Chicken, please go to see your GP, these feelings you are having could easily be a thing of the past if only you would seek some advice. You don't have to feel like this, most FM's know what you are going through and if only you knew that it only takes one step in the right direction to get your life back on track, please considerate it.

ill be ok Dame , something's just upset me this morning

Chicken ,I know its easy for me to say ,but please dont give up.
Stay here on the forum ,speak to your good friends,many here care for you dearly.Myself included.

There is no point, Chicken.  If you're so sad speak to someone.  They may not make it better but they cant make it any worse.  

I hope so Chicken, please consider talking to someone 

Chicken, I know how it feels...   

There are a lot of lovely caring people here...
As Erin says, stay here and chat with us if that helps or just know we care.

I just feel so many emotions. Guilt , shame , worry... Cant remember the last time i had a decent night sleep... usually still awake at 3am then up at about half 7-8. I feel drained

I can cure you through the power of Disco if you like. 

Chicken , have you spoken to anyone yet/seen your doc/ written things down?

I looked for you yesterday but couldn't find you Chicken.
At least you have returned to talk with us.
Try to do something about it Chicken. At least try.
We care about you, and don't like to think of you feeling unhappy much  of the time.

Thanks guys

Chicken, can I ask why you feel like this? Have you had something happen in your life that's really affected you? Or is this something thats come out of the blue?

Chicken, unless I'm mistaken, you are still feeling guilty, ashamed and worried because you think that if you don't do well at university that your family will think that you are a failure. And this feels worse at present as the summer holidays are drawing to a close and you will have to return to university. As a result of this internal conflict you sink into a state of depression which clearly have lead to a state of sleeplessness, waking up still feeling drained and feeling that you want to give up.

I and many others have advised you to see your GP, but you seem reluctant to do so. But that reluctance is a result of your depression - if you feel that you are not worth it, then you think what's the point in seeing a GP. All the more reason for recognising that you are suffering from depression, accepting this, and being honest with your GP.

And think about this. People who suffer from depression will often show physical symptoms which other people see but you might not. I know a man who suffers from bouts of depression but can't tell his wife. But I know that his wife knows that there is something wrong, but he tries to pretend that everything's OK. As a result she is worried sick.

It is likely that the members of your family that you are closest to already know that something is wrong, and so are worried about you. But they don't say anything to you and you don't say anything to them.

So talk to the member of your family that you feel closest to, open up about your thoughts and feelings, and be honest. This is your life, not their's. Do you really think that they would want you to be unhappy or would they rather want you to be happy? And make them realise that this is not just a sudden feeling which will go away once you go back to university, but feelings which you have had for a long time. They might seem a bit disappointed at first, but they will soon come to terms with this, and will support you in whatever career and decisions you want to follow.

Chicken I hope you are feeling a bit better now, but I agree with what El Loro  has  said. I remember how worried and upset you were about the university thing last year. Please, please try to listen to what everyone is telling you and talk to someone and explain exactly how you feel. But whatever, remember that you have a lot of friends on here who really care about you.

Thanks El Loro , but it isn't about uni this time. Im not so worried about that as I passed my first year quite well so that spurned me on a bit.

I think I just over analyze things and as a result they don't leave my head.

You're at college?  Go out, dance all night, take a pile of drugs and have sexual intercourse.  Then come final year do a bit of swotting and try and scramble a reasonable degree.

Next! 

Hi Chicken

Thanks for coming on here this morning
Your next step really does need to be voicing how you feel to a health professional as you need to find out if you need talking therapy or antidepressants or both to regular your mood.
There is no disgrace in either treatment. I've had both and I'm on tablets now because they really do help me to function as I would wish to.
If you broke your leg you would go to a health professional, wouldn't you?
Your feelings are no less valid and you need to have them assessed. You may find that getting things out in the open will be all you need.
You would be surprised how common a problem you are having.
You are a lovely person and we don't like to see you suffering unnecessarily, so please make the call and ask to speak to someone.
And....... we want you to start a Good Morning thread every day!

CCM xx

Aww, don't give up Chicken. Going over and over things in your mind can become exhausting and lead to breakdown. Try to leave things that have already happened behind you as soon as you can and begin to enjoy the moment you are in.

Chicken, it's good that you are able to come on here and tell us how you are feeling. The very worst thing you could do is bottle things up.
I do wish you could just bring yourself to talk to your GP, as there is so much help s/he could give you. If you aren't able to talk about the way you are feeling, then write it all down and give it to your GP, and be sure to let them know how long you have felt this way.
Please get some help, you are such a lovely FM and deserve to feel so much better than you do right now.

Don't dwell on the negatives in life, numerous though they are.  Be stronger.

