I suppose the hospital will have had to keep records as to where the body was buried.  Start by asking the hospital.

do you think you can just phone the hostpital up and they will help?

thanks cinds

Good a place to start as any.

Good luck. x

There may also be records at the Births and Deaths register in the area the baby died perhaps?
How terribly sad your friend doesn't know to this day.

wiil let u now how we get on
she only told me today

i know but im going too help all i can

they probably have a book of remembrance or something at the hospital as well, that the baby might be listed in. Im sure the hospital will bury the babies at the same place more or less, so i don't think it will be too hard.

I had a baby cremated, so i speak from experience, it was all very regimented and sadly routine, i don't think its too hard a question, they will be used to it.

thanks Gypsie and  xx
who do you think i should ask for when i phone?

Hi Tina... my mum is in the same position, she had a baby boy that died in the 9th month she had to deliver him and he was buried.. but I believe the hospital still used an undertaker and back then (42 years ago) they buried babies in with other people.. !! (not saying all babies were) so we are starting with the undertaker but I think the hospital would be a good place to start...
Good luck for your friend, mum always wants to know but just doesn't know where to start, she also feels guilty too that she doesn't know where he is...

id phone the hospital, and ask for the unit that would be able to help with the details of a stilbirth. Then when you get the right place you can go into more detail, im sure they will have it on file and remember this is all in a days work to them, they wont bat an eyelid.

awwww pg thats how this lady is feels
i said to her she might be with other babys
so phone calls tomorrow and we might find her and thanks x

thats what im doing gypsie 1st thing tomorrow and thanks x

is there any possibility any of the required info would be on the mothers hospital files ?  this file follows you wherever you go - hosp own  records [ if they have kept them that long ] could be filed in the depths of beyond and maybe no one will want the bother of seeking them out

thanks mrs H never thought of that
good thinking

Tina - I was thinking about round here - our maternity hospital had a small piece of consecrated ground used for still borns - this hospital closed in 1986 and is now a small housing estate   all the paperwork would have gone to the main hospital that took over 15 miles away and i just cant see them bothering to look especially now everything is computerised but  patient files have remained intact 

good luck with this

mrs H  i will let u know how i get on with this
omg about  the housing estate

Does anyone remember who posted that fantastic link to a DS thread about a woman who was trying to re-unite some letters she found in a shop with a relative of the writers?

Sorry... but to cut a long story short, depending how much information your friend is willing to share Tina, and if you are registered on DS or knows someone who is, there were some unbelievably brilliant sleuths there who unravelled the story so far!

They may have the records... she should start with the hospital.   I worked on the Organ Retention Enquiry following the Alder Hey & Bristol Children's Hospital scandals.

We had to set up helplines for anyone enquiring whether the hospital had any of their relatives organs, our hospital didn't have any retained organs and did not foresee many enquiries... so I 'was' the helpdesk.    I took over 300 calls in the first week... the majority of them were enquiries such as this... people wanting to know what happened to their babies.

Unfortunately for a lot of them, the records just did not go back that far    I could only confirm that they were not retained.    

Products of conception (horrible horrible terminology)... i.e. miscarraiges were cremated at the hospital... with a chaplain's blessing,....

I have never heard of a hospital 'burying' a baby, I know there is no designated consecrated ground in our area's healthcare trust.  I hope I am wrong about this.
 
Can you let us know what  happens?

we have all the info xochiqetzal
its just the 1st time shes talked about it
thanks for your help x

 it was smiling angel on DS  - I dont know about who posted it here though  - I have the link saved

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/fo...thread.php?t=1132568

 

she was told the baby was buried might be wrong

Bless you MrsH!  
That's the one! So uplifting wasn't it?

edit: Ooooo! You are Smiling Angel!  
edit 2: sorry... read that too fast.. but thanks for posting the link. It's worth tina knowing about if the search gets tough.

I am really really hoping it isn't wrong... really hoping xxx

This is so sad and there's lots of women out there feeling the same.  It was such a lousy thing to do to them
Thank God attitudes have changed.  God Bless all those little Angels.

well i know our hospital burys babies. they have a special area at the local cemetery.

will keep you updated she was full term but not aloud to see her

I wish ours had Gypsie....  working on that helpdesk was... well, the nature of the enquiries were nothing like we had expected.  Heartbreaking some of them were... I had a 70 year old lady ring me... she had miscarried 50 years ago.... the GP had come out in the middle of the night and taken the baby away with him...  She wanted to know if we could tell her what he would have done with her baby.  We couldn't ... there are no records going back that far...

But what the whole thing highlighted was the sheer amount of women who have not had any form of closure in this kind of thing... just left wondering for decades and decades.

And our hospital cremated (I use the word cremated... they used the word incinerated... I refused to use that word) a lot of premature still borns... it sounds brutal and cruel... but it was just what was done then... there was a chaplain present... but god... having to tell people that...  my stomach has dropped just remembering it.

Call me Pam tina.

Ditty.. that must have been awful

well i have a happy story of a sad one.....
when i lost my baby, Southampton Princess Ann for all their faults did everything they could.
We got a choice of a burial or a cremation, we got a certificate, handprints, photos, time alone with the baby.
I went to the cremation and it was a full service with a car and a coffin at our local crematorium. Had we opted for a burial we would have had a plot and a headstone. 
The babys ashes were scattered at the garden of rest they had built especially at the hospital, we could not collect the ashes as it was too small, but they had done so much that was enough.
They also put the name and message in a remembrance book that is open at the hospital with all the other babies

I hope other places are like this these days.

it was Pam... but for me what was worse was the lack of aftercare.. of bereavement services that 'caught' the bereaved and usually bewildered relatives whilst they were at the hospital.   As a result of that helpdesk thing.. we put stuff in place to make sure that didn't happen anymore.  We developed a bereavement suite by the mortuary... and incorporated stuff into the paperwork to make sure people weren't just 'left wondering' or unable to access services.

And the mass 'cremations' no longer take place.

Gypsie..

Yes,...  even the hospital I worked at did things the way you described now... and have done for years.   My friend lost her baby boy and they too were left with their son... and the whole thing was dealt with sensitively with respect and dignity.

It just not always been that way.... and back then it was less accepted to question doctors and the establishment... so people were just left wondering.

Poor parents DPGt well i hope you find a good ending tina

My husbands` brother and SIL had a similar experience, Gypsie, although they opted for a burial - and that was 27 years ago.

dont know how to thank you all
you have all been fantastic x

I know a couple who've had that attention to their loss Gypsie. I felt they were comforted too. The time with the baby was essential to them too... and all the things you describe.

But it wasn't the same all those years ago, and I understand what you're saying Ditty... different times then.

Keep us posted tina, i hope you find out.

i will im on the phone 1st thing in the morning