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Tootall

Most people who have seen a few of my posts in the past know I do dialysis. I have commented on this quite often before (especially on the Old CH4 BB Forum), about my worrys, agreivements, problems etc. I have also done this on FaceBook too. Ive never mentioned names of nurses before. I just talk about what they have done or haven't, right or wrong and whether I feel they are competant or not, whether i feel safe enough to go to sleep or not depending which nurse is in my bay.
My problem is this, I have a few of my nurses listed as friends on my facebook. In February a nurse said I could add him whiuch i did. I only posted a couple of times, congratulating him on his new daughter. I then got a inbox message from him a month later thanking me for my kind words but that he had been Ordered to delete me from his face book. I was susspicious that this order had come from one of his higher up collegues as it were. He said he'd catch up with me again on the ward sometime but are in different hospitals so hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, today I was given a quiet word by a nurse in charge today that there has been a nurse complaining about my comments about her. I said that i never mention names, but was told this nurse had recognised the description (must be in behavior, not looks) and didn't like what they had read! The nurse talking to me said he knows my humour and said this nurse might of exagerated things but he was giving me a quiet word that i had to be more careful what i wrote on there! Now the nurses i have as my friends may of recognised who i talk about by the way i say they act or what they say, but I know they themselves wouldn't of complained. So I'm guessing either my nurse friends were over heard talking to each other at work by this person or maybe they are down as friends of my nurse friends on face book.
So (if anyones still with me through this long post) is, if i mention no names, can i get into trouble with what i write, can i be sued, or picked on through high up staff (remembering i got forced to change hospitals after complaining about a nurse being incompetent before, and the other nurses agreed mind with my opinions and not that i was forced to move) can they tell me whati can and can't write on Face book or indeed another forum like this?

Thank you for reading and any posts you make

Replies sorted oldest to newest

watchinittoomuch (Guest)

Toots

I dont know the official route on this, but blimey you should be allowed to have a moan!

Hope whatever happens it works out and you dont fall out with your nurse friends x

6/4/091:29 AM

Raggy♥DollMember

I dunno about legally or owt but it's not a very nice thing to do if it will get back to them. Why not tell them you aren't happy with their work or report incompetence instead of putting it on fbook? Sorry you're unwell, but it seems a bit out of order to me.

6/4/091:31 AM

LockesMember

truthfully I would delete all your nurse friends, then you have nothing to worry about. It sounds to me like they are talking behind your back.

6/4/091:32 AM

BovrilkingMember

In a word Toots ..no

FB is open to anything that goes and anything that is written, I doubt that you would have written anything slanderous or fabricated, you write how you see it, nowt wrong with that.

Whoever this person is in question obviously didnt like the wording but it doesnt mean you have made it up...maybe them need to look at themselves first, open truth can hurt and if they think that it is being written about them without any names being mentioned, then they inside probably know it to be true about them and go defensive.

Their prob not your lad

But in future maybe dont write on their things that can be deemed sensitive to others and also maybe delete any of the nurses you have on there

6/4/091:36 AM

TiGiMember

Personally I think it's quite unprofessional of the staff to have patients on their list of friends. Asking for trouble if you ask me.

6/4/091:37 AM

LGSMember

quote:
Originally posted by TiGi:
Personally I think it's quite unprofessional of the staff to have patients on their list of friends. Asking for trouble if you ask me.

I agree with this.

and Toots, if you name no names then IMO nothing wrong with writing your feelings on FB at all.

6/4/091:38 AM

tuppsMember

Ack.. sounds a pain..

In theory you could be sued for libel if anything you'd posted was defamatory... but that would depend on what you've posted etc. In any event it probably isn't a good idea to post anything negative about the people providing the care if they are able to see it. It would be better, if you have a complaint, to go through the proper channels.

Sounds to me like what you are saying is possibly getting back to the person you've commented on or is the subject of some water cooler moments.

6/4/091:39 AM

TriggersMember

Hi Toots!

If you haven't named names I really don't see the problem. I also think it was very unfair that you had to change hospitals because you were unhappy with a mamber of staff.
I really don't know much about the workings of Facebook but I hope this all works out.

