HELP!!!!

Topics

Hi all - not been around for a bit. I've got a problem and this is the first place I thought to maybe get a few ideas...

Recently I have been seeing a man (some of you may remember) that found me over on FB. He was my first b/f at aged 16. Anyway - I had been seeing him as in nothing going on just friendly chat and the odd hug. Recently he had a big bust up with his wife and he ended up here for a few days. His wife emailed me, assuming we were having an affair, basically saying, 'you've got my husband so you can have his debts too'. Since then, they have patched things up, rowed again, he's been back and now he's gone home again. However, I AM getting bailiffs letters, phonecalls etc etc from debt companies looking for him. He has never ever lived here and never will. What can I do?? She has given these companies false information, she has given out my home address and phone number and is surely defrauding these debt companies?? Is this a police matter? I've tried several times to contact the CAB but they're always engaged. I am absolutely furious as I owe NOT ONE penny to anyone and everything i have got is paid for. These are NOT my debts and are nothing to do with me!!
BRING ON THE GOOD ADVICE FOLKS!!!

Replies sorted oldest to newest

angelicarwenMember

Oh darling

I am no use but there are very clever people on here so a big bump and a quick hug for you

3/10/101:24 PM

BazMember VIP10 years

Awww Barmey Brummie

I was going to suggest the CAB.... but if you can't get through, then how about booking one of those cheap half hour solicitors appointments??

3/10/101:27 PM

CroctacusMember

Just return the letters not known at this address....

3/10/101:29 PM

Former Member

Bloody Hell Barmie did you keep seeing him after what happened before?

Presumably the calls letters etc, are for him and presumably she gave thenm your address when he was staying there?? Just say that he doesn't live at your address, give them his home address and redirect the mail

3/10/101:29 PM

CroctacusMember

Oh and tell the bloke to take a running jump as well...dragging you (?) into his domestics

3/10/101:31 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

what was that supes?? Croc, I have thought about doing that, but I decided to open one of the letters a few weeks ago and it was a notice that bailiffs were coming out in 48 hours - so I have decided to open anything that comes here now just in case!!! Something else I have thought about was to fone a debt advice line (will have to do it tomorrow now) - to see exactly how illegal what she has done is (if that makes sense) - maybe they will be able to help me?

3/10/101:33 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

I've told them Supes that he DOES NOT LIVE HERE and I have given them his home address. I personally think that she is just trying to get rid of some of the debt from their address and she doesnt care who gets it

3/10/101:34 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

Hay Barmy

Clearly this friend has relationship trouble and i doubt him staying over is helpful to either of you. Firstly i would address your friend and simply tell him you think it only complicates matters further when he stays at yours after a bust up with the misses. Who could blame her for thinking something is going on. Secondly i would ask your friend to get in touch with these debt collection companies and give them his registered, current address. If he is a friend and not just using you as someone to run to when he has a fight with his wife, he should get this sorted quicker than you can say please. Hope this post does'nt sound too harsh

3/10/101:34 PM

Former Member

Reference:

what was that supes??

I can't remember exactly but loads of people on here were advising you to tell him to sod off, was something about him seemingly 'using you' his wife understandably assuming that he was having an affair and facebook

3/10/101:36 PM

CroctacusMember

See the thing is if the letters were addressed to you then obviously thats wrong but if they are addressed to him don't open any more...just send them back in the post.

3/10/101:37 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

thanx Kelly - I have had a word with him and he has managed to sort some of it out. what is worrying me is that today I had a letter (addressed to him but at this address) - it was from John Lewis saying he owed over £1500 and he needs to pay by 25 March. I txt this info to him today and told him to sort it. There is no phone number on the letter for me to let them know, so I can only TRUST that he will do it. If he doesnt then the next thing will be a summons at this address again - i'm terrified of this address being blacklisted over something that is nothing to do with me as my credit rating is excellent. I really dont need the stress

3/10/101:38 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

Also just so you know opening letters that are address to anyone other than you is illegal. Write on them "NOT AT THIS ADDRESS" and post back. They should get the hint soon enough

3/10/101:38 PM

Former Member

Reference:

I personally think that she is just trying to get rid of some of the debt from their address and she doesnt care who gets it

Or maybe she simply sent them to where he was living. This guy seems a complete loser/tosser imo, who, if I remember correctly seems to be taking you for a ride/taking advantage of you

3/10/101:40 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

I did tell him to sod off Supes - time and time again - finally he turned up at my door saying he had left and was living at his parents house (which was true because I was able to speak to him there) - so if anything SHE should have got the letters sent to his parents house - but no - she decides to take it out on me

3/10/101:40 PM

CroctacusMember

Yeah what Kelly said!!

3/10/101:40 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

I didnt know that Kelly!!! Just to assure everyone, I am NOT seeing him anymore - he's been in touch as recent as today asking to meet up, but I'm not having any of it - i'm just so pissed off that his wife was so quick to send his debts to me, without any regard to my own circumstances, personal or financial

3/10/101:43 PM

Former Member

Reference:

but no - she decides to take it out on me

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Thought you said he ended up at yours for a few days? I think that she can be forgiven for thinking something was going on between the two of you, and, if I remember correctly he was somehow encouraging her to think that

3/10/101:44 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

First of all hun dont panic. Worst case scenario if the minimum amount is not paid on time the current creditor will either seen out another deadline/ask for full amount to be paid or sell the debt on to another debt collection company. This cycle will continue for years if nothing is done so dont panic about summons and things just yet. If you do however get baliffs at the door DO NOT LET THEM IN! Even if they say there dying for a pee. Simply tell them the person they are looking for does not live here and never has. Debt collection companies hire specialist companies to track people down so they dont escape the debt. However blacklisting your address is not something you can do much about until you either speak to CAB to sort it or he sorts it.

