We've all stopped drinking     

I'm on my own then.  

It does seem very quiet atm, Col.

I think, although BB and the Olympics obviously had the forum quite busy - it also had a bit of detrimental effect on internet life.     Watching more telly broke some of my online habits - I still like to post in the live threads for things like Strictly, but i don't spend so much of my time online (not just here)  Maybe others have been the same

Go on then Kaffers ... tell us how you are filling your time now!!

Only the clean bits mind ...

Reporting for duty 

They've all gone Crimble shopping Cologne!

Be prepared for the deluge  

I hope you get lots in yours. Spread the feeling.

Funnily enough, I've just been looking at the Christmas Market website!

I've been dipping in and out when I have the time. 

1. THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. 
   
   After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to rea

   ch the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
   I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
   At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
   This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
   Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect!

    

   

    

    

 Slim 

Slim

I am in bits here !!!

And Hello You back

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The thread's gone off track. I'm happy.

    Well.. I've just watched the whole of Dr Who uninterrupted for example.. I've read a few books and my house is usually tidy.   Crap - this forum needs to busy up...  

LOL Slim! 

I'm busy sorting mails out but going to eat now and will be back later 

Grrrrrrr! I forgot it was on. I'll have to watch on catch up 

I've got Dr Who on series record ... Haven't watched any yet.

I know what you mean re a tidy house. We are empty nesters now, whilst I miss the little people like mad, the house is soooo tidy, and even better, it stays that way

If you're pushed for time - watch the first one and the last one... the others are bit meh...   

I've not had time to fart in peace lately let alone browse forums. Logged into FB after 2 weeks and had so many notifications I logged off again  Peace tonight though. Just me and my boys. 

Quiet is good. I've stopped watching all the reality stuff. The reason the girls went out is coz I won't watch X Factor. The little big man and me watched Blockbusters while the little little man dozed. Now they're both asleep I'm gonna watch First Blood 

Maybe we're just waiting for the next big thing to transfix us? It was quite a Summer.

Hi Baz   she's still there. However things seem to be going in the right direction. The managing agents of this apartment building look like they'll take court action to evict her, finally [ I threatened to get a solicitor on them ]. I just put in earplugs when she starts 

Thanks Baz 

Thanks Summer. I'm looking forward to the party I'm going to have 

Looks like they're finally taking action but don't let up on them - if you back off they'll think it's OK to stop or that the problem is solved if you don't keep complaining