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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

Erwin SchrÃķdinger: The chicken crossed the road and didn't cross the road simultaneously.

 

 

Q: What's the difference between a car mechanic and a quantum mechanic?

A: The quantum mechanic can get his car into the garage without opening the door.

 

 

Q: Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

A: Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

 

[Allegedly true story:

Heisenberg went for a drive outside Munich and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked "Do you know how fast you were going?", to which Heisenberg replied "No, but I know where I am."]

 

 

 And an oldie but goodie to finish:

Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I've just lost an electron!"

The other replied "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm absolutely positive."

 

Eugene's Lair
Last edited by Eugene's Lair

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