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Originally posted by Daniel J*:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
This woman is borderline pedophile - seriously.

No she isn't. It's a sexual offence because she's in a position of authority and the lad is below 18 and that's illegal. Had she not worked at the school then she would not have been doing anything illegal. Paedophilia is about pre-pubescents and shouldn't be polluted as a term with pubescent teenagers.

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If a male member of staff had done this everyone would be outraged. Why do people often think it's different when it's a woman? It's exactly the same.

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Originally posted by Bethni:
I've read the whole thread and am deeply toubled for you and your daughter.
Can i ask though....why did you and your daughter get involved with the whole thing about reporting it to the school? Has your daughter's B?F no parent's? Why didn't he report it himself?

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Originally posted by electric6:
To have kids from the school on her f/b account was also veeeeeeery wrong IMO.

Whilst not "officially" wrong it's unprofessional and only setting herself up for trouble (well,if losing her job wasn't enough, the reckless bint!)

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Originally posted by Daniel J*:
Had he been 14 or 15 then it still wouldn't have been paedophilia. The age of consent (currently 16) is arbitrary. A physically mature 14yo could easily look and behave like a 16 or 17yo. Paedophilia is about children, pre-pubescent children, because those children are not sexual beings by definition. Attraction to early to mid teenagers is hebephilia, and mid to late teenagers is ephebophilia. It sounds like a technicality but I think it matters as pre-pubescent children are not sexual beings and it is completely obvious that that is so and therefore there is no defence at all.

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:

quote:

Originally posted by Daniel J*:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
This woman is borderline pedophile - seriously.

No she isn't. It's a sexual offence because she's in a position of authority and the lad is below 18 and that's illegal. Had she not worked at the school then she would not have been doing anything illegal. Paedophilia is about pre-pubescents and shouldn't be polluted as a term with pubescent teenagers.

Fair comment, but I know it isn't 'actually' pedophillia coz he is 16, that is why I said 'borderline.' I said that because if he had been 14 or 15, I don't think it would have made any difference to her. Ergo she is a borderline pedophile IMHO. I think she would quite happily and willingly go for someone as young as 13 if he was 'fit' enough. JMHO of course based on what the OP said about her.

And he could well have been only 15 when the texts started. I'd have to check, but its possible.

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
Good post and I agree. And I still stand by what I said, that people like this who go for SCHOOL kids (16 or not) would probably not think twice about going for someone 2 or 3 years younger if the opportunity arose. Still struggling to understand why this was such a shocking thing to say.. it's just my opinion.

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Originally posted by electric6:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
Good post and I agree. And I still stand by what I said, that people like this who go for SCHOOL kids (16 or not) would probably not think twice about going for someone 2 or 3 years younger if the opportunity arose. Still struggling to understand why this was such a shocking thing to say.. it's just my opinion.

The fact that he was a school kid, makes not a jot of difference in the eyes of the law.

It's the fact that she was a TA that would make any sexual contact illegal.

He is legally old enough to marry a 60 year old if he wants.

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Originally posted by pussycatj:
would just like to say that my 14 year old looks like a 16 year old *shrugs*

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Originally posted by WILDER X:
If the police did get involved I think they can look at her face book account even if its deleted.

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

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Originally posted by WILDER X:
If the police did get involved I think they can look at her face book account even if its deleted.

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
Fair enough, but I just put my thoughts and views and opinions based on what the OP said. I am sorry if anyone has got offended.

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:

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Originally posted by Daniel J*:
Had he been 14 or 15 then it still wouldn't have been paedophilia. The age of consent (currently 16) is arbitrary. A physically mature 14yo could easily look and behave like a 16 or 17yo. Paedophilia is about children, pre-pubescent children, because those children are not sexual beings by definition. Attraction to early to mid teenagers is hebephilia, and mid to late teenagers is ephebophilia. It sounds like a technicality but I think it matters as pre-pubescent children are not sexual beings and it is completely obvious that that is so and therefore there is no defence at all.

Fair enough, but I just put my thoughts and views and opinions based on what the OP said. I am sorry if anyone has got offended.

As I said, if anything I have said has offended anyone, then I apologise,.. I guess it was a bit of an 'assumption,' and may have been out of order, but I really do believe it. Sorry electric 6... it's just what I think and I can't change that... I do get where you are coming from, and I totally respect your views and thoughts hun But I truly believe that someone like this woman would not care if the lad had been under 16 y.o.. the OP already said that it's possible it may have started when he was 15.

Nevertheless, I don't like bad feeling, so here's a hug and bye bye again everyone, and thanks for the nice words for my auntie electric 6 .

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Originally posted by Daniel J*:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
Fair enough, but I just put my thoughts and views and opinions based on what the OP said. I am sorry if anyone has got offended.

No offence here, it's all fine. Just share your views or thoughts.

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

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Originally posted by Bethni:
I've read the whole thread and am deeply toubled for you and your daughter.
Can i ask though....why did you and your daughter get involved with the whole thing about reporting it to the school? Has your daughter's B?F no parent's? Why didn't he report it himself?

Do you know, I never even thought about that! I think probably he was worried about what would happen. When my daughter told me I just said immediately that she had to do something. It was just after that woman at the pre-school was arrested for doing all sorts and although the 2 things arent comparable, I just knew that if anything else happened and we had done nothing, then we would be in the wrong too.

