13 PM

faerykelstarMember

Bloody hell that's horrific! Surely he should have had some sort of medical assessment?! Poor woman.

5/19/0912:13 PM

DemantoidMember

Good god! Tell her to make more of a fuss, demand to see a senior officer and threaten to speak to her local paper and MP unless they sort this out. Are they waiting for her to become another crime statistic or something?

5/19/0912:13 PM

DoraMember

But if she has one, and he breaks it, he can be arrested straight away.

She must get one. If she does nothing, he knows hes scaring her. She must do something at once

5/19/0912:13 PM

LaceyMember

CLICK ME

Send her the above spongey, there is help out there especially after the Harvey Nics case.

5/19/0912:14 PM

Former Member

Honestly, this country has gone to the dogs.

5/19/0912:15 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

thanks for all the advice...i'm jotting them down and will give them to her tomorrow....

the police have told her to keep anymore txts or voicemails from him......as that will help in a 'harrasment' charge...

what about the fact he's wandering around with a knife!

5/19/0912:15 PM

*Pesky-Pixie* (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by Dora:
But if she has one, and he breaks it, he can be arrested straight away.

She must get one. If she does nothing, he knows hes scaring her. She must do something at once

I was just going to post the same...the restraining order gives the police the power to arrest him BEFORE he does anything.

5/19/0912:15 PM

**sossy**Member

Spongey that's awful

I wish I could say I'm surprised but I'm not

Your boss needs to get advise from people who know from experience what to do.

Woman's Aid would be a good place to start, their not just there to provide a refuge they can give advise too.

5/19/0912:16 PM

DoraMember

quote:
Originally posted by *Pesky-Pixie*:
quote:
Originally posted by Dora:
But if she has one, and he breaks it, he can be arrested straight away.

She must get one. If she does nothing, he knows hes scaring her. She must do something at once

I was just going to post the same...the restraining order gives the police the power to arrest him BEFORE he does anything.

Yes exactly.

I have had to get one in the past, because of a stalker/loved up person.
It worked

5/19/0912:17 PM

LaceyMember

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
thanks for all the advice...i'm jotting them down and will give them to her tomorrow....

the police have told her to keep anymore txts or voicemails from him......as that will help in a 'harrasment' charge...

what about the fact he's wandering around with a knife!

she needs to keep a vigilant diary and get as many witnesses as she can who are prepared to stand up in court and testify if need be.

5/19/0912:18 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

the other problem is.....security at our school is shit......

once the main gates are unlocked they're left like it.....wide open for anyone to walk in....

we've had loads of lads wander in unchallenged....i brought it up with a senior member of staff a few years back....saying it was an open invitation for another dunblane..

she said i was being 'overdramatic'.....

5/19/0912:19 PM

Former Member

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
the police advised her to get a restraining order against him.....but in his state i doubt he'd take notice......he's that unstable...

all we've got at school is his photo...and his car make and reg so if he turns up we can call the police....

Sponge,in addition to what I said earlier, the headteacher can, with the support of the police, bar any person from the premises. If there is real belief that this person could be a serious risk of harm and/or would for e.g. ignore any orders then the people in the police with responsibility for domestic abuse, (and possibly child protection in this case,) should be calling a multi-agency risk assessment meeting, (MARAC) to assess and manage any risk. This hould include health and consideration of his mental health....I would also expect the school to be discussing this with their Child Protction adviser.

5/19/0912:21 PM

LaceyMember

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
the other problem is.....security at our school is shit......

once the main gates are unlocked they're left like it.....wide open for anyone to walk in....

we've had loads of lads wander in unchallenged....i brought it up with a senior member of staff a few years back....saying it was an open invitation for another dunblane..

she said i was being 'overdramatic'.....

I'd report the school to the local education authority and also threaten with the press if need be. In this day and age it's a disaster waiting to happen. x

5/19/0912:21 PM

Dame_Ann_AverageMember VIP10 years

OMG that's awful, I hope she can get something sorted. The poor woman must be demented !!!

