quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
Staff working in schools know that they shouldn't be social-networking with pupils and sending sexually explicit text messages to them. She knew she was doing wrong but still did it. I think you are being way too generous Daniel.

Just sticking to the facts, really.

When I was in the sixth form, aged 17, our physics teacher used to have a drink with us in the pub on a Friday lunchtime. Or rather, if he was there when we were then he'd come over there and sit with us for a while. I can't imagine that happening now or think that he was secretly grooming us.

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
But this has nothing to do with the 'age of consent' 'though, the woman has committed offence(s) under The Sexual Offences Act, there is no 'defence' that the young person is a teenager

Exactly. It's an offence because of her position together with his being between 16 and 18, not paedophilia or child abuse.

We'll agree to differ on the child abuse front Daniel- a child is a person under the age of 18, she was in a position of trust, they were not in any kind of 'consensual' relationship. It's child abuse in my book.

How did she get his phone number in the first place?

quote:

Originally posted by MrMeatAndPotatoPie:
How did she get his phone number in the first place?

Well, as his wasnt the only one she had, i take it she asked for it. The kids probably thought it cool that an adult at School was interested in talking to them on facebook etc. She's had the numbers for more than a year so they would all have been 14 or 15 when she asked for them.

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
We'll agree to differ on the child abuse front Daniel- a child is a person under the age of 18, she was in a position of trust, they were not in any kind of 'consensual' relationship. It's child abuse in my book.

Crikey, the UK has child soldiers, allows children to marry, and may soon allow children to vote then. We use the term 'child' variously but it shouldn't be used emotively in situations like this. If she wasn't in a position of trust then was it child abuse? Legally, no. That's the crucial turning point of the issue: her position of trust.

quote:

Originally posted by Bethni:

quote:

Maybe 'cos it's v v difficult for boys to report this stuff whilst attitudes prevail that it's not abuse when it's female on male and think that somehow the boy should be 'flattered'/'get in there for a bit of action' with an older/experienced woman. Makes me so

Super i agree with you on this, but it worried the boy enough to show it to his girlfriend... he probably showed his friends too. I just think his mother should be told, i would want to know if it was my son. LMS daughter is going through hell now worrying over this, she must have someone else shoulder the responiblity now.

I think his parents should be involved Bethni, but who knows, they may have the same attitude as some others on here i.e. that it's every young lads dream Personally I think LMS should go to the school, not the parents. It's the schools job to talk to the parents. Even if they don't react as above, they're not going to be able to stop what's happening to her daughter- and that's the main consideration for LMS now

quote:

Originally posted by MrMeatAndPotatoPie:
How did she get his phone number in the first place?

I was wondering that too

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
Staff working in schools know that they shouldn't be social-networking with pupils and sending sexually explicit text messages to them. She knew she was doing wrong but still did it. I think you are being way too generous Daniel.

Just sticking to the facts, really.

When I was in the sixth form, aged 17, our physics teacher used to have a drink with us in the pub on a Friday lunchtime. Or rather, if he was there when we were then he'd come over there and sit with us for a while. I can't imagine that happening now or think that he was secretly grooming us.

But he may have been if he'd then gone on to send sexually explicit text messages, which I assume he didn't!

I tell you what, it's a technology minefield these days. When I was a kid, social networking, text messaging, and even email wasn't around. Damned useful things, those, but they certainly widen the scope for trouble.

inform the police that your worried what might happen when she gets out

quote:

Personally I think LMS should go to the school, not the parents.

I thought people meant the lad who received the texts parents, not the parents of the gossip/bitchy girls

quote:

Originally posted by lil_lady:
inform the police that your worried what might happen when she gets out

eh?

quote:

Originally posted by electric6:

quote:

Originally posted by lil_lady:
inform the police that your worried what might happen when she gets out

eh?

thought the woman had been put away for it ,i mustve read it wrong.

Supercala... the school may take the attitude that the offence was perpitrated against the boy... not LMS's daughter. The daughter is being harrassed as she is the one who brought it to their attention. It's the boy who has been violated, so to speak. He now has to come forward and speak up. The girl is being looked upon as being the jealous girlfriend who is causing trouble. WE know it's a concern... schoolgirls may not.

quote:

Originally posted by lil_lady:
inform the police that your worried what might happen when she gets out

I just dont wanna make things worse for her. She got bullied a few years back by some girls at School, because of her modelling. She'd done this modelling and not told anyone at School deliberately so that no one could say anything to her (coz girls that age can be right cows) but someone found out and told everyone and she ended up getting hit by some older girl, (just coz of the fact that she'd done modelling in a magazine for clothes,) and I had to involve the police then!

