ANNOCA - post pics please if you want

ANNOCA... just seen you'd logged in... we all want to know how your day went... and I'll give you a huge forum hug on behalf of everyone... talk away.

I will never be able to thank you all enough for all your support and hugs. I don't think I would have coped without you all.

I didn't sleep at all last night because little Remy was not in her usual place in the crook of my knees.

Today has been dreadful.  Everywhere I look, I expect to see her there - but of course she isnt.  I founf myself having a couple of conversations with her only to realise she wasn't there to hear.

Remy loved Christmas and would "help" me put up the tree and the decorations and would then spend the season sitting and admiring them.  I took the decorations down today and was thankful that she didn't have to see that as she always went under the table when that was happening and "muttered" under her breath.

I washed all her beds and blankets and bowls today but couldn't bring myself to go down to the car to get her travel bed and blanket.  She loved going out for a "walk in  the car" to go and feed HER ducks and swans every day.

I feel as though my heart has broken in two and the pain is terrible.  I can't stop myself crying.

All I wanted to do this evening was to take my meds as usual plus a little but more - go to sleep and not wake up

I am sorry that I haven't managed to get myself together better.  I opened the door to the garden at one point today and called Remy to go to potty and of course she didn't come and then I noticed that there had been another heavy snow fall and all her little footprints were gone.

I feel there is no point in getting up in the mornings as there is nothing to get up for and there is no wagging body and cheeky face waiting for me to open my eyes so she could "wash" my face.

The noise of silence is deafening - and I am not coping well at all.

Someone suggested that I bump this thread but I have no idea how to do that.

Thank you, each and everyone of you for being there for me.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

you did Annoca - by posting in it and keeping it to the main page - where you can find it if you want to add to it 

Thank you for posting and letting us know how your day went - it wont be easy Annoca but as they say time is a great healer and each day gets a little better    keep posting - we are all here for you

that christmassy pic is just so cute - thanks for posting

You sound so down.

You think that little (very cute) doggy worked so hard keeping you well over the years so you could go and undo it all with some tablets? I dont think you would want all her hard work to have ultimately been for nothing do you?

I'm a little worried about you now hun, are your sons coming to be with you at all?? or someone else? If not maybe you should ask one of them... i dont think you should be on your own right now hun as you say the silence is too much.

So sad to think of someone in all this pain, as others have said keep posting here so we know you are ok.

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your Remy. Our dogs have a very special place in our hearts.

awww hun this is such sad news i am truly sorry.
I have lost a pet and know how devastating it really is. No one can understand the bond you have with your furry friends. Its one that will last a life time.

Reading your posts I can tell that you and Remy were 100% devoted to each other. You clearly shared many happy times together and Remy assisted and helped you a lot!

I agree with a previous post that you should not be on your own during this clearly difficult time. Understandably , you are finding it hard to cope. I promise you hun that it gets easier day by day. You will never forget how wonderful your little friend is but you will find it easier to cope day by day.

Keep safe hun and keep posting on here to let us know your ok

RIP Remy , stay safe

Annoca, i do understand how desperately sad you are feeling at the moment. Please come on here and talk to someone, don't feel you are alone.

Annoca,I know how you feel ,I was the same when I lost my last little darling.You have so much to offer a little dog,so the sooner you get another the better you will feel.The bonding  with a new doggie will help your grief,There is no point in waiting to get another, start the ball rolling today.There is a dog out there just waiting that needs you to be it's mother.
Remy will help you choose the one I'm sure.Go for it girl.

Annoca... you are coping.   The unable to stop crying, the not knowing what to do with yourself... its normal.   Its exactly how I was.   The wishing not to wake up cos just to 'be' hurts too much - that too is a normal feeling.

But, you know you can't fulfil that desire... cos you'd hurt your boys and others that care about you.   Also... you won't always feel this desperate,  it is very very very gradual... but soon you will have the odd hour without tears running down your face.. then that will be two hours... then you'll find you only cry three or four times a day.  etc.

There is no quick fix...  but you don't have to go through this alone... there are loads of us here who are genuinely worried about you, have felt this pain, and there is usually someone here most of the time who will talk if you need to.