3/10/101:45 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

Supes - yes he DID move back to his parents house - but he spent a lot of time here. He works nights, so couldnt actually be classed as staying here I suppose... the point is - he moved to his PARENTS house not my place

3/10/101:48 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

and his wife KNEW he had gone back to his parents house

3/10/101:52 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

Also you can actually check your own credit file to see whats really going on. They do a month free trial at expedian i think its called.

3/10/101:52 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

what sort of info would i get from that Kelly??? I will do it tomorrow - thanx

3/10/101:54 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

But she obviously knew he was spending time with you too hun or had been meeting up atleast. I really dont blame her for thinking something was going on.

3/10/101:55 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

It list your current debts so if you have been blacklisted it will show up on there although im not sure of how up to date it is. Also you can buy your credit score which basically tells you how credit worthy you are and by how much.

3/10/101:57 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

oh I totally understand Kelly - I've had some quite viscious emails and stuff from her (totally understandable - I would be the same probably) AND I've had to turn every fone in the house off before now because of her relentless calls - but to get his debts sent to me the very same day he moved to his parents is going a bit far dont you think? She doesnt know me or anything about me. Maybe things have been said/done in their house, but I'm innocent in all of this really (naive maybe to bloody see him in the first place)

3/10/101:59 PM

Former Member

Reference:

and his wife KNEW he had gone back to his parents house

I'm confused Barmie, maybe she was too and thought that he was staying at yours/having an affair but telling her he was at his parents? You did say in your original post: Recently he had a big bust up with his wife and he ended up here for a few days. It seems a long time ago since, again if I remember correctly, she got him to delete you and your family from his fb 'cos she thought he was having an affair with you, like Kelly I really can't blame her for thinking that

3/10/102:03 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

Im not blaming you hun and sending his debts on to you is prob at bit extream but feeling like you have lost your husband to another woman probably does that to you. If i was in her shoes i would prob go crazy too.

3/10/102:04 PM

kattymieowwMember 10 years

How did she get your address to send the letters etc to?He must have given her it,get rid of the letters(return in the post) and him.

3/10/102:10 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

yes Supes that is what happened - she made him delete me and my daughter and two of my brothers. He re-added me again after a while, then she found out.... he created a new account (yes he sounds like a complete shit!!) to talk to me. I told him OVER AND OVER again to leave me alone, to go home and sort out his problems. Eventually he told me that he wanted to be with me and all that sort of stuff and I told him it wasnt possible because he was married etc etc and I basically booted him out of here. A week or so later he turned up on my doorstep saying he'd left her and was back at his parents house

3/10/102:11 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

I've got no idea Katty - he reckons she must have got it off a police officer friend. She has also got my mobile number as she took his fone off him and bought him a new one so I couldnt contact him!!! She got my mobile number off his old fone and then HE txt me his new bloody number

3/10/102:13 PM

Former Member

Reference:

yes he sounds like a complete shit

Correctomondo. Think that your anger should be towards him, not her

3/10/102:14 PM

Former Member

Reference:

he reckons she must have got it off a police officer friend

I wouldn't believe a word that came out of his lying, cheating mouth

3/10/102:16 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

Oh I'm completely pissed off with him Supes - been completely taken in havent I?? Most worrying is that he is back home with his wife (fair do's) - but its these debt letters that I'm more bothered about

3/10/102:16 PM

Former Member

Reference:

but its these debt letters that I'm more bothered about

That's understandable Barmie but I'm sure it can be easily sorted

3/10/102:18 PM

BARMYBRUMMIE - Slickman to WIN!Member

its easy to find out where someone lives!! as soon as I agreed to meet him, I looked him up, his address etc, just in case he laid a finger on me

3/10/102:20 PM

The Devil In DiamanteMember

Blimey Brummie, I really don't know what advice to offer. Is she still contacting you? is she ringing a mobile or landline? I know you can report nusciance calls to the phone company and if they persist get the Police involved...also, can't you pass his Parents address on to the bailiffs? Why should you get all the blame....honestly, i'd speak to the Police about the phone calls and harassment, maybe they'll have a word with her....

3/10/102:26 PM

kattymieowwMember 10 years

What a mess! You might have to end up with some legal advice as regards her stating he is at your address etc,a lawyers letter or summat.

3/10/102:27 PM

The Devil In DiamanteMember

Reference:

h I'm completely pissed off with him Supes - been completely taken in havent I?? Most worrying is that he is back home with his wife (fair do's) - but its these debt letters that I'm more bothered about

Just keep sending them back with 'not known at this address' on. My friend bought a flat that her nephew used to rent (from the previous Landlord), he had loads of debt and they sent stuff for ages, it eventually stopped when she kept sending them back...do not ever let anyone in though...

3/10/102:30 PM

Sexy_KellyMember

What DID said under no circumstances let any debt collectors in!!! Once they have entered a property peacfully they are then legally allowed to hire lock smiths to get in again if they think the property in there is by rights theres.

3/10/102:34 PM

Ad-Free	Search Site	Start Dialogs
Upload Photos	Upload Videos	Upload Audio
Upload Documents	Use Signature	Block Members
View Member Directory	Mark All Topics As Read	Edit Posts Anytime
Post To Walls

Skip to main content

Topics

Add Reply

Membership Required

Remove From Your Block List

Manage Follow Preferences

Block

Premium Membership Required

VIP

Please wait...