I feel your pain Lainy. I am at the minute too 

Hi Lainy Sorry you have been having a rough time  I'm pleased to say that  I've never been bullied at work.....

I hate bullying in any shape or form. I was badly bullied at school. Some have tried it at work, but i wont let it happen. I feel for you x

It's crap innit?

 

 

I snitched on the turds......Im off work recovering now. I have never been off sick in 10 bloody years

 

Have you told on your bully sprouty?

I've been through it once Skylark and I'm doing my darndest to make sure it doesn't happen again 

yay Bazzer Bit nippy in the home town eh

I've mentioned to a good few of my workmates that he wants me out and they agree (by stuff that's gone on) I've got a meeting at the CAB on Wednesday and could possibly take it further to ACAS. Hope it works out for you Lainy  

Good for you, dont let them win xxxxx

 

 

It's not happened to me Lainy, but I have seen it in the workplace and actually backed up the person who was being bullied. I hope your situation improves as hers did 

Hope it all works out for you, i have never been bullied at work, but going by what i have heard from Sprooot, its a very bad experience.

 

Everyone listened when I mentioned the union

Stand your ground Lainy, dont let them grind you down x

Tis a bit Lainy And it was a bit wet at the weekend, wasn't it? Do you know what they are doing to the square outside M & S?

IM WATCHING GLEE ON E4 FOLKS.......BACK SOON XX

I'm not in a union.....there has been mentions of bringing one in but that's as far as it's gotten 

Ohhhhh sprooooty one - is there some Admin union you could threaten to join though ... that'd make them sit up

 

Last one I heard of was SOGAT 82 ... I'm guessing that has disbanded now

LOL, I don't know Rexi.  I'll see what the CAB man says on Wednesday 

I was bullied at work...   its subtle, it makes you question yourself, it strips you of your belief in yourself, it can completely break you!

 

Apparently, I am the last person people would think would be able to be bullied - a lot of help that was at the time...   it just made it easier for those around at the time to turn a blind eye.

 

Its sucks!   and my best advice would be to get the hell out before it breaks you completely!  No job is worth it!   And its not always possible to fight it.

 

 

its taken me 7 years to return to work...    7 YEARS!!! 

Signing out now, but feel for you both. Bully,s never work alone, but unfortunately the person who is the victim usually is. Use everything in your power to stop it, particularly in the workplace. If not some kind of union some other agency. Good luck xxx

Yes, I can identify with that Ditty. It's like.........30 years in an office and I can't do my job properly and yet I could run rings round him if he'd let me 

 

Oh, and I'm actively seeking a new job. The quicker I'm out of there the better 

 

Well done you though 

You are sooooooo right. I bet you are dead pretty and that is why they bullied you

 

(INSERT SWEARWORD)

 

 

 

My guilt was being cleverer than them yet junior to them.....In other words I knew too much

I know 2 people who have gone through this.

 

You can join an independent union (not tied to your company) who will offer advice and will attend meetings/hearings with you as witnesses, might be worth asking the CAB about it as I know it helped someone I used to work with a few years back when she was going through similar stuff. (Can't remember what the cost was, but it was monthly and wasn't that much at all).

 

The only downside with being a member of an independent union is that employers (if you leave your job and look for another) - are not overly keen on taking on members because of the legal protection and advice you have that's not company related (if you get what I mean).

 

There are no excuses for bullying in the work place and nobody should have to be expected to tolerate it. If you go it 'alone', you may find your HR department trying to find all sorts of twists and turns to make you cancel your complaint. Also if other colleagues have offered to stick up for you, be prepared for them to suddenly have a change of heart due to the fear of losing their jobs. You've probably done this already but it's imperative that everything is documented, times, dates, etc. Anything negative said to you (no matter how menial it may sound to someone else) has to be noted as it will help to build a case history and show a pattern of behaviour. The amount of time you've been in employ can matter, too. The general '2 year rule' does hold its water I'm afraid, although you do still have some rights for anything past 12 months.

The whole process is not the easiest thing to go through, especially if you're taking the company on as opposed to an individual within the company (for example, if you fear they are trying to shove you out the door and using intimidation tactics to do so) but you have every right to stand your ground and not be treated like shit.

 

Actually...    that was pretty much it in my situation too.    In the end I found out that she didn't actually want to give me the job...   I was better qualified than she was, and I could see right through her bullshit.   But when I started I was prepared to be absolutely 100% loyal to her... 

 

she eroded my self confidence...  she gave unachievable project areas...  she belittled me in front of whole departments etc etc etc (the list goes on & on)...      but it was when I realised she was wrong about the little things...   something to do with a printer, something to do with a poxy stapler...   that I realised I was right about the bigger stuff as well.     It wasn't me!  

