*long coverage of hair colouring products. Rabble rousing music until the eye spews out its spawn*
Na na na na na nanaaa etc.
*Brian checks out his couture, knows its bad news. Smoothes his eyebrow with a camp flick of his finger. Checks out the audience challengingly. Minces down to the catwalk.*
Good evening everybody! *appears stunned anyone is still watching*
So here we finally are! After about a thousand years here we are. It's time for you to choose your winner. If you knew whether it was a vote save or evict. Keep up you losers because we changed the rules and still don't now what they are. 
Your HMs have been through heaven and hell! *smug*. Oh no! That was another series! *loud smug laughter* But are you ready to choose your winner? Phone now to save your favourite! *loud musically music so you can't hear the numbers*.
*more hair products later*
Welcome back! *amazed anyone is* The votes have been fixed counted and anyone who had FB votes will be reimbursed. Honest. Whatever.
So the first evictee in the final night is.................. *Brian gets fake tan and spends private time with Scott before the announcement*
Deana! *Crap! Didn't see that coming. Wild panic behind the scenes to make this look good.*
*House door spews out the well groomed Deana, but frankly that dress has been seen enough already.*
Brian. Goodness Deana! I wasn't expecting to see you here at this point!
Deana. Nor did I.
Brian. I think certain people may have been voting you out! I can't understand who they may be! *knowing wink to camera*
Deana. Oh I'm sure you do, but whatever. I'm a soldier and my other ones are still standing.
*shuffles Deana out of the way for the next eviction*
This is Big Brother. Or more importantly Brian!
The next person to leave the house is.........
Sara! *fake shock*
*she stumbles down the stairs and falls over due to her high heels. Her interview is cancelled.*
*hair products later*
Brian. Gosh! Don't worry! Sara is being taken good care of. So let's stuff you voting folk and make you vote again now! Hahaha! Oooops. 
So we are down to the last four, assuming LukeS is still in the mix!
*Brian* Ooops. Shouldn't have let soundbite out!
*To be followed for SuziQ*