5/19/0912:25 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

oh it is lacey......they've only just put locked gates up on the playground.....before that you could drive right round into it.......last year they had a couple of lads run round into the playground.....and then they kicked in a glass panel on the door of a classroom that led onto it....

thankyou all for your help...i'm writing it all down and will pass it onto her...and the headteacher...

5/19/0912:26 PM

captain marblesMember

It looks like some police forces are still stuck in the days of the "We dont get involved in domestics" attitude. I thought things had changed for the better over the last few years but maybe not.

5/19/0912:26 PM

DemantoidMember

quote:
Originally posted by captain marbles:
It looks like some police forces are still stuck in the days of the "We dont get involved in domestics" attitude. I thought things had changed for the better over the last few years but maybe not.

They CANNOT be allowed to get away with it - wonder if their reaction would be the same if it was one of their partners being threatened with a 'too short' knife?

Bloody unbelievable

5/19/0912:28 PM

LaceyMember

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
oh it is lacey......they've only just put locked gates up on the playground.....before that you could drive right round into it.......last year they had a couple of lads run round into the playground.....and then they kicked in a glass panel on the door of a classroom that led onto it....

thankyou all for your help...i'm writing it all down and will pass it onto her...and the headteacher...

Thats terrible! My twins have to swipe in and they are only 9! All gates are locked after 09:10am and it's pretty damn secure most of the time....unfortunately it's the world we live in today.

5/19/0912:30 PM

Former Member

quote:
Originally posted by spongebob squarepants:
the other problem is.....security at our school is shit......

once the main gates are unlocked they're left like it.....wide open for anyone to walk in....

we've had loads of lads wander in unchallenged....i brought it up with a senior member of staff a few years back....saying it was an open invitation for another dunblane..

she said i was being 'overdramatic'.....

Sponge, I would speak to the headteacher/designated senior person in school for child protection about your concerns re school security and ask to see your school's child protection and safeguarding policy and health and safety policy. There is a duty of care to both staff and pupils, if you believe this is not being fulfilled, raise the matter with them and if necessary the Chair of Governors...if you get no joy then go to the Local Authority and ask to report your concerns under the protection of your Whistleblowing policy

5/19/0912:30 PM

RekafMember

the law on knife carrying used to be that a folding knife with a blade of 3 inches or less was legal to carry and not considered an offensive weapon, the subtle part now is that ANY blade, regardless of its length must be considered as an offensive weapon when it is used as such..........

5/19/0912:31 PM

stonksMember

quote:
Originally posted by Demantoid:
quote:
Originally posted by captain marbles:
It looks like some police forces are still stuck in the days of the "We dont get involved in domestics" attitude. I thought things had changed for the better over the last few years but maybe not.

They CANNOT be allowed to get away with it - wonder if their reaction would be the same if it was one of their partners being threatened with a 'too short' knife?

Bloody unbelievable

A bloke mate of mine got arrested for trying to break into his house after a row with his wife..the copper told him to smear Imacc on her pillow case....

5/19/0912:33 PM

spongebob squarepantsMember

quote:
Originally posted by Rekaf:
the law on knife carrying used to be that a folding knife with a blade of 3 inches or less was legal to carry and not considered an offensive weapon, the subtle part now is that ANY blade, regardless of its length must be considered as an offensive weapon when it is used as such..........

ohhhhhhhhh really????.......now that's interesting....cos thats not what they've told her.....the only thing i can think of is cos he harmed himself rather than her....but i'd of thought just carrying the bloody thing is enough to be classed as offensive...

thanks rekaf.i've made a note of that and will pass it on...ask her to challenge what they've said

5/19/0912:34 PM

Former Member

Just another thought.....it may well be that the Head is already seeking advice from the local authority etc. and some of the things I've mentioned are already in motion and you're not aware of it? May be advisable to check this out first?

5/19/0912:35 PM

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