6/4/091:39 AM

CroctacusMember

The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

6/4/091:40 AM

watchinittoomuch (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

Will you come to court with me next week?

6/4/091:41 AM

CroctacusMember

quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

Will you come to court with me next week?

You'd want a sweary Mary??

6/4/091:42 AM

tuppsMember

Just because someone doesn't name names doesn't mean the person can't be identified. It sounds like they have been in this instance despite no names.

6/4/091:42 AM

Garage JoeMember

quote:
Originally posted by Lockes no 1 fan:
truthfully I would delete all your nurse friends, then you have nothing to worry about. It sounds to me like they are talking behind your back.

What? Nurses talking behind a punter's back?
Surely not!
Apologise!

6/4/091:43 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
Toots

I dont know the official route on this, but blimey you should be allowed to have a moan!

Hope whatever happens it works out and you dont fall out with your nurse friends x

Thanks watchinittoomuch, I just hate being sensored. I know I am more trouble to some nurses especially on a certain Ward as i do not just sit there and do what nurses and doctors tell me, blindly. I question them and check what they are doing and if so properly and ask them to do it properly if they don't. Most my nurses, the ones that care about their job say they would do the same and agree with me. But i have questioned how wards are run and am obviously a bit of a thorn in certain high up nurses sides.

I am thinking of whether i should delete some nurse friends just to try and cut where this complaint come from.

6/4/091:44 AM

LockesMember

I suggest you phone nursecom

6/4/091:47 AM

The Singing Ringing TreeMember

delete the nurses as friends toots. Keeping them will only make you paranoid. Once you have deleted them you can moan as much you like. If say one nurse is actually a bit of a gossip you might not know that. I would get rid of them.

6/4/091:49 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by Raggy♥Doll:
I dunno about legally or owt but it's not a very nice thing to do if it will get back to them. Why not tell them you aren't happy with their work or report incompetence instead of putting it on fbook? Sorry you're unwell, but it seems a bit out of order to me.

Hi Raggy♥Doll, I don't get whats not very nice though. I am totaly upfront with nurses, I mentioned before the last time i was polite and made complaints by a nurse in the past, a nurse may i say the other nurses new was not up to the job, so much so they agrred she needed re training and not to put people on a machine without other nurses it was decided by a boss who came in that it was best that I was moved to another hospital straight after their surprise meeting with me.
I was not allowed to say bye to my fellow patients and on the way out of the door was told by other nurses they agreed with me, thought i shouldn't have to move but couldnt say anything!
I have a feeling who this nurse is, and she only recognised her self being mentioned by her wrong attitude and could of put me in a place where i would have had my health effected in not a good way by her. Other Nurse no about he weaknesses (putting it politely).

6/4/091:53 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by Lockes no 1 fan:
truthfully I would delete all your nurse friends, then you have nothing to worry about. It sounds to me like they are talking behind your back.

I am thinking this may be what I have to do but I really get on with the ones i have Lockes no 1 fan, but i'm thinking i may have to do the two patients i have two incase they are talking about it on the ward and are getting over heard too

6/4/091:56 AM

Raggy♥DollMember

quote:
Originally posted by Tootall:
quote:
Originally posted by Raggy♥Doll:
I dunno about legally or owt but it's not a very nice thing to do if it will get back to them. Why not tell them you aren't happy with their work or report incompetence instead of putting it on fbook? Sorry you're unwell, but it seems a bit out of order to me.

Hi Raggy♥Doll, I don't get whats not very nice though. I am totaly upfront with nurses, I mentioned before the last time i was polite and made complaints by a nurse in the past, a nurse may i say the other nurses new was not up to the job, so much so they agrred she needed re training and not to put people on a machine without other nurses it was decided by a boss who came in that it was best that I was moved to another hospital straight after their surprise meeting with me.
I was not allowed to say bye to my fellow patients and on the way out of the door was told by other nurses they agreed with me, thought i shouldn't have to move but couldnt say anything!
I have a feeling who this nurse is, and she only recognised her self being mentioned by her wrong attitude and could of put me in a place where i would have had my health effected in not a good way by her. Other Nurse no about he weaknesses (putting it politely).

