Good manners cost nothing and are beyond worth.  A genuine compliment can light up someone's day, small acts of kndness can lift the spirits of both the giver and receiver - as my mum says "It's nice to be nice" ....

 

PC has its place but it's important to keep a sense of perspective and a lot of this stuff is deliberately disingenuous to provoke a reaction *shrugs* I like people being nice to me - it makes me feel good - and I've never even learned how to spell substerviant.  Bring back chivalry I say! 

This is a perfect example of you wimmin  not knowing wot you want

 

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BLOODY VOTE - ha ha ha!!

 

 

P.S. all we want is our dinner on the table

 

 

 

*sits back - lights cigar - waits for attack*

Bloody feminists!

 

If I want to open a door for a lady or lie down in a puddle so she can use me as a footbridge then I bloody well will!

 

And no amount of Spice Girl related Girl Power will stop me!!!!!! 

I love you, Rawky!

A bit of common decency, whether it be a man holding a door for a woman, or a woman holding a door for a man is the least you should offer.  I hate rudeness and bad manners, and I hate when you go to the bother of holding a door open, and the other person doesn't bother saying thank you

*shakes Rawky's hand*

 

Stand proud men and say the meal she cooks you is gorgeous - even though she should have gone to Iceland

Naughty, Renton

it is not chivalry, it is politeness/kindness/consideration, so please keep opening doors ect (and i will continue to do the same also)   it is obviously  a quiet day at the feminist organisation

Ian Collins said on that radio last night that if any woman queries him holding a door open he'll her he's not doing it because she is a lady but because he is a gentleman.

I feel there should be common sense in everything

I DO miss some tradtional values

I DON'T miss old sexist values

 

But i see so many women that can't cook anything - and have never ironed when men have been criticised for these things for years.

Perhaps the focus of "rights" has been lost.

I often wonder WHY all the darts players on TV are men - and why there is no mixed sex snooker.

Why are women MP's so hugely out numbered by men even today?

Surely this should be the focus of our energy . .  a woman's place in our society and not door opening.

 

Blimey  - i got serious just then !!!

 

 

liking this ^^^

 

am all for manners from both sexes. . it's got nowt to do with rights just common courtesy

Having said that . . . .

 

I DO get the feeling that women prefer men who are capable and protective.

I DO get the feeling that men like to be looked after.

 

Do you lot get that feeling too?

Huh?   I don't think the main focus of those fighting for female rights is door opening

Excellent  

there is a quote from oscar wilde who, when opening a door for a lady is rebuked and he replies he is not opening the door because she is a lady but because he is a gentleman

I always say 'you're welcome you're Royal Highness' and hope they sense the tone

TEMPS you stupid bloody woman - heh heh!!

I was just responding to the article from the OP

I was brought up to have good manners and have brought up my kids, both boys and girls, to do the same. I don't check out the sex of the person I'm holding the door open for. If a man held the door open for me and said, "Ladies first", it might make me grind my teeth a little, but it's better than, "Shit before the shovel"!

 

I think the real problem comes with casually sexist attitudes, when both sexes assume that something is a 'man's job', or a 'woman's job'. We certainly mix it up a bit, in our household, so our kids may feel that shopping is a man's job, and most of the cooking, but putting the bins out is mummy's job!

 

I like this too - more manners all round

I like being looked after and knowing that my man would protect me if needs be BUT he also knows that I look after him in other ways.  I rarely cook for him (doesn't like most of the things I cook.....the swine!) and he does all his own washing and ironing (I can't remember the last time I ironed something) but he never has to worry about household things, kids things or bills because I look after all that.  So we probably DO live quite an old fashioned lifestyle...me at home doing all the house stuff and him at work.  Although I do all the decorating and he does quite a bit of cleaning   Happy enough with that!

 

But back to the main topic......I think it costs nothing for a person to hold a door open or help something with heavy bags wether they're male, female, old or young. 

Yep, there's an old saying my mam used to quote at me - manners maketh man 

Or, "Age before beauty!"

 

Common courtesy probably could have stopped a few wars.

 

I'm still amazed when I ride the bus and see young folks determinedly keeping their seats while little old ladies stand. And, even though I am now of the age where young men with manners give up their seats for me (just BARELY that age, though ), I often get up myself and give my seat to an older person.

 

But then, poor manners is pretty much in evidence every day, isn't it?

Oh yes, that's what I meant! 

 

I used to get the tube to work and would always give up my seat for elderly men or women, but I'd have to be careful that some younger idiot wouldn't sneak in behind me, as soon as I'd stood up to offer it!  

