How do you move on from something you have done that you really really regret doing and hate yourself for?
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Hmmmm, if it's something you need to apologise to someone for, do so, as soon as possible. Only talking about it will make it seem less serious and let you forgive yourself, IMO.
If it's yourself that you need to apologise to, then tell yourself that all is forgiven and not to worry about it anymore.
If it's yourself that you need to apologise to, then tell yourself that all is forgiven and not to worry about it anymore.
Former Member
Forgive yourself?
Or a practical way would be to imagine where you want to be in a year. Forgotten it, happy, whatever you like. Then work backwards asking yourself how you get there? So in 6 months you may have had to do X,Y and Z to feel better. To get there in three months you would have had to to something else to get to there. And bring it right back to today where you can do something tiny that is all part of your plan to get over it. Does that make sence?
Or a practical way would be to imagine where you want to be in a year. Forgotten it, happy, whatever you like. Then work backwards asking yourself how you get there? So in 6 months you may have had to do X,Y and Z to feel better. To get there in three months you would have had to to something else to get to there. And bring it right back to today where you can do something tiny that is all part of your plan to get over it. Does that make sence?
thanks the responses
i need to forgive myself , let it go . but i constantly think about it and all the feelings come rushing back . guilt , shame. then i get paranoid that people know and judge me.
i need to forgive myself , let it go . but i constantly think about it and all the feelings come rushing back . guilt , shame. then i get paranoid that people know and judge me.
How long ago did it happen, Chicken?
If it isn't getting any better, then you need to talk it out.
Once you've talked about it, the feelings will diminish.
I'm assuming it's not murder.
If it isn't getting any better, then you need to talk it out.
Once you've talked about it, the feelings will diminish.
I'm assuming it's not murder.
nah lol i havent hurt anyone or done anything illegal
You could remind yourself that none of us are perfect & we all do & say things we regret...the point is to learn from it & move on...it may never be forgotten but the lesson learnt helps you tread more carefully in the future!
Remember it may not be as bad as you think, just that you are a sensitive soul...talking with folk would maybe open up your mind to this... there are many folk here who would listen Chick & not judge! Sometimes is easier when not confronted by a face! Otherwise try talking with someone you know & trust.
Remember it may not be as bad as you think, just that you are a sensitive soul...talking with folk would maybe open up your mind to this... there are many folk here who would listen Chick & not judge! Sometimes is easier when not confronted by a face! Otherwise try talking with someone you know & trust.
Try and accept first that you did, maybe explain to anyone involved, honestly, why....be honest with yourself about it all...
Reference:
You could remind yourself that none of us are perfect & we all do & say things we regret...the point is to learn from it & move on...it may never be forgotten but the lesson learnt helps you tread more carefully in the future! Remember it may not be as bad as you think, just that you are a sensitive soul...talking with folk would maybe open up your mind to this..
I agree with Slimfern , Chicken... I think you just need to be kinder to yourselfReference: Baz
I agree with Slimfern , Chicken... I think you just need to be kinder to yourself
I agree too Chicken.You seem to be unnecessarily hard on yourself.
It reminds me of myself - I have done things which were not nice, which I regret and make me feel ashamed of myself. I fell below my own standards. Most of us are lucky if we have a true best friend. I talked to mine and felt better. Knowing that my best friend would accept (not necessarily approve) and not judge. Someone who really understands. Which of us have never done things we regret?
I think you have set the bar too high for yourself.
You have to allow yourself to move on Chicken. For what my humble opinion is worth I think it would be good if you can accept that the clock cannot be put back. It is history. Moving on does not mean what you did was fine. It means you have learnt a valuable lesson from it.
Do look after yourself.
You really must stop hating yourself.
We don't hate you - so you are obviously wrong.
We don't hate you - so you are obviously wrong.
Reference:
i havent hurt anyone or done anything illegal
Have you cheated at Uni? Have you got a girl into trouble?
Have you had a fling with a mate's bird?
Have you been wearing the same underwear for over two weeks?
Have you peed in someone's drink?
Have you experimented with drugs?
If you haven't killed, raped or committed large scale fraud, just put what ever it is down to growing up experience. If people knew and were judging you, they would have made sure you were aware of it by now (those who judge never do it quietly), just let it go whatever it is.
Reference:
You could remind yourself that none of us are perfect & we all do & say things we regret...the point is to learn from it & move on...it may never be forgotten but the lesson learnt helps you tread more carefully in the future! Remember it may not be as bad as you think, just that you are a sensitive soul...talking with folk would maybe open up your mind to this... there are many folk here who would listen Chick & not judge! Sometimes is easier when not confronted by a face! Otherwise try talking with someone you know & trust.
I agree with Slimfern, you've got to let go of mistakes Chicken, we've all made them
Chicken. I've just had another thought.
Don't most universities still have a student counselling service.?
If you are daunted by doctors, you may be able to cosey up to a counsellor.
Just a thought. A possible option.
Don't most universities still have a student counselling service.?
If you are daunted by doctors, you may be able to cosey up to a counsellor.
Just a thought. A possible option.
Reference:
Don't most universities still have a student counselling service.?
Yes, they do Brisket
How are things today Chicken?
Everyone has regrets. You need to put it in a box store it in your brain under lesson learned and forget about it.
Largely depends on what you've done. If its something minor then you could be over-reacting (sorry if it sounds harsh). Is it too personnel to tell us what you've done?
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