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
We'll agree to differ on the child abuse front Daniel- a child is a person under the age of 18, she was in a position of trust, they were not in any kind of 'consensual' relationship. It's child abuse in my book.

Crikey, the UK has child soldiers, allows children to marry, and may soon allow children to vote then. We use the term 'child' variously but it shouldn't be used emotively in situations like this. If she wasn't in a position of trust then was it child abuse? Legally, no. That's the crucial turning point of the issue: her position of trust.

Like I said Daniel, we'll agree to differ....and from what LMS has just said seems that this getting kids no's and social networking with them is going on with children under the age of 16 too

Totts

Dunno what to suggest but have a hug.

You did the right thing, some sort of child protection agency should take a close look at this woman

quote:

Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

quote:

Originally posted by lil_lady:
inform the police that your worried what might happen when she gets out

I just dont wanna make things worse for her. She got bullied a few years back by some girls at School, because of her modelling. She'd done this modelling and not told anyone at School deliberately so that no one could say anything to her (coz girls that age can be right cows) but someone found out and told everyone and she ended up getting hit by some older girl, (just coz of the fact that she'd done modelling in a magazine for clothes,) and I had to involve the police then!

awful what jealousy can do to some girls

Ok as i was only at school two years ago... I would now do nothing at all, the more action the more attention If i got my mum to contact the school it would make it alot worse... the last thing i would want is the Head of the school giving a speech on the whole thing I would concentrate on my studies and just keep counting down to a half-term/summer holiday, as that should calm things down. Or another option would be to just lie to anyone who asks about it and say the school knew about it and contacted you... obviously you couldnt lie about that Of course you would have to think through is lieing going to put someone else in the spotlight...

Be strong and ignore it... the more attention you give to the people who ask about it. The more ammo you give them, i remember a boy in my school who got alot of grief just for grassing someone up on smoking Though he just ignored it and everyone got bored

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
But he may have been if he'd then gone on to send sexually explicit text messages, which I assume he didn't!

As I'm male and he was male and if it had gone sexual, he would have broken the age of consent law, which was 21 for men back then.

An arbitrary age, you see. It went down to 18 in 1994, and to 16 in 2000, with the proviso for people in positions of authority. Of course, because it was ridden through on equality terms, the same proviso applies to heterosexual unions after 2003 in the tidy up.

I'm pretty sure the offence she committed was originally intended to stop vulnerable male teenagers from being 'turned gay' by scout masters and the like. A sop to the worried sexual conservatives, in other words.

quote:

Originally posted by electric6:

quote:

Personally I think LMS should go to the school, not the parents.

I thought people meant the lad who received the texts parents, not the parents of the gossip/bitchy girls

Yes, I think so too.

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Totts

Dunno what to suggest but have a hug.

You did the right thing, some sort of child protection agency should take a close look at this woman

Hiya Veggie! Nice to see youre here! You can never say life with my teens is uninteresting I suppose! It never rain but it pours!

Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

Just cant believe this woman was so stupid as to think it was ok to behave like this! Even if nothing sinister was going on, she must have known it wasnt the done thing!

quote:

Originally posted by Bethni:
Supercala... the school may take the attitude that the offence was perpitrated against the boy... not LMS's daughter. The daughter is being harrassed as she is the one who brought it to their attention. It's the boy who has been violated, so to speak. He now has to come forward and speak up. The girl is being looked upon as being the jealous girlfriend who is causing trouble. WE know it's a concern... schoolgirls may not.

I am assuming that the lad has come forward and spoke up in some way Bethni as the school have seen his mobile and the messages on it.
Just think that the issues of what this woman has done to the boy and the isues of how her daughter is suffering for reporting it need to be separated out and dealt with accordingly.

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

Dead important, that. My mate became a school teacher a year after leaving university (ie. age 22/23) and he was forever being hit on by the 5th form (as they were called then ie. 15/16yo) girls. Scared him silly, especially as some of them were very physically mature. You have to wear your role like a suit of armour, he said.

