Oh didn't you hear Baz? Anyone over the age of 30 isn't allowed to have a drink!..... or ANY fun at all for that matter

Said who?...Whoever did can kiss my Irish butt if they want.

But why does she have to be 'totally pissed' or worse for it to be seen as a problem?

Night Tori.

.... and Denise has been tasked with making sure this is the case for Michael. 

Every time? I don't think many, or any, of us have.

That's me out then 

Mr Sting is Lerkal too!

that'll be all that tantric stuff that's done it to him...

And what about the Ferry man? 

PMSL Kaffy! 

Ahem! Way eye. Wor Brian is aboot as Jawdee as it gets.

I think so. Something to do with Loose Women,

Should we ask? Or is it better we don't know.

As Brian himself might say....,, Aw went to Blaydon Races, 'twas on the ninth of Joon, Eiteen hundred an' sixty-two, on a summer's efternoon; Aw tyuk the 'bus frae Balmbra's, an' she wis heavy laden, Away we went alang Collingwood Street, that's on the road to Blaydon. (chorus) Ah me lads, ye shud only seen us gannin', We pass'd the foaks upon the road just as they wor stannin'; Thor wes lots o' lads an' lasses there, all wi' smiling faces, Gawn alang the Scotswood Road, to see the Blaydon Races. We flew past Airmstrang's factory, and up to the "Robin Adair", Just gannin' doon te the railway bridge, the 'bus wheel flew off there. The lasses lost their crinolines off, an' the veils that hide their faces, An' aw got two black eyes an' a broken nose in gan te Blaydon Races. (chorus) When we gat the wheel put on away we went agyen, But them that had their noses broke they cam back ower hyem; Sum went to the Dispensary an' uthers to Doctor Gibbs, An' sum sought out the Infirmary to mend their broken ribs. (chorus) Noo when we gat to Paradise thor wes bonny gam begun; Thor was fower-an-twenty on the 'bus, man, hoo they danced an' sung; They called on me to sing a sang, aw sung them "Paddy Fagan", Aw danced a jig an' swung my twig that day aw went to Blaydon. (chorus) We flew across the Chain Bridge reet into Blaydon toon, The bellman he was callin' there, they call him Jackie Broon; Aw saw him talkin' to sum cheps, an' them he was pursuadin' To gan an' see Geordy Ridley's concert in the Mechanics' Hall at Blaydon. (chorus) The rain it poor'd aw the day an' myed the groons quite muddy, Coffy Johnny had a white hat on - they war shootin' "Whe stole the cuddy." There wes spice stalls an' munkey shows an' aud wives selling ciders, An' a chep wiv a hapenny roond aboot, shootin' "Noo, me lads, for riders."

Well i've started one! couldnt see one and it seemed a few peeps wanted (me incl)

Exackerly! 

Is that supposed to bamboozle us Joe. Or is it just too close to broad Scots to fool me?

 I read an interview with Trudy Styler, recently. Sting made one joke, twenty years ago, about tantric sex, and that's all she gets asked about ever since!  

LOL Joe! How many get that?   

I know what he's talking about 

If one person gets it then my work is done. Apart from the song us top righters remain proud of our tantric sex invention too.

Seemed quite straight forward to me.

OR:- I ken whit he's jabberin' oan aboot!

Course! a knaaaa man!  Me and thee 

Aye. We're in cahoots!

That's cos you're all too pissed to finish it off! 

 

FRAGILE Denise Welch’s oddball behaviour last night sparked fresh fears she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Denise, 53, suffered another meltdown yesterday after a row with  Hollywood actor Michael Madsen, 54.

 

And in the latest task, due to be screened tonight, Denise flashed her boobs at a man she had never met before.

 

Show insiders fear she will have to be removed from the house before Friday’s  final.

 

One source said: “To say Denise is struggling would be an understatement. She’s in tears every night – it only takes something small to set her off. Michael only has to comment and she flips. The other housemates don’t know what to do.”

 

In a row early yesterday, Michael told Denise: “If you slept on your side you wouldn’t snore. You do snore extremely loudly.”

 

Later, Denise was still crying hysterically in the garden and ranted about axed house- mates Natalie Cassidy and Kirk Norcross.

 

She said: “I don’t understand it. How can Natalie and Kirk not be here and Michael is? How can the British public have possibly have voted for him, it’s so unfair.”

 

Nicola McLean, 30, was forced to step in last week after Denise frolicked topless in the hot tub with Frankie Cocozza, 19.

 

And despite later insisting she regretted her X-rated behaviour, Denise flashed again  during yesterday’s task.

 

Denise, Frankie, Nicola and Michael had to try to convince other housemates that Celebrity Big Brother had proved a big hit in Japan, making them all stars over there.

 

A CBB insider said: “It didn’t take long for Denise to whip up her top. But this time it was to an actor brought in as part of a fake Japanese chat show task.”

 

Denise’s pals feared she would struggle to cope on the hit Channel 5 show because she has a history of mental illness and drinking problems.

 

And her daily rows with Michael have left them nervous she will need professional help when she leaves the house.

 

One admitted: “Denise has had depression in the past and everyone is worried a  pressurised environment like Big Brother could cause her serious problems.

 

“It’s obvious every day is a struggle for her. It’s touch and go if she’ll make it to the end of the week.”

 

Rugby star Gareth Thomas last night  remained favourite to win with Frankie second favourite at 10/3.

 

Nicola and Denise are outsiders, according to bookies and look set for the chop in Wednesday’s double eviction.

 

Sorry erinp, but that just sounds like more Tabloid bollocks, to me.

 

She likes to lift her top and flash her boobs. It's one of her hobbies/habits. Again, nobody dies. 

Denise nominated Michael the very first week.

Her reason?

"Because he has not asked any questions about ME!" Because to Denise, everything is about her.

She then went all out to friend him - I think because she wanted to be able to boast that she had a friend in Hollywood. When it didn't happen, when he made it quite clear that he was not interested, she turned bunny boiler and would not leave him alone.

Re the topless thing - well she flashed an 19 year old lad, knowing that the chances are her "vulnerable" 10 year old son would hear about it - again under the influence of drink.

I don't like her - she is not as famous as she thinks she is and IMO she brings nothing to the house but moaning and drama.

 

Incidentally - where was her husband on eviction night? Why was he not there to potentially support her?

Her husband, family and friends did not want her to go in and all of them warned her not to drink or get her tits out.

The bloke asked her about flashing, so she did it again and everyone found it funny AND she wasn't drunk 

But you are saying that as if it was normal and acceptable behaviour! You know full well it is not.

Still doesn't make it generally acceptable bahaviour.

Did they find it funny? Or did they titter politely in embarrassment?

 

Asking about ones proclivity for flashing does not mean that you actually want to see it!

Normal and acceptable behaviour within the BB House possibly? Not so much in Morrisons.