I was wondering why Marcus was in gaol last night so went looking on C4 and now wish I hadn't 
He's a mucky bugger that bloke... some things just need to be kept private
Crossing the boundaries of taste and decency have never worried Big Brother's self-styled Irrepressible Dark Horse, Marcus. And today, he plumbed new depths.
While nominations rolled on, Marcus thought he'd share some private information about 'Marcus time' with Halfwit and Bea. Information we're sure they could have done without knowing.
As Halfwit looked on, Marcus sat on the step in the Garden, giving his bicep a workout on the dumbbell, his other arm placed manfully on his knee. They talked about nominations. Nothing unusual there, you might think. But wait...
"I'm going to do my nominations, then channel some sexual energy," announced Marcus.
Halfwit giggled. Readers of a sensitive disposition, look away now.
"Do you think my way is heroic?" Marcus asked Bea as she joined them in the Garden. "My way. Is it heroic?"
"No," she replied. We think by the word 'way' he was referring to some sort of method for creating a 'blind spot' in order to have some privacy.
"I will show you. I'll show you that my way is heroic. Come on, let's get the duvet and I'll show you."
Bea and Halfwith followed Marcus.
"You're not actually going to..?" said Halfwit, worried.
"I might," said Marcus. The threesome walked through the Lounge and into the Toilet.
"I've got a very attractive penis, thank you for asking," said Marcus. Er, he didn't ask, Marcus. No-one asked.
"Right you take that off," said Marcus, grappling with the mirror in the Toilet, unable to take it off the wall. "Denied!"
"Beautifully ironic and weird," laughed Halfwit.
"You can't stop the champ!" said Marcus. "I'm a force of nature. You can't stop a force of nature."
Just then Big Brother reminded Marcus not to tamper with the fixtures and fittings. So instead he covered himself with a duvet and started gesturing, narrating as he went.
"You've got your tissues there. And then you just work away," he instructed. Work away? At what Marcus, at what?!
It wasn't long before Big Brother called Marcus into the Diary Room and punished him for tampering. With fixtures and fittings, that is, not himself.
"You are bad man," Halfwit told him, as Marcus skulked grumpily to the jail in the Garden. "You can go to prison and reflect."
"They can't stop me. The very nature of the Irrepressible Dark Horse just is... irrepressible," confirmed Marcus.
Let's hope he uses his private time wisely. With nothing too private, that is.
He's a mucky bugger that bloke... some things just need to be kept private
Crossing the boundaries of taste and decency have never worried Big Brother's self-styled Irrepressible Dark Horse, Marcus. And today, he plumbed new depths.
While nominations rolled on, Marcus thought he'd share some private information about 'Marcus time' with Halfwit and Bea. Information we're sure they could have done without knowing.
As Halfwit looked on, Marcus sat on the step in the Garden, giving his bicep a workout on the dumbbell, his other arm placed manfully on his knee. They talked about nominations. Nothing unusual there, you might think. But wait...
"I'm going to do my nominations, then channel some sexual energy," announced Marcus.
Halfwit giggled. Readers of a sensitive disposition, look away now.
"Do you think my way is heroic?" Marcus asked Bea as she joined them in the Garden. "My way. Is it heroic?"
"No," she replied. We think by the word 'way' he was referring to some sort of method for creating a 'blind spot' in order to have some privacy.
"I will show you. I'll show you that my way is heroic. Come on, let's get the duvet and I'll show you."
Bea and Halfwith followed Marcus.
"You're not actually going to..?" said Halfwit, worried.
"I might," said Marcus. The threesome walked through the Lounge and into the Toilet.
"I've got a very attractive penis, thank you for asking," said Marcus. Er, he didn't ask, Marcus. No-one asked.
"Right you take that off," said Marcus, grappling with the mirror in the Toilet, unable to take it off the wall. "Denied!"
"Beautifully ironic and weird," laughed Halfwit.
"You can't stop the champ!" said Marcus. "I'm a force of nature. You can't stop a force of nature."
Just then Big Brother reminded Marcus not to tamper with the fixtures and fittings. So instead he covered himself with a duvet and started gesturing, narrating as he went.
"You've got your tissues there. And then you just work away," he instructed. Work away? At what Marcus, at what?!
It wasn't long before Big Brother called Marcus into the Diary Room and punished him for tampering. With fixtures and fittings, that is, not himself.
"You are bad man," Halfwit told him, as Marcus skulked grumpily to the jail in the Garden. "You can go to prison and reflect."
"They can't stop me. The very nature of the Irrepressible Dark Horse just is... irrepressible," confirmed Marcus.
Let's hope he uses his private time wisely. With nothing too private, that is.
'
