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I hope things do improve - it must be awful to feel old and neglected in a care home.

 

It reminded me of this poem - please take time to read - it's very moving.

 

See Me


What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me --
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice -- "I do wish you'd try."

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.

Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you're looking at ME...
I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet;
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel --
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where once I had a heart,
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few -- gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last --
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses -- see ME!

<small>This poem was found among the possessions of an elderly lady who died in the geriatric ward of a hospital. No information is available concerning her -- who she was or when she died. Reprinted from the "Assessment and Alternatives Help Guide" prepared by the Colorado Foundation for Medical Care.</small>

 

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I love the poem but it is very sad  not sure what the changes are though as far as I  have seen it is that you have not to call an elderly person certain names like ..dear etc ..so as not to sound patronising to them I can not think of the other words,much bigger changes are needed like caring for patients properly, making sure the nurses are capable/want/ to look after them,hopefully there are other changes that will help the most vulnerable... 

Marguerita

I hear a little about this this morning, Marg.. I'm sure there was something about compassion going to be important than qualifications.   As someone whose Mum ended her days in a care home, I'm all for that.  Most of them don't need nursing, they need someone who's going to care that they're clean, fed, and talked to - not at.

Kaffs
Originally Posted by Pengy:

it always annoys me the way our elderly are cared for in these homes on a very tight budget (staff, food, equipment and medical supplies) that defies belief, yet the Prison Service treat criminals like honoured guests with no expense spared.  

 

 

Too right Pengy.

 

I think we've barely scratched the surface of what goes on in these "care" homes.

 

Let's sweep it under the carpet though shall we.

FM
Originally Posted by Pengy:

it always annoys me the way our elderly are cared for in these homes on a very tight budget (staff, food, equipment and medical supplies) that defies belief, yet the Prison Service treat criminals like honoured guests with no expense spared.  

 

 

Sad isnt it and wrong IMO. Any care homes anyone finds unsuitable for any reason, report them. I also dont buy this thing about some staff only working for the minimum wage and therefore not caring. I know plenty who care about the people they look after who are on minimum wages. There are of course some who dont care as much as they should do, this should come down to the interview  process and getting the right person for the job. Feeding an elderly person who cant feed themselves doesnt take as long as standing talking about the current episode of a soap,as i have seen some staff doing too many times, or discussing what they are doing that evening 

FM

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