 

Didn't make any difference really...   the damage had been done...   

 

I do know it was her problem and not mine...     but by then she had already stressed me to the point of breaking.

 

It's actually been said in front of me but supposed to be a joke (I'm a receptionist) and was off sick for a while with stress. The girl that covered for me - from a different office - they had a collection for her and the turd handed it over and said................you've done such a good job I wish I could keep you on and sack the others. He knew what he'd said though and tried to weedle his way out of it  

I went to a solicitor at one point...    and I had a rock solid case  (at one point my boss had me up against a wall with her finger rammed in my face...  enough to mark my face)...  

 

but..   you can win your case...  but it doesn't take away what has happened...   it also doesn't put your career back on track.

 

As I said...   benefit of hindsight...  I wish I had just got the hell out of the job, a lot sooner than I did

1. Join a union. 2. Keep a detailed diary. 3. If you can, keep a brave face, carry on as normal, try to ignore them, laugh if you can as though they are joking. Bullies are cowards normally! If the sick bastards think they aren't having an effect then they'll go elsewhere. 4. Don't expect colleagues to back you up. 5. Be confident in yourself, you are a fabulous person.

That's horrid Ditty - awful situation

Gosh...I feel for anyone who is being or has been bullied....it's horrible.....

 

I was bullied at School, not physically but words....don't get me wrong, I wasn't a shrinking violet but I get taunted over being flat chested (I was a late developer)....I know it sounds daft and like it was  nothing but it really did knock my confidence. i'm sure the people who used to laugh at me and poke fun really didn't know how much it affected me, but it did, and I'm sure that some of you on here know that I suffered through my teens and early twenties with an eating disorder....I know that the taunts at School triggered my self loathing....

 

I hate bullies, they really don't think to what effect they can have on a person, especially mentally....they can knock your confidence so much, what for? To make themselves feel better.....pah to them!

I see what you're saying Karma. I've only been there just over a year though.....was a TUPE contract, and at the minute things between boss and HR and me are being twisted. Like I say, I've got a meeting at the CAB with an employment expert on Wednesday afternoon and will see what they say 

Oh wow! People like this don't deserve to breathe the same air as us 

Sorry Sprooooooooooooot I missed this bit earlier..  

 

 

good!!!   you get yourself the hell out of there girl...    

Bullying in the workplace is rife.  I was in my last job, constructively dismissed too in a contrived redundancy process.  Last year I weighed up suing the arseholes but felt it might harm my attempts to get back into work.  Bad move!  I totally regret it now. I'm sure I'd have won.  I took redundancy because I felt that even if I won my case I didn't really want to be working in the same team again. 

 

I did approach management about the department head's bullying techniques as part of the redundancy process but they just closed ranks and their attitude was "he's not with the company now and why didn't you come to us sooner?" which, I later found out was a blatant lie, as several people (men and women) had previously complained to HR, only for HR to just sit on the complaints and just go off the opinions of management yes men.

 

I'd advise anyone thinking of complaining about workplace bullying to record instances, emails, comments.  Also be aware that management often closes ranks and they may try to isolate you.  The point is, are you worth more to the company than the bully?  If you're not, you should expect management to try to crucify you by turning a blind eye and allowing the bully to escalate their behaviour, they will also seek to isolate you from the support of colleagues. 

 

They have to be seen to be handling an accusation correctly and will ask people to come forward with complaints - whilst inferring that those who do, will be pissing them off and may not get, say, a bonus or promotion.

 

 

That's another classic issue that goes on. Because when redundancies come along, middle-management are usually the first on the chopping block, a lot of them tend try to 'prove their worth' by treating their staff or team like shit just to prove how invaluable they are. If it ends in someone leaving because of it then that alleviates the pressure of reducing overheads by at least one salary so has the potential to put mid-management bully in a stronger position to keep their job.

 

Another reason is if the manager is on some kind of trial or KPI period or disciplinary process, they cack themselves if there is someone in their team who is just as, if not more than, qualified to do their job, so you find that suddenly they'll start behaving differently towards you to try and diminish the threat of you stealing their job (even if it had never even entered your head about wanting their job).

 

Right I'm banging now and I need to be doing other stuff so I'm gonna (try to) shut up

You're right Joe.                     I keep hearing people say they'll back me up, but then I think hmmm if push comes to shove, would you really? 

I still fantasize about her not breathing any air at all 

no...  they won't!!!

 

 

I totally understand.....(I deleted some of your post, to highlight the words that I could have typed myself about my stress experience) xx

Yep. Our place down to a tee.   I'm not bothered about a bonus or promotion but sometime you get the feeling that HR are on just one side..........and it ain't yours