Some Fairfax prepared a couple of months ago, in fact day one I think Lee 

    

Shhhh,say nothing until you hear more,I've taken  care to ensure he's as near to god as he's ever going to be,hence he's on the roof on the rack.

Lee how many passengers have we on board, I'm getting a tad worried this shit heap plane won;t stay in the air 

*Shows Oggbad to business class* Welcome aboard Oggbad,we appreciate your contribution to Feck Orf Airlines.

*bounces around in the cockpit*   Are we there yet?   

I agree, here's you're complimentary salted nuts Oggbad  

we due to land sometime Saturday morning Tiddly, I hope you're not on the Captains knee  He's 87 and not up to much jiggling, can you check he's still alive while you're up there 

Oh dear gawd woman dear calm down,we're still on the runway ,we shall be transferring to another aircraft,Barbie Boy Mad monk and a few willing attendants shall remain on this shit heap  
aircraft.

feck are we, why's Tiddly bouncing in the cockpit and my face lift hasn't  turned out to good either I went to the loo and thought I had G-force 

Poor Tidds thinks if she bounces hard enough the aircraft will go through the ground and we'll get him back to Oz quicker,say nothing it amuses her....As for your facelift worry not,I liberated all this £100 face creams,use it sparingly mind,you don't want to end up with a frozen gob like him.

Ok I'll just leave Tidds bouncing with our 87 year old Captain, but we're knackered if she kills him   Cheers for the face cream Lee, I'll try it but I think I'm gonna have to sue, I've just found one of me ears on the back of me neck

He's not 87 Dame,the man spent an hour in Barbie Boys company he aged 30 years.*Fixes Dame's ear* be careful how you apply it fgs,look how his eyes are frozen lids ,he's to move the eyes in their sockets ,same as neck.

the guy I saw climbing into the Captains chair was 87, we have a stowaway, he should be in the wheel arch 
Thanks for fixing my ear, I'm applying the cream and heading off to the comfiest hammock in the cargo area, I'll take the drinks trolley with me for safe keeping hic....
 
nite nite Lee  

Goodnight Dame and Lee I look forward to take off     

Goodnight ladies,sleep well and don't worry HE'S restrained and secure.

So is the pilot        Night folks and folkers    

Morning holidaymakers and twat Parton  

We'll try not to disturb you, but we've had to get a cleaning crew in to sort out the pile of hair gel that accumulated behind Mr Parton's seat. We are also trying to remove the head rest from the back of Mr Partons head, which seems to be melded into his thicket. I have to go out this morning to the duty free department to stock up on the drinks trolley, I seem to be running out of spirits  Sorry for the inconvenience normal service will resume shortly, or until Lee makes it to work

 

Good afternoon Feckers, sorry for the delay getting here but seemingly word is out we're holding Barbie Boy hostage    Parton is on board as a result there are hordes of tweenies are outside...I have a solution .*Puts blonde curly wig ,bolt on's and frilly dress on Barbie Boy* ,sorted.

Sorry Feckers, we might have to reschedule, the plane might be taking off a little early. I'm just going to have a quick hoover round before we prepare for take off.




this bloody hoover behaving oddly, this may take a while 

Loving your henry

 Lovin' it  Dame Ann

Dame Ann..Henry is mint, I'm luvin it (said in Corin stylee voice, cause I knows you lubs her she's putting up with too much at the minute.

 I'm finally finished,have a look Barbie Boy and Mad Monk Dave's make-overs are complete.

The jolly friar's boobs could do with a bit more enhancement  

That is Mr Parton Tidd,s,sorry those bolt on's will have to do,have you any idea how traumatic it is being close to him ?

Sorry I had to go and lie down, the dust that come out of Henry made me come over all dizzy, but I'm in a extremely good mood 

Lee Barbie Boy and Friar Feck look great together 

I know FF and worst of all on DS some are saying she's playing the victim card 

Grab a seat Dame,entertainment is about to begin.

*takes intercom* Feckers Feck Orf Airlines would like to introduce Barbie boy Parton and Mad Monk Rodgers.

Oh before we start Mr Parton's trying to get your attention, he seems to be having some difficulty with his face cream Lee 

pst I know it's sad, but I rather enjoyed that 

Attention all Feckers, we do apologize for the lapse in security, apparently someone allowed Mr Parton to attire himself in his Beckham. outfit whilst some late passengers were boarding. We can only off our sincere apologies to Miss Corin Forshaws  father, and we have pacified given him some complimentary salted nuts and some out of date cans of Stella. 

 

 Luvin it

Good,it's about time we enjoyed something given HE ruined BB for us.

Hahahahahahahahaha,Brilliant!

Attention all Feckers, we seemed to have had a slight technical hitch Mr Parton's not ready to leave yet . we just have to do some running repairs. It shouldn't take very long, just some minor things to sort out, thank you for your patience. 


 

Meantime we're preparing to go in with this.

Feck I need a smaller drinks trolley