Having to deal with stuff in life is difficult enough, especially when it's stuff that's out of our control, but it's a lot harder (and a lot more heartbreaking to see) when it's someone who's college age. Chicken you've said you don't think you can discuss things face to face, completely understand that (although once you find you have that connection with someone you'll be amazed at how easy it is). If you feel that you can't talk on the phone, then maybe write it down as someone suggested and give it to your GP in an appointment. Don't worry if it doesn't seem to make sense or you can't pinpoint exactly what it is that's bothering you, that can be looked at, the most important thing right now is how you feel inside. Awww bless ya mate I really wish you the best xx
Had to check back in to this as it came to mind. I echo Karma's sentiments Chicken. My first uni days were a blast (careless and carefree, but lacking the base hedonism referenced here). I felt, and still feel like you are feeling every now and then. My brain would go ten to the dozen and imagine all kinds of scenarios for whatever sleights I imagined I'd done. I'm glad you can share on here how you feel. That really is the key to a resolution...admitting to who or whatever that you are suffering in your own mind. Share what you want in here, I sometimes wish I had such a sympathetic/empathetic audience as some of the FMs in here constantly prove to be. I also wish I had your courage to admit it so freely. You are very courageous, you know 
Dear Chicken,you could possibly be suffering with Bipolar disorder,in which case you should talk to your GP.There is a lot of treatment for this disorder that makes sufferers a lot more content with their lives.
chicken if you were an awful person i doubt you would get all these great replies, it looks to me like the people on here care about you 