Bless you, bless Remy xxxx

Annoca  So sorry for your loss.
There are several free Pet Bereavement helplines you can call if you don't feel like coming on here as well
http://www.animalsamaritans.org.uk/bereave.htm

ANNOCA - everything you feel is totally understandable
I slept with out dogs coat for a week after he passed
I still have his comb full of fur too

Annoca, so truly sorry to hear of your loss I do hope you can find some comfort knowing that we care for you very much and understand how you are feeling

dont think we can say this too much at the moment Annoca
Please also keep on top of your food intake and Diabetes care no matter how sad you are feeling - I am bothered about this as I know how quick it can get out of control   you have lots of caring friends here - never feel you are alone - I know it is easy to say but most of us have been where you are at the moment

Annoca - only just seen this - tears are rolling down my cheeks reading it.
When we lost our dog - about 14 years ago, it was heartbreaking - I still miss her, but she was not my companion to quite the extent that Remy was to you. I hope that you will eventually bond with another dog in the same way, but until then, don't feel ashamed of grieving - NO other dog will ever take her place.

Annoca you are feeling and doing all the right things we need to grieve and crying is good for the soul,when my lovely Scottish terrier passed away I thought my world had ended the house was so quiet it was awful,I could not sleep I got out of bed one night  sat at the kitchen table and cried until I could cry no more,I got pen and paper and wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved and missed him I poured my heart out and it helped me so much doing that I still have the letter,when my family said I should get another dog I was horrified saying Ben was irreplaceable,I felt at the time I was being forced to go and see these westie puppies, I decided to have two as I thought that way I would not get too close to them as they would have each other for company I did not want to go through that pain ever again,they really helped me and of course all that not getting to close went out the window as I adore them,they never replaced Ben but they have shown me unconditional love and loyalty how could I not love them right back,I still have my moments and think of Ben and cry for him and that was eight years ago,there is a doggy somewhere waiting for you to take home love and bond with and slowly you will be able to smile again God bless you

Remy looked so lovely in her pictures

Annoca - many of us have been where you are now. The loss a a much loved dog is almost unbearable. I still cry for my Murphy all the time. BUT like Jenstar said Remy wold never have wanted you to feel like this, she worked hard to keep you happy and healthy. And I couldn't agree more with Bojangles either. I could never replace Murphy, but we rescued Daphne from a horrible life within a month, a life which could have ended if we hadn't done so, not to mention the nine puppies that she was carrying. She changed our lives for ever by giving us purpose and happiness again. You rescued Remy once from an awful existence and now Remy would want you to do the same for another. To lose Remy at this time of year is especially sad. But this is also the busiest period for animal abandonment. I know it probably feels too soon to be thinking like this but there will be a little dog out there somewhere just waiting for a wonderful new mummy like you so you can look after each other with love and affection. Remember you have many friends on here and we all want to make sure you are happy and safe Annoca.

I didn't know all that Marge.   The bit about your family and feeling forced to go and see puppies.   No wonder you remember my story about my parents (with me being the one that had to do the forcing).



The letter is a good idea.

the way it was with my parents was that they needed to fill the physical hole, not the emotional one (as I agreed it would have been wrong to try to replace Wills).    their house was like a mausoleum, the place screamed of aching emptiness.   I felt they needed another dog to fill that, to allow them to grieve emotionally, alongside the new dog.   

It did work, much much better than I had hoped.  The day we got chuffley made me understand the meaning of bittersweet...   proper smiles at the same time as the tears.  weird feeling.

Edited to add:  the discussions that led up to us getting Chuffley were harsh.   My mum felt I didn't  understand, I was being cold, insensitive, unfeeling.  At any other time I would have backed off... but I kept on... and it was a really really hard thing to do.    the day they got chuffley my mum gave me a hug and said "thank you, you were right, I didn't see it then.  Sorry for the things I said, you were right, thank you for persevering"

Ditty - my mum and stepdad didn't want another dog after they lost their dog Timmy at the grand old age of 21. I convinced her (through guilt) to take one of our pups. They ended up taking two of ours and rescuing a mistreated Jack Russell pup at the same time. They are now so much happier that they have the dogs, they have more purpose and structure in their lives, and the dogs lead a life of riley too. They had two years without dogs and she always seemed so down. I'm so glad I pushed her, and she now admits that it was the best thing I could have done for her.

