Dear Marge, I didn't know this, huge hugs and love for you  (((((Hugs )))))) I've been aware of loss since the age of 4 although I didn't really understand it at that age. It's been a constant in my life. I never realise how much until I talk about how many losses I've had to others and they always say they've never experienced so many, I've never stopped being surprised at other people's response at whatever age I've talked about it.


Although I've lost so many family members including parents, many friends, two babies and many pets if I lost my hubby or son I really don't think I'd want to carry on with this life. I've always had the utmost respect for those who find the strength to continue if their closest loved ones have to leave them. I've needed strength many times but cannot imagine I have that much strength tbh as I'd rather be with them than be here.

Why only First christmas missing someone It's no easier 4 Christmas' on....

I agree, but also feel the first date of a birthday, anniversary or whatever is part of a difficult hurdle to overcome. It doesn't mean that other dates, celebrations or years are insignificant because they're not.

I am so sorry Yellow Rose you have had so many losses  sending you big Hugs wish I could give you a real one

Thank you so much Marguerita   I really appreciate that, and send much Love to you

yellow rose
its hard to know what to say tis very hard

Thank you so much Tina   it's not just words that help so many of us through challenging times, but also knowing that some people genuinely care, that helps a lot from observation and from personal online experiences over the years

I have lost so many loved ones in recent years,if I named them all it is hard to believe..my Husband my Mother my Dad my lovely sister, Mum in law,sister in law and 6 months ago my Brother who was my best friend and whom I loved so much I am still struggling. He was so full of hope in his terrible illness..

Christmas for me is a very sad time, my beautiful Mum died on a Boxing day, after the stupid hospital sent her home on Christmas eve without an oxygen supply, which they knew was vital. I've lost 2 loved one's this year, but no-one will ever replace my Mum.

It is so hard to keep going at times,my thoughts and love are with you Essie

I've been a real moaner this year about Christmas, but my family are all still intact   No more moaning from me .............Ever

Elkie and Essie,(((( hugs)))). thoughts and love to you for your personal losses and feelings xxxx

Yellow Rose, My Gentle Duchess, I have moments, unfortunately I'm having one tonight.

Oh bless your heart Essie,  I know some days are so painful, who among us doesn't have such days. Even on the worst days I take comfort that those I love and miss are in a better place and free from all earthly pain or experiences, that gives me comfort eventually. I know not all have the same beliefs as I do but I always hope for everyone they can find peace of mind somehow

I agree Y Rose, Faith must always be with us, Goodnight  YR and Essie 

Goodnight Elkie, I wish you a peaceful night's sleep. I feel we all have to find our way of dealing with loss in whatever way or belief helps us the most

Goodnight yellow Rose, I wish you the same, and may the angels tickle your life with kindness

Thank you Elkie  I appreciate your message as I believe Angels watch over us and I wish the same for you 

To all Who have posted about their loss.

Sorry Charming i realised that i should have been a little broader in my title after i'd posted it but i was thinking alot my mum when i did.

It dawned on me the other day its almost 6months since she passed and how much it still hurts doesnt feel like 6months at all ......  miss her so much *swallows lump in throat*

Jen...who are you missing?

My mom temps, she died in june, cancer ontop of everything else she was 52

Nice one Stoory.  We're all guilty of moaning at times but when you read about the sorrow some people have this time of year it makes us all take stock.
I will be missing my wonderful Father but as he loved Christmas and the family gatherings we will do our best to keep the spirits up and flowing.  
I'm also so glad my Mother is still with us to celebrate another year.  

We have also lost some members of this Community this year.  I hope their families are coping.

Hugs to Jenstar and everyone.

Jenstar, and everyone else who is missing someone,

To everyone who's missing a loved one this Christmas

Mine isn't a loss but it'll be the 1st Christmas my nana won't be here. She's spending it with her friend who's husband passed away in October. They're going to the local pub for Christmas dinner. It's always packed so they won't be lonely but I'll miss not having her nagging on the day

First without dad died the end of Aug, 9th without mum. But its also the 9th christmas I'll spend playing with my nephews toys.

 to all who have lost loved ones. I'm spending Xmas day with my late husband's sister and family, so we'll raise a glass to him, and other missing loved ones before the meal. It's my 6th without him, and he's missed around the xmas table every year.   Mind you, there's always so much tension there, that I'm not expecting a fantastic day! Better than spending it on my own though.

Huge hugs to you all who have lost family, pets etc and you're right - it doesn't get any easier.  I like the idea of having a toast at the start of dinner to remember loved ones who have gone, so the toast at our table this year will be 

To my granddad, you may have been gone since 1987, but you are never forgotten.  Thank you for explaining football to me and taking me to the match when Dad wouldn't, miss you xx

To my nan, you were my other mum when mum was working and there hasn't been a day since 1991 that I haven't missed you.  Love you nan xx

To my dad, you went too soon in 2006 and just missed my 40th, I miss you dad every day and always will xx 

To my MIL a total character who we lost in 2002, didn't see us get married, but I take care of him the way you would have wanted me too.xx

To my FIL who we lost in 2004, you didn't see us married either, but when you called me your daughter in law, I was so proud.  Miss you xx 

And to Posh, Holly, Roly, Rist, Lady Pen and all the other pets who enriched my life, you are missed every single day xx

That's brought a tear to my eye.  Lovely sentiments PinkBabe.

same here it was lovely

PinkBabe, that was a beautiful acknowlegement to the ones you love and miss.

aww Jen I'm terribly sorry to read about your mum   52 jees that's no age at all

I thought I'd do a separate post for this, because I didn't want to trivialise what Jen is going through, but we're a real Christmas family so instead of being sad about those who are gone I celebrate Christmas like they might have done.  It really does put a smile on my face

Not the first Christmas though, that's for just keeping your head down and getting through as best you can

Mrs Crossy was in floods of tears last night. That song which goes along the lines of "I wish I could dance with my father again?" set her off. He died 37 years ago today. Not the first one, but I know that every Christmas is difficult for her.

s for all

And thanx for the hugs left for me.

Crossy that song got me a bit too and my dads alive! The lyrics are just touching. to Mrs Crossy.

Hugs for everyone!

Dance With My Father gets me everytime too and my dad is still alive and well.

This is my first christmas without Blanche

Same here   I sobbed for hours after it.

Hugs for everyone
My heart is broken through loss too. They say time is a healer. It`s true, but the pain never really goes away especially at Christmas.
I miss my Mum walking through the door with her daft presents, like a lamp wrapped in Xmas paper to the exact shape and her saying to me.. open this last, this is your special surprise
I wish she was here to make me laugh but I know I`ll see her again one day.
For everyone who has lost, you wiil see them again one day   Meanwhile, take comfort, they are with you and watching over you every day

awwwwwwww love it
my mum was the same made me laugh without trying