I have to say I have not seen any 'bullying' (Overused word in my opinion)  on this forum, differences of opinion, yes, but I have differences of opinion with my nearest and dearest........they are still my nearest and dearest tho... (even tho they are wrong .) 

Hope you decide to come back soon, Cupcake. Sometimes a break is the best thing to have. You sounded upset in your post, hope you're ok...I can understand what you're saying.

I usually miss all the shenanigans on here(and that's probably best, because I don't understand all the history), so if something has triggered your departure, I'm sorry it's led to this sabbatical. Take care

As has been said already....I hope you do come back Cuppers because I do like to read your rants

As for when you were mistaken for Sparkles a little while back (I saw the posts at the time) I can honestly say I did also think you had daughters so it may have been a genuine mistake by whoever posted it (I can't remember).  I'm not sure why I thought you had daughters but I've never assumed you to be sparkles or anyone else and just got mixed up so maybe other people do aswell.

I do see how you would feel jumped on at times as yes, you post something and are pulled up on it but others 'get away with it' and I will say it is unfair at times so I do understand why you got upset.  At the same time you do post things that may offend people here so I see both sides of the argument.

Just have a breather and come back, you have every right to be here 

Cupcake's Sparkles.

Does it matter?

Hell no!

Enjoy your sabbatical Cupcake

Oh gawd ... that was me

I did genuinely think that cupcake had daughters ... and when she said she hadn't I was a bit embarrassed because I'd got it wrong.

Has she gone because of that? 

No Rexi there is more to it than that I think, from what I saw in other threads too.  The Sparkles/Cupcake thing has been brought up before you even mentioned the daughters thing 

I honestly did think Cupcake had daughters too so I understand how you got mixed up, it's a bit hard remembering who has what here!  

Cheers Ells ... I'd hate to think I was responsible for someone feeling bad enough to leave ... I shall miss her epic rants

Enjoy the break and come back soon Cupcake 

I honestly don't know how people come to this kind of thinking. It's a forum.....maybe it only happens when you become too involved .....it's always baffled me. Maybe it's the way I post......I post and then bugger orff

Have fun cupcake x .... & in the future try to take forum-life with a pinch of salt....it's not worth getting upset over x

No it wasn't because of that Rexi, it was due to a post in my Trivial thread and i do agree she does seem to be jumped on at times for no good reason

I agree. Hope Cupcake returns, I like the way she lays it all down....no cryptic craptic stuff.

If people see she's being jumped on why not stick up for her instead of making her feel like she's on her own? 

Well, given that I was the one that first said something about that post, I wonder if it's considered my fault? If so, then I'm sorry about that, however, I wasn't 'jumping on her for no good reason,' in fact, I didn't think that I was jumping on her at all, just stating an alternative view, so, I'm sorry if it was perceived in that way. Tbh,I can't remember ever having any kind of disagreement with Cups before...makes note to be more careful in future!

That's why I posted in this thread to say I did see how she would feel picked on because I don't want Cupcake to feel like everyone was just ignoring it.  I didn't see the 'offending' thread until after I saw this one so no point posting in the other one after this thread had been made.

The other thread alone might not seem like a big deal in all this as it wasn't exactly a huge argument and I don't think that alone led to Cupcake's leaving.  Over the past few months I have seen quite a few people seemingly picking apart cupcakes posts and bypassing posts made by others which were worse! 

I don't keep track of who said what and all that crap so I couldn't point out who exactly has upset Cupcake but I would be sure it wasn't just one person or just what happened in Aimees thread but more likely just a build up of all the wee things over the months.

That's what I was trying to say in my rambling post there Supes, I don't think it was JUST what happened in that thread that has made her want to leave so no, I don't think it's your fault but more an ongoing feeling of being picked on and maybe that thread was the last straw for her.

I see you're point Ells. I saw the thread after it happened too. Perhaps not so much that thread but I think it was probably the icing on the cake for her. I don't post often but when I do if I see her being picked apart by others I say so there and then. I have done many times. Everything she posts gets dissected to within an inch of it's life. Nobody else gets that treatment. Maybe others are just a bit more diplomatic about how they word things. To me a spades a spade and it's one of the reasons I like her. She says what she thinks and up until now I didn't realise it got to her so much. Yeah...she might be a bit sensitive but aren't we all at times? 

Sorry you're going Cupcake  I hope you don't stay away too long.

Come back for BB? We'll all be at each other's throats, so you won't feel alone 

There's always been a tendency to stick up for your forum mates, I've done it in the past Cags. It didn't matter so much before on C4 or even here in the beginning as it was very busy and, if you upset a few of the 'pickers' then there were other people to chat too.

One of the worst things about the shrinkage in traffic on here is that, if you upset the - I don't want to use the word clique so shall we just say - group that posts with eachother a lot, then they tend to ignore you and that makes it very difficult to enjoy being here.

Also makes it less likely and more risky to stick your head above the parapet when you see stuff that you think is OTT.

On balance though, much in the same way that Pretty P did, Cupcake does post very strong views on sometimes contraversial subjects so that does ramp up the reaction she gets. Where anyone draws the line between several people strongly refuting a view and it becoming a witch hunt is a matter of personal belief I guess.