Are you facebook friends with the incompetent ones or only the nice ones & they have leaked it back to the ones you were posting about? I think if you are friends on there with the crappy ones I'd delete them, I never see the point of people adding 'friends' on there who they don't even like, lol. If it is just that the 'nice' ones have leaked it back to the other ones then it's more of a difficult problem because there is obviously someone there that you can't trust and you can't be sure who it is.

In my previous post I thought you meant you were talking about someone on your friends list, which I wouldn't take kindly to if I was that person & saw it on facebook, but if it is something you said about someone not on your friends list and it got back to them through gossip then I think it is their problem not yours. Sorry, hope that's clearer!

6/4/092:02 AM

Templetonpeck (Guest)

Firstly, apparently FB is quite dodgy in that respect Toots, Ive heard of people getting fired, losing out in interviews all because of something they've posted on FB.

Secondly, who is this stupid bint that is so paranoid she thinks that everything you post about is about her?

Thirdly, would I drag her out into the car park and pound her with a wispa bar? Damn right I would

Fourthly, I would go on to FB and post about this psycho on your ward who has convinced everyone to delete you from FB...we can help you compose something if you like...we helped The Secretary with her FB quandary only recently

6/4/092:06 AM

Garage JoeMember

I use Facebook for keeping in touch with people I don't meet very often.
Since anything written on t'internet is truncated and open to misinterpretation it may be better not to have any nurses or patients as FB friends and only speak to them when you see them.

6/4/092:06 AM

Former Member

Hi Toots LTNS.

As long as you haven't made it personal by mentioning any names, you can say what you like. They, on the other hand are bound by the confidentiality of Nurse/Patient ethics, and should not be discussing you or your private life, away from the workplace. The best thing to do, is to delete them form your friends list, and that way they won't be able to say anymore about it. Your health and wellbeing are the most important factor in all of this, and they as 'professionals' are behaving very badly. The nice ones have been praised, and the ones with attitude are making things worse for themselves by making all of this a big deal.

6/4/092:06 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by Bovrilking:
In a word Toots ..no

FB is open to anything that goes and anything that is written, I doubt that you would have written anything slanderous or fabricated, you write how you see it, nowt wrong with that.

Whoever this person is in question obviously didnt like the wording but it doesnt mean you have made it up...maybe them need to look at themselves first, open truth can hurt and if they think that it is being written about them without any names being mentioned, then they inside probably know it to be true about them and go defensive.

Their prob not your lad

But in future maybe dont write on their things that can be deemed sensitive to others and also maybe delete any of the nurses you have on there

Thanks Bov, I have only written about my experiences and treatment, my nurses i have on there have never disagreed with what i have wrote on there. One of my nurses i have is in my bay today and i spoke to her about it. I mentioned that i had only posted anything contravertial a few weeks ago so its strange it came up now. I mentioned what i had wrote and she had no problem with it also she recognised who it was by what i wrote. What i did write was this particular nurse always replys "I know" even when she doesnt. If a patient or nurse trys giving her help its i know! If its pointed out shes done something is wrong its "I know". This particular day my machine was alarming all the time. My blood flow was turned down to 150ml/min. This meant i was in danger of loosing a lot of blood. Her answer was to get a seat to sit next to the machine to keep silencing the alarm instead of fixing the problem. It was only when a nurse came in hearing the alarm noticing the speed said i had to come off or i'd lose the circuit of blood. "the nurses reply was i know!" Which she didn't and i said to her no you didn't you were quite happy letting it go on by sitting silencing it. she shut up. I was straight to her and not behind my back. Perhaps i get passionate as this is keeping us alive and its my life so want it done properly.
I think i may have to erase people.