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
But he may have been if he'd then gone on to send sexually explicit text messages, which I assume he didn't!

As I'm male and he was male and if it had gone sexual, he would have broken the age of consent law, which was 21 for men back then.

An arbitrary age, you see. It went down to 18 in 1994, and to 16 in 2000, with the proviso for people in positions of authority. Of course, because it was ridden through on equality terms, the same proviso applies to heterosexual unions after 2003 in the tidy up.

I'm pretty sure the offence she committed was originally intended to stop vulnerable male teenagers from being 'turned gay' by scout masters and the like. A sop to the worried sexual conservatives, in other words.

We could go on forever toing and froing here Daniel but I initially came on here to try and be helpful to LMS, not to have a debate about the age of consent, the rationale behind the changes to the sexual offences act etc. etc. Another time maybe, I'm v v tired and want to chill out, so I'll leave it there for tonight.

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
But he may have been if he'd then gone on to send sexually explicit text messages, which I assume he didn't!

As I'm male and he was male and if it had gone sexual, he would have broken the age of consent law, which was 21 for men back then.

An arbitrary age, you see. It went down to 18 in 1994, and to 16 in 2000, with the proviso for people in positions of authority. Of course, because it was ridden through on equality terms, the same proviso applies to heterosexual unions after 2003 in the tidy up.

I'm pretty sure the offence she committed was originally intended to stop vulnerable male teenagers from being 'turned gay' by scout masters and the like. A sop to the worried sexual conservatives, in other words.

We could go on forever toing and froing here Daniel but I initially came on here to try and be helpful to LMS, not to have a debate about the age of consent, the rationale behind the changes to the sexual offences act etc. etc. Another time maybe, I'm v v tired and want to chill out, so I'll leave it there for tonight.

You have helped, super. I dont want people having arguments coz of this thread. People see things differently. At the end of the day, this woman is the one in the wrong. I just hope nothing worse has gone in since she's been at the School. The fact that she's lied to other pupils about the messages speaks volumes. If she had anything about her, she wouldve gone off and kept stuhm about the whole thing!

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

Dead important, that. My mate became a school teacher a year after leaving university (ie. age 22/23) and he was forever being hit on by the 5th form (as they were called then ie. 15/16yo) girls. Scared him silly, especially as some of them were very physically mature. You have to wear your role like a suit of armour, he said.

yeah, I've often thought it must be a nightmare for young teachers dealing with that age group - all those hormones

The thing is: I have friends from all age groups but if this woman is cultivating 'friends' almost exclusively from the kids at school then I think that would demonstrate some sort of immaturity and would lead me to wonder why she didn't have friends in her own age group.
The sort of friends who might have voiced concerns about her having these kids on her FB.
As for the texts - very very stupid and quite worrying tbh.

Just to let you guys know; Literally 5 minutes after I came off the forum last night my daughter got a call from her b/f saying his mum had found out! (think his older sister had told her) She was not very happy at all that he'd kept it from her and said he should have told her first, as she'd have wanted to go round to this womans house and ask her what the hell she thought she was doing!!! Oh Dear!! Dont know what will happen now; if she'll get in touch with School etc.I suppose I cant blame her wanting words with this woman. It IS her son after all. I know if it'd been a male teacher sending the same texts to my daughter Id have probably ripped his head off by now! Anyway guys, just wanted to update you! Oh, and apparantly 2 of the other mssages commented on his "nice bum" and another said (wait for it) " Sunbathing with no clothes on in the garden is the best, why dont you come round"!!!! Dont know how much his mum knows about the content of the messages but the more I hear the worse it gets!! IDIOT!!

I'm surprised that the school didn't inform his parents - very strange going ons there

TBH IMHYCO None of this has added up.
The media loves anything like this particularly at the moment, what with Plymouth, MJ and stuff.
I can't believe that this has been dealt with in this manner and yet avoided the press.

Blimey.

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
I'm surprised that the school didn't inform his parents - very strange going ons there

they spoke to him and he told them he'd rather they call his dad!!! Im still surprised tho; He lives with his mum after all. Maybe he was embarressed. He told my daughter not to tell me when it first happened!!

quote:

Originally posted by Garage Joe:
TBH IMHYCO None of this has added up.
The media loves anything like this particularly at the moment, what with Plymouth, MJ and stuff.
I can't believe that this has been dealt with in this manner and yet avoided the press.