Where I draw the line is when fms stop arguing the actual point and start instead joining in with eachother in poking fun at the fm instead of arguing against them as happened with a different fm that I stuck up for a while back. I have no doubt that occasion was ganging up and said so quite strongly only for really nasty comments to be posted by one fm which were later pulled just before the thread was.

I've never seen Cupcake treated quite that badly but I do think that at times on here there is 'A local shop for local people' mentality by a few.

one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

it's all in the mind .

some  fm's some times  poke fun at others because the other is hurling insults around.

more than two posters post independently  but in the same vein, it's never a question of  them having the same opinion to those onlookers, but merely  a 'clique' or   a gang of fm's , having a pop.

in my experience.look both ways before you leap, is my advice.

Don't stay away to long, BB will be back soon and hopfully so will you .

Exactly Jackson

And I'm sorry, but whatever the rights or wrongs of this situation,  as someone who posts mostly in the *group* threads like the Darnies and the Crib, ...all the  harping on about *cliques* that crops up at regular intervals  actually makes ME want to take a sabbatical!!!  

I didn't comment on the original post, cos quite frankly (as a grumpy 64 year old) my initial reaction may have got me banned But luckily I am a great believer in taking a deep breath and counting to 10 before  I post... by which time I have usually moved  on to the *everyone is entitled to their own opinion* position   However, had I hit the keyboard in this case it would not have been to support a clique.... or to get at Cupcake.... it would have been to put forward my point of view .. which may, or may not have happened to coincide with the views of others. I thought that was what a forum was for....

oh I dunno...  

I call that a bit of a result to tbh 

I am all for ignoring those we don't get on with...   that's ok in my book...   its when (as has been mentioned) some individuals posts are dissected & jumped upon. 

*Disclaimer - I am aware that I have been guilty of post jumping... not with Cupcake...  with someone else no longer here.     I hold my hands up that one.    My buttocks are just not heavy enough to contain my hands where that person was concerned.   HOwever, I do very much see this as a fault of mine, and its not something I am particularly proud of. 

Anyways...   

I'd like to see Cupcake back..     I think she's mellowed loads over the last few months...   and whenever I have posted conflicting views to hers she has discussed it with me in a friendly & reasonable manner.   I have no probs with her 

 Yeah I guess so Ditty, but this place needs more fms imo and behaviour like that just makes people less keen to want to spend time here or post.

I've not been on the forum for a couple of days (M.E. playing up) and come back to find we've lost another forum mate!  Sometimes I despair ~ there's a 11 page sticky which has come about , in part, due to our lack of numbers.  I'm a bit narky (giving up the fags) so I hope I don't go over the top, but we need *more* not *less* posters. 

I can't say I ever found Cupcake to be controversial, she had a refreshing forthright way of posting which gee'd things up from time to time and that's no bad thing imho.

I'm refraining from commenting on the reason for Cupcake going because I don't know enough about the incident, I'm only trying to highlight the fact that we can't afford to lose fms and maybe we should all try harder if we want to keep our community.

I'm sorry if this sounds preachy ~ its genuinely not meant that way, if anything the reason behind my post is sadness that we could be losing another member of our dwindling community.

I think she'll be back 

I hope so Aimee.

Come back soon cupcake,you don't annoy me.I like a good rant or two.

Cup take a break then come back.....As for the rest I could say a lot but later will do,the big I  am's need a mirror,yes while accusations were flying and fingers were pointing 5 pointed back at them.

How would any FM who was a Mod have handled the situation with Cupcake? 

all this and yet some fm's think that having a "home grown" mod would be a good idea?

tbh I would have advised that if she made a sweeping statement and people disagreed with her without getting nasty and she felt aggrieved at that then  taking a break was probably a good idea.. cos when you feel people are attacking you just because they don't have the same views that is when you don't need to be foruming..

but thats subjective olly, with your own interpretation of  what ocurred.

mods aren't here to offer advice, in my opinion, i don't think the cup cake situation  is an area where a mod would need to become invovled.

and therein lies the problem, as with the button pushers, people have this idea  that there is always recourse to a mod, when in reality, that would just make it worse, and complex.

I tend to disagree with you there Jackson...  if someone reports a post and the Mod feels the report is maybe unwarranted [which if they have sense they can gage form the tone of a thread]  all they can do is offer advice, and to be fair I think they are Mediators of sorts. . a forum can only run well if they do mediate where needed and if that means offering advice then so be it . .you need a third eye to evaluate a situation without emotion

we do disagree  now and then olly, but i cant help but love you anyways...

oooer 

*goes back down hidey hole *

Jackson and Olly sitting in a tree K I S S I N G 

jackson and olly for joint mods

I am too.... I don't see any 'big I ams' on this forum tbh.   I'm sorry cups went, I liked her and didn't think that anyone who was strong enough to post her views the way she did would allow herself to feel 'got at' because people disagreed - but then.. I don't know any 'big I ams' either so maybe I don't pay enough attention.