Hi Ditty  when I first read your story that was what struck me most it was so like mine, it was my daughter that kept on at me and took us to see the puppies Angus and Hamish were the last two left, the rest is history

We were dealt a bitter pill two years ago - we lost our old timer and six weeks later the youngster died suddenly while in the vets care - we had the youngster who was just 6 when he died so that we would never be in such a lonely position again when anything happened to the older one   they were both black labs - the young one wasnt actually ours - he was on long term care for a neighbour who because of illness couldnt look after him - he visited her very frequently though - imagine my sorrow at having to go and tell her what had happened to him - I cant begin to explain what this did to the family unit and me in particular being home alone all day losing both so quick together - but in the meantime our only remaining cat turned over a new leaf - she took over where the dogs had been - she guards us all in different ways - she sees us all to bed  and the list goes on  she is such a changed character as she didnt like the dogs - we have decided not to have another one till we no longer have her around 

rightfully or wrongfully that is our decision but no matter who visits the subject of dogs comes up and  lengthy debates and chastising that we need one where we live etc etc etc  *sighs* one day we will but not at the moment

We had a fatal blow about 4 years ago now . Our Goldie Sam was diagnosed with cancer at the mere age of 7.He had one round of chemotherapy. He went into remission and was looking good. But , as well always knew it would , it came back and eventually got into his brain. He was having regular fits the day he was put down. I will never forget that day. He got bad really fast. In the morning , on his walk you could not tell he was ill , he looked amazing! 

Mum took to him to vet and he was put to sleep in the boot of the car as he could not get out , she came back and we all just cried and felt numb. Him not being there felt really odd! He was part of us.  

My mum at the time did not want another dog. Could not face it. But eventually time healed the pain and we are now the proud owners of Dylan , our gorgeous 2 and half year old Goldie ( pics in the snow pic thread ) 

We will never forget Sam tho , he was our first dog and totally devoted to all of us! 
He was so brave to go through what he did,

RIP Sam

Your mum is like mine as well Queenie...  admitting this kind of thing is not something they do as a rule..   by the same reckoning I can imagine how hard the forcing bit was...  my mum said some shocking things to me, which I do put down to grief...  but even so... is a hard thing to do.


MrsH - your cat stepped up though...  your reasons for not getting another dog are not fear of disloyalty or fear of being hurt again... they are out of consideration for the cat.   Thats a 100% valid reason in my opinion.

Chicken -  Its horrible isn't it... we lost ours to cancer too... if money could have saved him both our families would have remortgaged our homes...  I am glad you found Dylan.xx

Gosh I'm so sorry for you Annoca

I don't have animals but I can imagine it must be like losing a member of your family , especially in your situation.

Everyone in this thread has been great supporting you and I'm not really sure what to say (everyone else has said it so much better than I ever could).

But please remember you have an outlet for your grief on here and the support of loads! Never feel alone. Sometimes you just need to ramble on about memories to help the healing process.

So sad.
R.I.P.

Am doing a Xochi here....

Annoca... I can see you are online.

Are you ok?   How are you today?  wanna talk about it?

Hi Annoca if your reading this

You don't have to post Annoca.  Just be reassured that some people here are sending you warm wishes, and sincere concerns!  

Sending positive thoughts to you Annoca

Annoca, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I remember you talking about Remy before Christmas.

Annoca - I see you're back online now, but as Tiddly has said, don't feel you have to post if you don't want to.
I'd just re-read your post at the top of this page and I've got a lump in my throat.
Please don't feel like there's no-one to listen now Remy has gone - we're all still here if you need us, OK?

Bumping for Annoca. We're still thinking of you.

..Annoca....

I don't know what I have done to deserve such good friends on here.  Thank you ALL for your concern and good wishes.

I am still struggling to come to terms with the loss of Remy.  It is not helped by the fact that I am totally snowed in.  I can't get out and no one can get in.  My boys are desperately upset that they can't get to me.  They loved Remy so much too and they could always be sure that I was okay with her by my side.

Living in the foothills of the mountains has it's pleasures but it also has it's drawbacks.

Can anyone tell me how to correct when I am/am not online?  I seem to be showing I am online when I am not and I don't understand it.

I am trying to keep on top of the diabetes but the stress and upset has made it fluctuate.  Remy was so wonderful at keeping it in check.  It will take a lot of getting used to coping without her.

I apologise for my garbled writing - everything is just a fog of tears and heartbreak.

Annoca - can't answer your question re when you are online, can't really do much except give you a hug

Did your temporary replacement dog arrive today?

Annoca... am glad that your boys are going to get to you.. when the weather allows.

 I will have a look at the online/offline showing thingy and then come back and post.. hang on....

ok... take your curser to the top of this page and at the top when your cursor is in position you will get a menu bar show itself... hover over 'Manage' then click on 'My Settings' from the drop down box that appears.

On the My settings page.... on the left hand side is a heading in bold "Privacy".

Under that heading is an option box with the text "Keep me invisible for Online Now List"  If you tick that box you will not show when you are online.

Sorry those instructions are a bit messy... I'm not as good at is as Fluff is.

so sorry to hear your sad news

Very sorry to hear that...