Chicken

Chicken, don't do that - taking drugs will not help you at all and may well may things worse. The same goes for drowning your sorrows with booze. You maight feel better for a short time, then feel a lot worse afterwards.

You can help yourself Chicken - talk to someone.  There's some excellent advice in here 

I was advocating indulgence in all the hedonistic pleasures available when one is tip toeing through tertiary education.  Such things are good for the soul, like it or not. 

Bless you CCM, you're only a young lad. You shouldn't have to go through stuff like this, but you can get it sorted though.  x

Probably best to avoid street drugs if you're a depressive, though.  The obvious course of action, as has already been mentioned a few times in this thread is to go see a GP and he/she will be able to prescribe something that really will make a difference, eg. Valium.

Not sure diazepam is a good plan but hey ho.  In for a penny in for a pound. 

I really wasn't being flippant.  I already suggested speaking to someone on the grounds it couldn't make anything worse.  Taking time out from ones troubles and having a fukk of a good time, however hard or pointless it initially seems, seems a plan, to me too.

chicken basically you've got two choices...........either carry on like this......or try and get yourself some help.........

i know it seems daunting to go and speak to your doctor........but think how you felt when you first thought of sharing your problems on here........were you scared?......worried people wouldn't take you seriously?......ignore you?........i bet all those feelings crossed your mind but you took the plunge and did it.......and no one's done any of those things........everyone wants to help and be supportive..........and that's what it'll be like going to the docs......all the panicky feelings will swirl in your mind........but just keep telling yourself......'i can do it'.....and you know what?.......you can!

just think.........after that initial scary first phone call and appt with the docs.....you can look forward to getting yourself feeling better and happy.......and yer know whose going to benefit the most from that?...........YOU!!

go for it mate......you have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain.

I'm not sure just prescribing pills is the best thing (although some crap GP's do this just to get rid). No doubt some anti-d's do help, but a good GP will talk things through with their patient and either follow up in a week or so (depending on how severe things are in their opinion) - or refer them to a local counselling project, either way they will fully diagnose what's going on and prescribe and treat as necessary. There's no shame in asking for help at all, no matter what age you are. And I think CCM will find that at his age, he's certainly not alone in this.

^^^^ Wot Spongey said. x Also worth remembering that the GP or other professionals wont judge you. I know it can feel really isolating, but you'd be surprised how many people GP's see on a weekly  basis for depression symptoms or other issues of a similar ilk.

I feel like ive brought all the guilt and shame on myself , and thats true. Ive brought this all on myself ...

im depressed about things ive done , things that make me feel guilty and that make me think im an awful person

Maybe so, maybe not, Chicken.  I don't know your circumstances.

Is there something stopping you even just making an appointment with your GP?  You don't have to go and even if you do you can get up and walk out.  It's a zero loss idea.

Chook xxxx long time no see (as they say) but I'm really sad to see you aren't happy   Everyone here has suggested the best thing for you which is your GP or if you can't take that step yet then confide in somone you trust (an old teacher/relative/friend etc) and they can maybe help you, sometimes just talking about things can help.  Don't give up mate, once you get some help and get your head sorted you will see a brighter outlook and be able to do more things that make you happy.  Not sure why you are feeling so down at the minute but remember it's not what you've done in the past but how you deal with what you are doing now.

Oh bless you x CCM, none of us are perfect, absolutely no-one. Whatever it is you may or may not have done (and I'm sure it's probably not as bad or severe as you think - it just seems like it is because of where you are right now) - you can't change the past, but you can make a difference to how things go from today and onwards. Carrying guilt and pain is destructive, seriously, in the first instance talk to your GP or someone you feel you can trust. Once you are in a stronger place, you can then start to address the wrongs you feel you have done and even make amends to people if you feel that would help, but right now, you're not in a position to do that, you need to focus on you. You are the most important person in your life and it's your life to live.

I don't know what is worrying you but everyone makes mistakes (that is why they make pencils with a rubber on the end) but what is past is past and all you can do is learn from things and accept that your mood is affecting the way you dwelling on it.
You are a little love so give yourself a break.

You are not alone in that Chicken.
If you were an awful person you would not be thinking about things you have done to make you feel shameful and guilty.
It is vital you move on, though. You cannot put the clock back.
You are not an awful person. Get that into your head. If you were awful you wouldn't be having pangs of conscience would you?
It is never, ever, ever too late to put these things behind you.
Some people think and analyse too much, too hard, for too long. You seem to be one of 'em Chicken.
         

Chicken, if a friend of yours came to see you and explained how they were feeling about the same things as you are concerned about, what would you say to them?
I bet you wouldn't judge them harshly and you would offer the same sort of advice we are offering you. Am I right?