6/4/092:08 AM

Templetonpeck (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by Tootall:
Thanks Bov, I have only written about my experiences and treatment, my nurses i have on there have never disagreed with what i have wrote on there. One of my nurses i have is in my bay today and i spoke to her about it. I mentioned that i had only posted anything contravertial a few weeks ago so its strange it came up now. I mentioned what i had wrote and she had no problem with it also she recognised who it was by what i wrote. What i did write was this particular nurse always replys "I know" even when she doesnt. If a patient or nurse trys giving her help its i know! If its pointed out shes done something is wrong its "I know". This particular day my machine was alarming all the time. My blood flow was turned down to 150ml/min. This meant i was in danger of loosing a lot of blood. Her answer was to get a seat to sit next to the machine to keep silencing the alarm instead of fixing the problem. It was only when a nurse came in hearing the alarm noticing the speed said i had to come off or i'd lose the circuit of blood. "the nurses reply was i know!" Which she didn't and i said to her no you didn't you were quite happy letting it go on by sitting silencing it. she shut up. I was straight to her and not behind my back. Perhaps i get passionate as this is keeping us alive and its my life so want it done properly.
I think i may have to erase people.

I'm packing up the truck with wispa bars as I type toots

I've armed Finn with his hardest rattle so he can get a few knocks in too

6/4/092:12 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by TiGi:
Personally I think it's quite unprofessional of the staff to have patients on their list of friends. Asking for trouble if you ask me.

Tigi because my treatment keeps me alive and its three times a week we are bound to develop relationships and some nurses we consider friends. Ive been doing this this time around for eight years so we talk about most things that go on in our lives and know a bit about eachother. Spending so much time lines get blurred

6/4/092:12 AM

tuppsMember

Toots.. from what you've said in your last post it sounds to me like you need to speak to her 'superiors' rather than post about it on FB. Like you say.. this your health and this is keeping you alive.

6/4/092:14 AM

watchinittoomuch (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

Will you come to court with me next week?

You'd want a sweary Mary??

Ooh no I can do that meself...I just like the no nonsense style

6/4/092:14 AM

BovrilkingMember

quote:
I'm packing up the truck with wispa bars as I type toots I've armed Finn with his hardest rattle so he can get a few knocks in too

Load up on used nappies as well lass for ammo

6/4/092:16 AM

The Devil In DiamanteMember

Toots, I'd delete all your Nurse Friends and close your profile so only friends can see it, alternatively, you can create a group and put into the group people you don't want to read your wall posts/ status updates etc.......that way, you can keep them as Friends but stop the Professionals reading everything....

...if you need any help I'll try my best to show you how? xxx

6/4/092:17 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by love greek sunsets:
quote:
Originally posted by TiGi:
Personally I think it's quite unprofessional of the staff to have patients on their list of friends. Asking for trouble if you ask me.

I agree with this.

and Toots, if you name no names then IMO nothing wrong with writing your feelings on FB at all.

Thanks for your reply love greek sunsets, i added them initially because i got on well with them and had a laugh, interested how they were and them me I guess, but I am starting to think i may be best deleting them. And yes i do not mention names on there just like i don't here either.

6/4/092:17 AM

Raggy♥DollMember

Yeah I agree with tupps, that sort of mistake is serious not just that the woman's personality annoys you, her laziness or lack of knowledge has put you and possibly others at risk. It's the nature of facebook to trivialise these things and make it look like bitching rather than valid complaints. I read somewhere that some study has shown sites like that and twitter have meant we don't empathise with people any more because we're battered with info. Sounds like bollix like

6/4/092:18 AM

CroctacusMember

quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

Will you come to court with me next week?

You'd want a sweary Mary??

Ooh no I can do that meself...I just like the no nonsense style

Its my blokey side coming out!

6/4/092:19 AM

Raggy♥DollMember

quote:
Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
Toots, I'd delete all your Nurse Friends and close your profile so only friends can see it, alternatively, you can create a group and put into the group people you don't want to read your wall posts/ status updates etc.......that way, you can keep them as Friends but stop the Professionals reading everything....