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spursont worry pixie, thanks for your input. Im sure she would have to have had a police check to start at the school. Im a carer and I had to have one before I could start looking after my old folk. But this may have been her first job with kids. And her last I hope!

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Originally posted by Daniel J*:

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Originally posted by Cheeky-Pixie:
Fair comment, but I know it isn't 'actually' pedophillia coz he is 16, that is why I said 'borderline.' I said that because if he had been 14 or 15, I don't think it would have made any difference to her. Ergo she is a borderline pedophile IMHO. I think she would quite happily and willingly go for someone as young as 13 if he was 'fit' enough. JMHO of course based on what the OP said about her.

Had he been 14 or 15 then it still wouldn't have been paedophilia. The age of consent (currently 16) is arbitrary. A physically mature 14yo could easily look and behave like a 16 or 17yo. Paedophilia is about children, pre-pubescent children, because those children are not sexual beings by definition. Attraction to early to mid teenagers is hebephilia, and mid to late teenagers is ephebophilia. It sounds like a technicality but I think it matters as pre-pubescent children are not sexual beings and it is completely obvious that that is so and therefore there is no defence at all.

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Originally posted by Bethni:

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

quote:

Originally posted by Bethni:
I've read the whole thread and am deeply toubled for you and your daughter.
Can i ask though....why did you and your daughter get involved with the whole thing about reporting it to the school? Has your daughter's B?F no parent's? Why didn't he report it himself?

Do you know, I never even thought about that! I think probably he was worried about what would happen. When my daughter told me I just said immediately that she had to do something. It was just after that woman at the pre-school was arrested for doing all sorts and although the 2 things arent comparable, I just knew that if anything else happened and we had done nothing, then we would be in the wrong too.

The only advice i can think of then that may help your daughter is to get her B/F's parent's involved now.After all he is their son, it should be their place to raise concern's on this matter....keep your daughter out of it from now on and let the school work with the parents to resolve the matter. if your daughter still get's harassed i would suggest taking the matter to the police and let them deal with the school.

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Originally posted by darloboy07:
OMG your poor daughter, it is grooming but this woman is obviously smart enough to delete her Facebook account to try and get into trouble, but wouldn't the people there have her details and could recall the accoint if the police get involved?. It's good that the school are doing all they can, maybe they should get someone in to talk to the kids about the dangers of social networking sites or to make them feel aware of people trying to groom them.

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

But this has nothing to do with the 'age of consent' 'though, the woman has committed offence(s) under The Sexual Offences Act, there is no 'defence' that the young person is a teenager

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Originally posted by darloboy07:
It's well creepy reading all this being a teen and all .

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

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Originally posted by darloboy07:
OMG your poor daughter, it is grooming but this woman is obviously smart enough to delete her Facebook account to try and get into trouble, but wouldn't the people there have her details and could recall the accoint if the police get involved?. It's good that the school are doing all they can, maybe they should get someone in to talk to the kids about the dangers of social networking sites or to make them feel aware of people trying to groom them.

Hiya Darlo Im sure you're right. She even HAD my daughter on her F?B I found out last night! I asked her if she had ever had messages from her and she said she had ages ago, so it could be found if needed!

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Originally posted by electric6:

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Originally posted by darloboy07:
It's well creepy reading all this being a teen and all .

You're 18 Darlo!

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Originally posted by Garage Joe:

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Originally posted by Bethni:
I've read the whole thread and am deeply toubled for you and your daughter.
Can i ask though....why did you and your daughter get involved with the whole thing about reporting it to the school? Has your daughter's B?F no parent's? Why didn't he report it himself?

I was also trying to think of a way of expressing this opinion.

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

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Originally posted by Garage Joe:

quote:

Originally posted by Bethni:
I've read the whole thread and am deeply toubled for you and your daughter.
Can i ask though....why did you and your daughter get involved with the whole thing about reporting it to the school? Has your daughter's B?F no parent's? Why didn't he report it himself?

I was also trying to think of a way of expressing this opinion.

Maybe 'cos it's v v difficult for boys to report this stuff whilst attitudes prevail that it's not abuse when it's female on male and think that somehow the boy should be 'flattered'/'get in there for a bit of action' with an older/experienced woman. Makes me so

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Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
She must be pig ugly cos ain't this every teenage boys best fantasy?

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:
But this has nothing to do with the 'age of consent' 'though, the woman has committed offence(s) under The Sexual Offences Act, there is no 'defence' that the young person is a teenager

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Maybe 'cos it's v v difficult for boys to report this stuff whilst attitudes prevail that it's not abuse when it's female on male and think that somehow the boy should be 'flattered'/'get in there for a bit of action' with an older/experienced woman. Makes me so

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

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Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
She must be pig ugly cos ain't this every teenage boys best fantasy?

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Originally posted by Daniel J*:
The woman has behaved inappropriately for her position and committed a criminal offence that was intended to stop people in authority over young adult from playing on that relationship for their own ends. The lad is 16 years old, that is above the normal age of consent, and apparently very good looking. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here talking about grooming and the like as though she is a predatory sexual offender. She may well have just fallen for him in particular and rather rashly acted on it. Wrong, for sure, but let's be calm about it.

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Originally posted by Little Miss Spurs:

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Originally posted by Supercalifragilistic:

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Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
She must be pig ugly cos ain't this every teenage boys best fantasy?

Well my sons 18 and he dont think like that. he thinks its "sick" in his words!