I suppose maybe they think its "just texts" If anything else happens with my daughter I will call the police myself and get their take on it. I said so to my daughter last night, but she told me not to coz she said it'll just make things worse for her! Believe me I know where she's coming from, but Im just gonna have to wait and see. She's on a trip To London with her year today, so hopefully nothings kicked off. Havent had a phone call or txt yet, fingers crossed.

quote:

When my daughter told me I said she HAD to inform someone at School,

No.


YOU should have informed the school..

quote:

Originally posted by Outrighter:

quote:

When my daughter told me I said she HAD to inform someone at School,

No.


YOU should have informed the school..

Erm, NO! They were not on my childs Phone! My daughter was adult enough to tell her boyfriend that he had to show the teachers, Had I gone in and done it without him wanting me to, he could easily have deleted the texts before the School saw them! I think I know my daughter and her b/f better than you!

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

Dead important, that. My mate became a school teacher a year after leaving university (ie. age 22/23) and he was forever being hit on by the 5th form (as they were called then ie. 15/16yo) girls. Scared him silly, especially as some of them were very physically mature. You have to wear your role like a suit of armour, he said.

My Friend is also a PE Teacher, he is very fit, athletic and good looking...he has had to modify his name on FB for this very reason...all the girls were trying to add him as Friends....he thought it was very inappropriate....

I cannot believe this Woman has crossed a boundary that should NEVER be crossed!!! SHe IS in a position of TRUST and it should never have happened!

You and your Daughter have done the right thing, definately!!! I'm also glad his Mother has found out, I think Women are better at dealing with these things than Men....I'm sure his Mother will take all the necessary steps now!!!

I do hope your Daughter knows she has done the right thing, I also hope that the School step in and stop the bullying, as that is exactly what it is!!! Be strong, and tell your Daughter I think she's very Mature for having the balls to get it out into the open!

quote:

Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

quote:

Originally posted by Veggieburger:
Meant to say as well....

Surely the school should have sent letters home or summat, asking if other kids had been sent these sorts of texts.
Daniel is right, it's the breach of trust, she is clearly unsuited for any kind of role with teenagers as she seems unable to respect boundaries

Dead important, that. My mate became a school teacher a year after leaving university (ie. age 22/23) and he was forever being hit on by the 5th form (as they were called then ie. 15/16yo) girls. Scared him silly, especially as some of them were very physically mature. You have to wear your role like a suit of armour, he said.

My Friend is also a PE Teacher, he is very fit, athletic and good looking...he has had to modify his name on FB for this very reason...all the girls were trying to add him as Friends....he thought it was very inappropriate....

I cannot believe this Woman has crossed a boundary that should NEVER be crossed!!! SHe IS in a position of TRUST and it should never have happened!

You and your Daughter have done the right thing, definately!!! I'm also glad his Mother has found out, I think Women are better at dealing with these things than Men....I'm sure his Mother will take all the necessary steps now!!!

I do hope your Daughter knows she has done the right thing, I also hope that the School step in and stop the bullying, as that is exactly what it is!!! Be strong, and tell your Daughter I think she's very Mature for having the balls to get it out into the open!

Thankyou. I know the right thing has been done. At least she's gone from the School now. Hopefully someone deserving will replace her!

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:
Can the school not make a statement to the kids at school, in particular about the number of text messages sent and that it was the right thing for your daughter to have done? The school ought to encourage pupils to tell someone in authority if this sort of thing happens so they should [edit: not] balk at backing her.

If the woman has just been sacked then she is lucky. Adults sending texts of a sexual nature to a 16yo (ie. over the age of consent) is not wrong in itself but her position at the school makes it illegal and a sexual offence. She's lucky to have just been sacked, I'd say.

I was going to say something simular.. also if worse comes to worse is there not another school she can transfer to for her 6th form? pleae tell her from jme she did the right thing and she must not let this ruin her education..I think if she does sticks it out, something new will tkae over the attention of the silly small minded crowd and they will move on.
But in the mean time the head should be told of everything happening and Iagree a statement should be read out at assemble about the volume of texts which were seen by staff and also bullying of your daughter will not be tolerated in any form.