...if you need any help I'll try my best to show you how? xxx

This is a good idea

6/4/092:19 AM

watchinittoomuch (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
quote:
Originally posted by watchinittoomuch:
quote:
Originally posted by FGG Aka Crocodile Rock:
The fact that someone recognised themselves from your not so flattering (i'm assuming) comment must mean what you wrote was true.

And no, they have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do...no names were used and as someone else said, you have as much right to a whinge and moan as the next person...

Carry on and bollox to them!

Will you come to court with me next week?

You'd want a sweary Mary??

Ooh no I can do that meself...I just like the no nonsense style

Its my blokey side coming out!

Careful, I'll need those towels again....

(Sorry Toots

)

6/4/092:19 AM

The Devil In DiamanteMember

quote:
Originally posted by Raggy♥Doll:
quote:
Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
Toots, I'd delete all your Nurse Friends and close your profile so only friends can see it, alternatively, you can create a group and put into the group people you don't want to read your wall posts/ status updates etc.......that way, you can keep them as Friends but stop the Professionals reading everything....

...if you need any help I'll try my best to show you how? xxx

This is a good idea

I do it with my Boss so she doesn't know how much time I spend on there while I should be working!

6/4/092:22 AM

Templetonpeck (Guest)

quote:
Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
Toots, I'd delete all your Nurse Friends and close your profile so only friends can see it, alternatively, you can create a group and put into the group people you don't want to read your wall posts/ status updates etc.......that way, you can keep them as Friends but stop the Professionals reading everything....

...if you need any help I'll try my best to show you how? xxx

Just when it seems she was being nice, there's Devil in the last line with the come on

6/4/092:23 AM

The Devil In DiamanteMember

quote:
Originally posted by Templetonpeck:
quote:
Originally posted by The Devil In Diamante:
Toots, I'd delete all your Nurse Friends and close your profile so only friends can see it, alternatively, you can create a group and put into the group people you don't want to read your wall posts/ status updates etc.......that way, you can keep them as Friends but stop the Professionals reading everything....

...if you need any help I'll try my best to show you how? xxx

Just when it seems she was being nice, there's Devil in the last line with the come on

it's you with your mucky mind Temps!

You ok? How's Finn?

6/4/092:25 AM

HyacinthBMember

quote:
Originally posted by TiGi:
Personally I think it's quite unprofessional of the staff to have patients on their list of friends. Asking for trouble if you ask me.

Toots - I agree with TiGs on this.

Your association with any of the nurses should remain solely in an official capacity and not as friends. They are not your friends, they are health professionals and there to administer to your needs.

They should certainly not have agreed to be added to your Facebook page and this would certainly be frowned upon by their Matron/Manager. It is a situation which could easily lead to a conflict of interests.

They are not personal friends who happen to work in nursing - they are nursing staff you met whilst undergoing dialysis.

You have to look at it in the long term.

6/4/092:28 AM

TootallMember

quote:
Originally posted by tupps:
Ack.. sounds a pain..

In theory you could be sued for libel if anything you'd posted was defamatory... but that would depend on what you've posted etc. In any event it probably isn't a good idea to post anything negative about the people providing the care if they are able to see it. It would be better, if you have a complaint, to go through the proper channels.

Sounds to me like what you are saying is possibly getting back to the person you've commented on or is the subject of some water cooler moments.

Hi Tupps, like ive repied later on i have tried the proper channels before, one involving me being swept under the carpet instead of trying to fix the problem. Its hard making official complaints too as these are people who i see every other day. Intodays age they are to scared of getting sued, so instead of admitting not knowing something or admitting to do something wrong they don't, so instead of fixing the problem they don't and the mistakes happen over and over again. I have to say not all nurses are like this but they are extremly hesitant to tell a collegue they are doing something wrong, just make sure they them selves are doing it right. I am not looking to sue people either or i could of done it the night i was given 16 sleeping tablets one night instead of the ONE i was prescribed! I appreciate the job they do also as i wouldnt be alive now with out them.
Rightly or wrongly i have people on here i consider friends so like to sound off to them about my experiances and get advice. Also to let others know what does go on that is tried to be hidden

6/4/092:31 AM

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