Skip to main content

So yeah the doctor has advised me to come home from uni each weekend and my parents appreciate me coming back as well. Anyway this seems to be causing personal offence to some of my friends at uni. They say it wont solve the problem and i should learn to look after myself instead of running back to my parents. A friend says i need to learn to control my mind so i dont get depressed. That i should man up. Is this true? Should I not keep coming home? Am i odd and do i need to grow up? 

Its Chicken by the way

Replies sorted oldest to newest

If you feel better going home each weekend then continue to do so. No one else knows how you're feeling - just do whatever it takes to make you feel better.

I'm no expert - and neither are your friends at uni - you do what you feel is right. There's nothing odd about you as far as I can see - you're just going through a difficult time - it can happen to anyone!
Soozy Woo
Chicken, you are perfectly 'normal'. Being different is normal. We are all unique in our own little ways.

I work in mental health with young people experiencing mental health problems. Every timeI wear a particular tea shirt that says (words to the effect) 'I like being different...it makes me unique'.......Everyone comments on it and wants to know where I got it from

Be who you are Chicken.........and if other folk think that it's odd and strange.......then thats their problem
lainy m
Reference: Chicken
 They think I need to be more independent and learn to look after myself.

But you are looking after yourself, by doing what your doctor recommends.
I don't think your friends mean to be critical, they simply don't understand what having depression means. Sometimes people think it's just like feeling a bit fed up and all you need is to give yourself a good shake and everything will be fine. Of course, it is nothing like that.
If your friends question why you are going home for the weekend, tell them the doctor thinks it will help you get better quicker - and you know they will want what is best for you.
Yogi19
Chicken - when the weekend comes just say see yah to your mates. My guess is you make a big deal/dilemma about it. Just tell them that you enjoy going home and hope that they have a good weekend.

If they see you agonising over every decision and being torn they'll feel they have a right to an opinion.

Wave goodbye to them (with a smile on your face) and greet them the same way on a Monday morning. Unless they can be sympathetic to your needs - don't discuss it with them.
Soozy Woo
Reference:
Your right tho , im sure they dont mean to be critical at all. but do i really need to keep explaining myself?

If they keep on asking, I would say (firmly but politely) "I have already explained why I am going home at weekends. I think it is doing me good and I would hope, as my friend, you would want what is best for me".
Yogi19
Chicken...  they just don't understand,   many many of them will one day...  and they will probably look back on this and think "ahhh.. I was wrong then... I get it now"

And, you ARE manning up...    you are tackling your problems, and the coming home at weekends is part of that.

If you stayed there weekends and they saw you down and stuff they'd still be telling you to man up.

If my daughter had come to me and said what you've just said (& in the past we've had similar issues to face)...  I would tell her to hold her head high, and to not necessarily tell them why you are going home at the weekend...   if they ask say "because I want to", OR "because my parents need me there at the moment..  I can't really discuss it any further atm"  that kind of thing.

It might feel like they are looking down on you for it...  but eventually people respect those that walk their own path and aren't desperate to be sheep & follow the herd.

You're doing really well chicken...    hold your head high, don't give them the ammunition to criticise you...  and gradually it will all sort itself out xx
Dirtyprettygirlthing
Reference:
people who say that about depression don't know what they're talking about



I'm guessing they miss you chicken, and thats why they want you at uni more weekends.

Just tell them you will spend weekend at uni in the future just not right now while its makng you feel bad. You are not 'running away' you are actually being very brave, to ask for help and tell people how you are feeling is really difficult and you've managed to do that! I have no worries that you will feel better at some point, just for now going home weekends its whats working for you, its not odd.
Jen-Star
Reference:
If my daughter had come to me and said what you've just said (& in the past we've had similar issues to face)... I would tell her to hold her head high, and to not necessarily tell them why you are going home at the weekend... if they ask say "because I want to", OR "because my parents need me there at the moment.. I can't really discuss it any further atm" that kind of thing.

Or.... "It's none of your business "?

charlisock
Reference:
This is a minor, and common problem... everybody who goes to uni, goes through it. Grow the hell up OP! And don't come on the forum looking for sympathy.
I really don't think it is ................if you'd followed you'd know CCM suffers from depression. All kids or most get a bit wobbly early on in UNI life - this is more than that. TBH - you're comments don't help the situation!
Soozy Woo
Chicken yes you suffer from depression... go to the uni counsellor, who could help you much better as you tell her what your specific problems are. I suffer from depression, and when I was at Uni... thats the route I took... have you explored that option?  I guarantee there are psychological help services for you, all Unis have them.

If you were serious about needing help, surely you would have pursued that option?

Seek that true help, raher than on a forum. Seriously, help is under your nose.
FM

Add Reply

×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×
×