This is a perfect example of the "Old school" approach to society - against the " new Age" approach. Values are not taught in today's society -there lies the problem. Some youngsters would rather mug you than open a door or give up their seat on a bus/Train. This is the " New Age" of today which we all went through back in the 60s/70s  back then though we did not think of ourselves as replicas of " Muttha F***ers"  wanting to blow yer brains out . However hard or infamous folk try to be- remember there are others that have been there and done that---- and it may come back to haunt one day..... Just mind who you mess with

*gives up her seat to Jonesy*

 

 

 Lori!

Jonesy, not sure if I've understood your post, but I'd rather my kids were taught the values that they are taught today, than the values prevalent in the 50s!

 

It wasn't a bed of roses for everyone, was it?! 

That irritates me so much when I see an older person standing and young people sitting down....I have to say though it's not a very common thing...almost as soon as an old person gets on the bus, they're offered a seat and more often than not they reply 'oh dear do I look that old'

Never mind outdated notions of chivalry. In my book, it's just called manners.

I'm female and I would never let a door slam in anyone's face, whatever their gender.

| always offer my seat on public transport if I see someone standing who needs it more than me (be they doddery or young and heavily preggers).

To me, not holding a door open or offering your seat is the height of rudeness and has nothing to do with sexism.

Demantion - why did i always think you were a guy?

Sorry

I agree with everything Deman just said.  And speaking as a fairly staunch feminist I have never been offended by a man holding a door open for me or offering help in any way. In fact I don't believe I've ever met a woman who would take offence at that.

I have to say: I don't think I know anyone who would be annoyed at a man being courteous and polite...  LOL.  Who ARE these people?  Do people actually get annoyed at this?!  I love being treated like a lady and being called love or sweetheart and having men regard me as feminine.  In fact, I love being female.   

 

One thing does annoy me though, is when I hold the door open and they don't even acknowledge me, let alone thank me.  It's usually a lone middle aged woman, or a young mum with a pushchair - yet men ALWAYS thank me and are more courteous than women in general, when I am up town or in public in general.  It's almost as if 'some' women expect people to do it for them.

 

One thing I did last summer.........: me and my daughters were on a train from Chester to Birmingham, and it was PACKED, and this lass who looked about 6 months pregnant, got on about half way through the journey with her 2 kids and fella (hubby maybe?) and there were no seats.. (They had a baby and a kiddie of about 5.)  And they looked really pissed off that there was no seats...  in fact, the girl looked close to tears.  So I said to my girls (theyre teens and I am 46,) 'lets give them our seats.' Nobody and I mean NOBODY was moving...., it was like 'NO this is MY seat, and I am NOT budging!'  My kids grumbled a bit, but I said we can stand up near the doorways and we are halfway through the journey.  I said to the man; here you go, you can have our three seats,,, and he said 'when are you getting off?  Soon?' and I said 'no, not for about 45 minutes, but it doesn't matter...'  He nudged the lady with him and whispered something to her, (after we had got up,.) She sat down in one seat, he had another seat with the baby on his lap and the 5 year old had another.  She thanked us and asked if we're sure we didnt mind..

 

We had to sit on the floor for 45 minutes LOL, but it did feel good being a good citizen. 

 

 *disclaimer* not ALL young mums and middle aged women are ungrateful and ignorant ; most are fine, but if someone IS rude and ignorant, it is almost always a young mum or a middle aged woman.  Still, the majority ARE OK 

 

and manners cost nowt

I had that horrible wondering of whether a woman was pregnant or just a bit on the large side the other morning (she did have a loose top on too) and I didn't offer my seat for fear of offending. When people got off at the next stop, she sat down and I could tell then she was pregnant - I felt really guilty, but I'm so scared of getting it wrong and making someone cry... or thump me

That was pretty  much my reaction the first time it happened to me.

 

and Saz, just cuz you offer your seat to someone doesn't put the mark of "preggers" or "I think you're preggers" on her.

If anyone offers me a seat I always check to see if my clothes are giving me a bit of a preggers belly

So it's definitely not your age, then?

Those reports are very misrepresentative of the experiments. For anyone who is interested, the full text is here and as far as I can see, there is not one single mention of opening doors! The measures of 'benevolent' sexism used were:

Benevolent Sexist Incidents

 1. Observed a man helping a woman with a task because he assumed that, as a woman, she should not have to grapple with it (e.g., long drive, selection of a new laptop, carrying shopping bags)

2.Heard someone compliment a woman, because she exhibited behavior he or she assumed was an ability particularly well suited and appropriate for women (e.g., compliment how skillful she cared for her child as a woman or how well she cooked dinner for her family as a woman).

3. Observed a man acting chivalrous toward a woman because he thought that women needed special attention although she said she didn’t need this special treatment (e.g., by insisting on paying for her dinner, by insisting on bringing her home

I've have bolded what I consider to be the emphasis, which, interestingly, was not mentioned in those reports above!